


My Greatest Regret

by teecup_angel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: ... although there's only one, 5 chapters of prequel, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, FBI agent!Levi, I'll add more as I go along, M/M, Serial Killers, Smut, actor!Eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-13 13:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2151633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teecup_angel/pseuds/teecup_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years ago, Levi met an eighteen years old man with mismatched eyes. Something about him intrigued Levi and he acted upon his impulses. </p><p>Five years ago, Levi met Eren Yeager, a mysterious young man who seemed to be the exception to every rule Levi had.</p><p>Five years ago, Levi made the worst mistake he will ever regret for the rest of his life.</p><p>(A Reincarnation/Modern AU of FBI agent Levi whose team is in charge of catching an elusive serial killer who is obsessed with the actor Eren Yeager... who had a relationship with Levi 5 years ago...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sun in His Left and the Sea in His Right

**Author's Note:**

  * For [puddinlegs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/puddinlegs/gifts).



> Just a few notes and warning for this story:  
> 1 This is very angst-y BUT it will have a happy ending (I love these two idiots too much to give them a bad ending XD)  
> 2 Unbeta’ed, of course  
> 3 First 5 chapters are set five years ago with Levi at 22 and Eren at 18 (and Levi’s going to be an idiot and an asshole)  
> 4 This is a reincarnation fic which is pretty much hinted from the very beginning XD
> 
> Difference from the initial notes posted [ here ](http://angel-in-a-teecup.tumblr.com/post/87596475657/ideas-notes-for-the-actor-eren-au-i-had):  
> 1 The original idea was that Eren had amber eyes but, here, Eren has an amber left eye and a turquoise right eye (it’s related to the plot, I promise)  
> 2 There will be no Eruri (Erwin x Levi) now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi met him in a café.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 unbeta’ed as usual  
> 2 slight smut

Levi was always the type to do whatever the hell he wanted, screw the consequences. It got him in trouble more than he liked to count. Because of that, he also learned how to take care of himself and to get out of trouble as soon as possible.

But there was one trouble he never got out of.

Five years ago, he met Eren Yeager.

Five years ago, Levi was training to be an FBI agent. His desire to be an agent was mainly because he wanted to send a big “fuck you” to his bastard of a father and because he wanted to show everyone who insulted his mother that he wasn’t a disgrace and his mother did right in raising him and his younger sister.

It might also be because of a certain tall blond bastard who helped him get up his feet when he was ready to die in the streets.

He was living in two bedroom apartment with an eccentric college student studying in genetics while he left his younger sister with the family of their childhood friend. He still called her every weekend just to check up on her. He knew she was in good hands since their childhood friend treated her like a little sister of his own.

Every Saturday morning, he stays in this small café just a few blocks to the west of his apartment. Their coffee wasn’t anything special but it was cheap and he could sit as long as he wanted. It was better to study inside a quiet café than inside the apartment when his roommate was in. That damn woman could talk with the speed of an AK47 and the loudness of a fucking 12 gauge shotgun.

And Levi wasn’t even exaggerating.

It was during one of those Saturday morning that he noticed a pair of eyes staring at him. He was just sitting on his usual table, back against the wall, overseeing the entire café, when he felt it. He raised his head from staring at the thick textbook he was reading and there he was.

A young man with dark brown hair and tan complexion was staring at him from one of the table close to the tall glass window. His stare was glazed, as if he was daydreaming or lost in his own thoughts. He was wearing a teal colored long sleeve shirt and a pair of dark brown boots two inches above his ankle over a pair of tight jeans. On the table was a cup, a black notebook and a light brown jacket.

Normally, Levi would just glare at whoever was staring at him and get back to reading about how many different sick ways serial killers get off killing people but this time it was different.

His eyes were of different color.

Levi knew it was called Heterochromia Iridum.

He had seen a cat that had one green eye and one blue eye before.

But the boy’s eyes were different.

The right eye seemed like a fusion of blue and green. It reminded Levi of the sea and of the gem Turquoise. For some reason, the color calmed Levi.

The left eye seemed like a fusion of yellow and gold. It reminded Levi of the sun and of the gem Amber. It also made Levi feel uncomfortable.

It… didn’t feel right.

The young man noticed that Levi was now staring at him and hurriedly looked down; staring at his open notebook like it was the most interesting thing in the entire world at the moment. Levi stared at him for a moment before sighing. He closed his textbook and returned it to his messenger bag. He grabbed his cup of warm coffee and walked towards the boy with the mismatched eyes. He stopped in front of the empty chair in front of the boy and asked, “Is this taken?”

“Eh?” The young man raised his head to stare at him, his mouth open in surprise and confusion.

Levi patted the chair with his free hand and repeated the question, “Is this chair taken?”

The young man shook his head and stared at Levi as he sat down. He placed the cup on the table and placed his messenger bag under the table. He crossed his legs and rested his chin on his palm, staring openly at the young man. The brown haired man fidgeted under his gaze and Levi said, “Levi Magnolia.”

“Huh?” The brown haired man looked confused at what Levi had said.

“My name.” Levi clarified and raised an eyebrow as he asked, “And you would be?”

“Eren.” The young man replied, a small shy smile gracing his youthful face, “Eren Yeager.”

“Nice to meet you, Eren Yeager.” Levi’s lips curved to a small smirk as he asked, “Would you like to hang out sometime?”

He had met Eren that Saturday and they watched a movie the following Sunday. The movie was some kind of horror film that was more about screaming idiots than a real complicated plot. Eren still enjoyed it though.

They had sex next Saturday in Levi’s apartment. He had thrown his roommate out a few hours ago but she still managed to meet Eren before finally leaving.

Eren was eighteen, on his first year in college.

Levi had thought he was a virgin but the boy just said ‘it has been a while’.

Levi didn’t bother asking more than that.

His relationship with Eren was fun and light.

They fuck, they eat together, Eren talks about his friends and family, smiling like the naïve idiot that he was, and Levi listened, sometimes he would talk but it was mostly Eren talking about himself.

Eren’s father was a doctor but he was more of a mama’s boy and the little shit was proud of it.

Eren was close to his cousin which he calls his ‘older sister’.

Eren was also close to few of his batchmates, a pair of lovebirds named Hannah and Franz, a cowardly boy named Daz, a hyperactive girl named Mina, an older and wiser boy named Mylius, a kind boy named Nac and the natural leader of their little group named Thomas.

Eren also liked to cuddle after sex.

Levi had always been disgusted at touching his partner after sex. They smelled of sex and sweat.

But Eren was different. He still smelled like sex and sweat but Levi found out he didn’t care. There was something comforting of having the taller man wrap his arms around Levi’s waist and press his ear on Levi’s chest as if listening to his heartbeat.

Eren also had the habit of mumbling in his sleep.

Most of the time, it was soft that Levi didn’t quite hear it clearly.

There was one word that Eren say most of the time that Levi finally understood the word.

Corporal.

It was a title for someone, Levi was sure.

Who it was though, Levi never asked.

Levi didn’t want to.

Not when Eren always said that name with a pained expression in his sleep.

Not when that one word also made Levi’s chest ache for a reason he never understood.

Eren was also the only person Levi has ever slept with more than twice.

He was also the only person Levi had slept with that knew about his childhood friend and younger sister.

It was frightening how different Eren was to all the other people Levi had slept with.

And it seemed Levi was also different from the other people Eren had slept with before.

“Oooohh. You have such an interesting birthmark, Eren.” Levi’s hyperactive roommate, Hange Zoë, commented as she reached for the nape of Eren’s neck.

Levi knew what Hange was talking about. He had seen Eren’s birthmark. It was shaped like a cut on the nape of Eren’s neck.

Eren immediately covered back of his neck and turned to face Hange. He smiled sheepishly as he said, “Please don't touch it. I... don't like it when people touch the back of my neck.”

Levi glared at Hange and warned, “Hey, Shitty glasses. Either you keep quiet and watch this alien movie with us or you get the fuck out of this apartment right now.”

“How rude!” Hange pouted and sat on the floor as she reminded him, “This is my apartment too, you know.”

“Seriously, Hange. Either shut up or get out.” Levi hissed, trying to focus on watching the movie. The soft chuckle that left Eren’s lips was calming and he let the younger man rest his head on Levi’s shoulder as they finally managed to watch the movie in peace.

That night, Levi was curious so he kissed Eren’s birthmark while he was thrusting inside the brown haired man beneath him.

Eren gasped and gripped the bed sheet tightly, making Levi groan as he felt Eren clench all over him. Levi tightened his grip on Eren’s waist and bit the nape of Eren’s neck lightly. He was rewarded by Eren moaning beneath him, his entire body shivering. Levi couldn’t help the smirk that appeared on his face as he asked, “I thought you hate it when people touch the back of your neck?”

Eren turned to smile at him as he said with a hoarse voice, “You're an exception.”

Eren pulled Levi until their lips were just an inch apart as he whispered, “You've always been an exception.”

Eren yelped when Levi suddenly flipped him, his back colliding with the bed. Levi captured his lips in a fevered hungry kiss as he moved Eren’s legs to up until they were pressed against Eren’s chest. Moans and screams left Eren’s lips as Levi continued to thrust hard and fast, making sure to hit Eren’s prostate with each thrust. Levi stroke Eren’s hard cock at the same hard pace as his thrusts, enjoying the look of pure pleasure in Eren’s face. The way his lips was parted as he moaned and gasped for breath, the way his entire face was red and flushed, the way his mismatched eyes were dark with lust, the way tears fell from his eyes and the way saliva trailed down from his parted lips.

Levi should be disgusted at how Eren looked.

But the look of utter ecstasy on Eren only spurred Levi on.

He didn’t even know who came first. All he knew is that they both fell asleep soon after with Eren cuddling him and Levi humoring like usual. Levi was even too tired to fucking take a shower first.

Levi woke up in the crack of dawn because something was missing.

Eren was not in his arms.

It was so fucking mushy he wanted to hit his head to the nearest wall but finding the annoying brat was more important.

He saw Eren sitting by the edge of the bed, staring at a small box in his hands. He knew what the box Eren was holding was. He had always kept it hidden inside the drawer of his study table. But a few nights ago, he suddenly had the urge to leave it by the bedside table. Levi didn’t understand why he did such a thing though.

The only source of light was the moonlight outside but Levi could still see Eren’s face. His eyes glowed due to the moonlight and Levi’s brows furrowed as he noticed Eren’s expression.

He looked… sad?

He wanted to ask what was wrong. He wanted to ask why he looked ready to cry.

But all he managed to do was call out, “Eren?”

Eren jumped at the sound of his voice and closed the box immediately. He looked at Levi with guilty puppy eyes as he apologized in a quick panicked tone, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to take it! It was on the bedside table and I got curious and I-“

Eren lowered his head and apologized once more, “Sorry.”

Levi sat up and took the box from Eren’s hands. He opened it and saw the simple gold ring inside. He took it out of the box and asked, “You like this?”

“Huh?”

Sometimes, Eren could be as dense as a rock.

But Levi never really found it annoying.

Levi placed the ring on his palm and showed it to Eren as he clarified, “This thing.”

“It's...” Eren’s lips curved to a small smile as he whispered, “… beautiful.”

Levi rolled his eyes and shrugged as he said, “It's a plain gold ring. There's nothing special about it. Here.”

“Levi!” Eren shouted when Levi suddenly grabbed his wrist.

Levi paid no attention to Eren’s struggles and placed the ring on Eren's left ring finger. Eren finally stopped struggling and stared at his left hand. Levi patted Eren’s thigh and said in a nonchalant manner, “It's yours.”

Eren’s eyes widened and he shouted, “But-“

“Throw it out for all I care.” Levi cut him off with shrug.

Eren stared at him for a few moments before he placed his left hand by his chest and covered it with his right hand. He smiled softly at Levi and his eyes began to glisten as he whispered, “Thank you.”

Levi couldn’t form any words to reply to Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, next chapter is going to be more emotional because… Levi is a fucking idiot. TTATT


	2. Prelude to Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi realized something and things begin to escalate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol. 69 kudos... SIXTY-NINE KUDOS!!! XD
> 
> Notes:  
> 1 unbeta’ed as usual  
> 2 Levi’s an idiot and an asshole and… just… arrrgghhh

Levi only noticed when Hange had commented “I’m gonna leave you two lovebirds alone then. Don’t want to get between a couple in love anyway” as she left an hour before Eren was scheduled to go into the apartment. She had said it with a grin on her face and oblivious to how her words had froze Levi on the spot, trying to comprehend what she had just said. 

He looked at the entire apartment. 

The small bathroom had three toothbrushes in the cup next to the sink and toiletries that didn’t belong either to him or Hange. His room was filled with textbooks he didn’t own. There was a small novel on the bedside table that he never read. His closet had articles of clothing that did not belong to him. The living room had a few cases of DVDs that didn’t belong to him or Hange. There was a coat hanging on the coat rack that didn’t belong to him or Hange. 

It only served to support Hange’s words. 

A couple…

He and Eren… were a couple…

Levi never had a serious relationship. It was always brief, mainly because he didn’t want anyone becoming too emotional close to him. He saw what it did to his mother. No matter how much of a bastard his father was, his mother never had the courage or the strength to leave. He didn’t want that. 

He didn’t want to become weak like his mother. 

He didn’t want to become a monster like his father. 

That’s why he ran. He ran out of the apartment and went to the nearest safe place he remembered. 

He didn’t bother knocking and used the key he had been given. He went inside and immediately sat on the comfy couch in the living room of this one bedroom apartment. He sat in the darkness for an hour before he heard the sound of keys clinking against one another from the front door. He heard the recognizable footsteps nearing his place in the living room. 

“Levi?” The familiar voice laced with concern and surprise made Levi turn his head from staring at the blank television screen to where a blond man was currently standing by the door. 

“Erwin…” Levi rubbed his forehead as he hissed, “I’m so fucked up.” 

A few bottles of beer which tasted like shit and a bag of three weeks old chips were Erwin’s bribery to get Levi to talk. 

And Levi did talk. 

Erwin was the one who helped Levi get to FBI Academy. He was the son of one of the most distinguished Navy Seals officer. He was the reason why Levi was able to meet Hange and get a nice apartment in a nice neighborhood. 

Levi didn’t understand why Erwin had helped him, why Erwin was still helping him. 

At first he thought Erwin may have had romantic feelings for him but the bastard just laughed so loudly and hysterically like Levi had said the funniest joke in the entire world. 

Levi didn’t know if he should be relieved or be insulted. 

Erwin had made it clear that he cared for Levi but it was never romantic in nature. He didn’t really understand it that well. All he knew was that he trusted Levi and he wanted to help so he did. 

The most surprising thing about their entire friendship was Levi trusted Erwin fully. 

Levi can count the number of people he trusted before Erwin. There were only two of them: Farlan Church, his childhood friend, and Isabel Magnolia, his younger sister. 

Then Erwin came in like a prince in shining fucking armor and helped Levi to stand on his own feet. 

They had met by coincidence. Levi had gotten into a fight with a certain gang near his old neighborhood. The gang leader said some shit about his mother being a whore which Levi was already used to. The one that caused him to attack them like a rabid animal was the leader saying that Isabel would grow up a whore as well. He saw red and attacked them. Farlan wasn’t any better. He was usually the voice of reason between the two of them but he had a soft spot for Isabel and that caused him to lose all his rationality and attack the gang as well. 

The only saving grace was Isabel wasn’t with them since she had a slight fever that day so she was at home resting. 

Their fight attracted a lot of people, including Erwin who looked like he came from a rich family with butlers and shit. At first, Levi had thought Erwin was going to look away and go his merry way but, instead, the rich kid had joined the fray and helped Levi and Farlan. 

When they heard the police sirens, all three of them ran at the same direction. Once they were far away from the sirens, Erwin had smiled his charming smile that made women swoon and lose their panties before introducing himself. 

Farlan had been reluctant at spending time with Erwin but he accepted him after a few months. 

Anyone Levi deemed as trustworthy was immediately trustworthy in Isabel’s eyes. 

That’s how Levi’s trio became a quartet. 

When Erwin had said he wanted to become an FBI agent, it just seemed the right choice to follow him. Farlan stayed behind to attend the local university for his premed so that someone could look after Isabel. 

They still kept in touch and, every month, Levi would go to Erwin’s apartment and use his phone to call Isabel and Farlan while on speakers. 

Erwin’s apartment became Levi’s hiding place whenever Hange became too much to handle and he needed some time alone. 

That’s why it just seemed natural he would go to Erwin’s place right now. 

That’s why it just seemed natural to tell Erwin about Eren and their current… relationship. 

Once Levi had finished, Erwin had taken a shower and came back wearing nothing but a pair of slacks while Levi had taken off his jacket and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt in an attempt to cool down. Erwin had a shitty air-conditioning unit and the amount of alcohol Levi had consumed did not help. Erwin sat on the coffee table directly in front of Levi and asked with a blank expression, “You do know you’re running away, right?” 

Levi glared at him and hissed, “I am not running away.” 

“You realized you’re in a serious relationship with Eren and that scared you.” Erwin said in a tone that was neither annoyed nor accusing. 

“I am not scared.” Levi hissed once more. 

Erwin sighed and closed his eyes as he said, “You told Isabel and Farlan about him. Hell, you told me about him. You never do that, Levi. You don’t tell us about your sex life… or your lack of a love life.” 

“Because I don’t have a love life!” Levi shouted as he stood. Erwin immediately stood as well and followed Levi as he walked out of the living room. 

“Levi!” Erwin shouted as Levi opened the front door, attempting to get out of the apartment. 

What he saw on the other side of the door made him stop dead in his tracks though. 

On the other side of the door was Eren, finger by the doorbell, obviously about to push the button. Eren raised his head to look at Levi, a look of pure relief etched on his face. 

“Levi!” Eren shouted, rushing towards Levi. He grabbed Levi’s arm and said in a panicked tone, “I was looking everywhere for you! You weren’t in your apartment and I tried calling you but you left your phone in the apartment so I called Hange and she said you might be here and-“

Eren stopped and Levi noticed he was staring behind him or, to be more precise, staring at the half naked man behind him. Eren turned to look at Levi and Levi felt his chest ache painfully at the confusion and hurt currently residing in Eren’s mismatched eyes. He held his right hand over his left hand, placing his point finger and thumb on the gold ring in his left ring finger. He stared at Levi and asked, “Wh… why? Are you… is he…?”

Levi knew what Eren was trying to say. 

Anyone would probably misunderstand the situation considering Erwin was only wearing a pair of slacks and his hair was wet. Levi was not really any better. Other than the less than presentable state of his shirt, he had also been ruffling his hair ever since he came to Erwin’s apartment due to his annoyance and frustration. His hair was probably so disarrayed it looked like he rolled out of bed. 

He could see the confusion and the fear in those mismatched eyes. He could see the pain Eren was hiding in the way his shoulders shake uncontrollably. 

“Yes. We had sex.” 

“LEVI!” Erwin’s surprised shout didn’t even register to Levi. 

He didn’t know where that lie had come from. 

He didn’t know why he had said it. 

But he knew it was the correct choice. 

If he wanted to keep his distance…

“Why?” That one word that left Eren’s lips was filled with so much despair and pain that Levi wanted to take back everything he said. 

He wanted to tell Eren that he was lying. 

But he didn’t. 

"You seem to have the wrong idea, Eren. What we have? It's just sex. Nothing more." Levi shrugged as he added, “It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything.” 

“Levi…” 

Levi knew that Erwin was angry but he was trying his best to not show it. 

Whatever Erwin was going to say was cut off by Eren laughing. It sounded so empty and pained that Levi wanted to wrap his arms around the brown haired boy but he stayed by the door. 

He needed to do this. 

He… can’t. 

He can’t let Eren any closer. 

He saw how Eren was playing with the ring in his left ring finger, how he kept twisting it again and again. He wondered if Eren was debating on taking it off and throwing it on Levi’s face. 

Levi wouldn’t be surprised. 

He also tried his best to deny the thought of how much he wished Eren didn’t do such a thing. 

Eren forced a grin as he said, "Oh. You should really clarify that sort of thing. Oh man.” 

Eren rubbed his face with his right hand as he continued, “I'm so embarrassed, getting worked up over nothing.” 

Eren rubbed the back of his neck as he asked in a slightly sad tone, “We're still on for tomorrow, right?" 

All Levi could do was whisper softly, "Yeah..." 

"Then... I'll see you tomorrow." Eren nodded at Erwin as he said, "It was... nice meeting you." 

Erwin nodded as well as he replied with pitying eyes, "Likewise." 

Eren awkwardly waved at them before walking away. Levi closed the door, not wanting to watch Eren get on the elevator. He pressed his forehead against the door and heard Erwin hiss at him, "What the hell, Levi?! What the hell did you do that for?!" 

“Shut up.” Levi hissed as he closed his eyes, wishing that he could forget the look of pain in Eren’s face. 

“Don’t tell me to shut up, you coward! You just said we had sex! You used me as an excuse!” Erwin hissed as he grabbed Levi’s arm and forced the black haired man to turn around, “Did you see how devastated he was when you said those things?! Did you even notice how relieved he was when he saw you?! Did you even notice how in love-“

“SHUT UP!” Levi shouted as he opened his eyes, slapping Erwin’s hand away. He rubbed his forehead as he hissed, “Don’t you dare say that. We’ve only known each other for a few weeks.” 

Erwin whispered, "You gave him your mother's ring." 

"That ring is just a family heirloom. It doesn't mean anything. And-" Levi frowned as he continued, "This isn’t natural, Erwin. I can't...” 

“I'm not the type of person to get attached to someone this fast." Levi hissed as he leaned his back against the door. 

"There's always an exception to the rule, Levi." Erwin whispered. 

"Not to me." 

Erwin rubbed his eyes and turned away. He sighed in resignation, knowing that Levi will stubbornly hold on to what he was saying. He shook his head and mumbled, "I really hope you don't screw this up, Levi." 

Levi didn’t answer him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …………… poor Eren… TTATT


	3. Reaping What You Sow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin asked for backup. Levi is still an idiot. Eren gets a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
> 1 unbeta’ed as usual  
> 2 Levi is still an idiot  
> 3 Eren is hiding ‘something’  
> 4 Translation for the non-English dialogue on the end notes

It didn’t take a genius to see how Eren had become increasingly distant after the Erwin incident (Levi was the one mentally calling it that. Erwin and Hange had vocally expressed their displeasure by calling ‘Levi’s Most Idiotic Excuse’ incident).

It started out with Eren no longer spending the night in the apartment.

It took a few times before Levi actually noticed it. The first three times, he didn’t think about it. Eren was a freshman. He was bound to be busy sooner or later. But when those three consecutive times continued till next month, it finally caught Levi’s attention.

Eren always had a reason for going out no matter how late.

“I have an early class tomorrow.”

Levi and Hange’s apartment was closer to Eren’s college than Eren’s apartment.

“I forgot I have homework and I left my textbook in my apartment.”

The same textbook that had been in Levi’s room just a few weeks ago…

Which led to another thing Levi noticed…

Eren’s things were slowly disappearing.

Just yesterday, Levi noticed their bathroom only had his and Hange’s toiletries now.

His room was completely void of anything out of place.

His closet looked like it was missing a few articles of clothing.

It felt… empty…

And then there was the way Eren was distancing himself emotionally.

Before that incident, Eren had enjoyed talking about his family, his friends and even the stupid calculus class he has at eight in the morning. He also liked planning for the weekends or the holidays. He had already promised Hange to go as the mad scientist and her lovely monster for Halloween.

Now… Levi would be lucky if Eren would suggest they watch a movie showing next week. Levi would be lucky if he heard Eren talk the stupidity his friends did during lunch break.

It always left a bitter taste in his mouth whenever Eren would distant himself whether physically or verbally.

Not to mention his insomnia was back.

While Eren never did cure it (as if a single brat would be able to suddenly cure his insomnia), sleeping with Eren had lessen it even for just a bit. Sometimes it would be because he was tired after sex and Eren was pleasantly warm in his arms. Other times, staring at Eren’s sleeping form relaxed him enough to finally fall asleep.

Now that Eren was no longer staying the night, Levi’s insomnia had returned with a vengeance. And, even if Levi did manage to fall asleep, he’ll wake up an hour or two afterwards with the distinct feeling of being cold and missing something.

It left him in a more irritable mood.

That Eren usually calmed down with his own personal blend of tea.

It was a simple black tea with the right amount of milk Levi enjoyed.

But there was a certain hint of another flavor that Levi couldn’t place.

The tea was hot but it left a cooling effect on Levi’s throat.

All he knew was that he liked it.

He had said ‘not bad’ when he first tasted it and his chest ached when he saw Eren’s surprised look before smiling softly. He felt his throat dry immediately when Eren suddenly turned around, obviously realizing that he had emotionally slipped.

Levi had wanted to grab Eren by the shoulder and turn him around.

He wanted to say that he liked the tea Eren had prepared.

He wanted to punch himself because he knew Eren was distancing himself because he thought that was what Levi wanted.

But that’s not what Levi wanted.

He wanted…

He wanted a lot of things.

But he knew he can’t.

He can’t let Eren get any closer than this.

He was a walking ball of contradictory.

And he hated it.

Erwin and Hange had left him alone on this. They still continued to look at him with disapproving eyes whenever Eren was concern but, most of the time, it was an untouchable topic.

That’s why he was more than surprise when the doorbell rang one night when Erwin didn’t dare visit when he knew Eren was there and Hange had made it clear that she would be sleeping at Erwin’s tonight. He figured it was Moblit, Hange’s slav- ‘assistant’. He was more surprised when he recognized the man on the other side of the door.

“Hey, Levi. Sorry for coming here without calling.” A young man with pale brown hair and hazel colored eyes smiled at him.

“Farlan…” Levi’s eyes narrowed as he asked, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I took an exam for the medical school here that I’m trying to transfer to next year.” Farlan replied as he continued to smile at Levi, “It’s just a train ride away from your place and I lost track of time checking the neighborhood between my medical school and the college Isabel’s applying for. Before I knew it, it was already late so I figured I could crash here instead of trying to go home tonight.”

“Did Erwin call you?” Levi hissed as he glared at Farlan.

Farlan’s smile turned a bit more devious as he whispered back, “He did. Don’t worry. Isabel still thinks you’re her perfect older brother who can’t do anything wrong.”

“Far-“

“Levi?”

Levi growled lowly.

Sometimes, Eren really have bad timing.

Why couldn’t Eren just continue watching in the living room instead?

Farlan’s smile returned to that charming smile that made women swoon more than once and he pushed Levi to the side as he greeted, “You must be Eren! Levi’s told me about you!”

Eren’s eyes widened as he asked, “He did?”

Levi simply sighed and closed the door.

“Oh, yes. His shitty brat as he called you.” Farlan continued as he walked inside. He offered his hand towards Eren as he introduced himself, “It’s nice to finally put a face to a name. I’m Farlan Church, Levi’s unfortunate childhood friend.”

Levi noticed Eren’s eyes widened when Farlan said his name but the young man immediately smiled and shook Farlan’s hand as he said, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Church.”

Farlan chuckled and shook his head as he said, “Please call me Farlan. Mr. Church makes me sound old.”

Eren gasped when Farlan suddenly pulled his hand. Farlan caught him by his chin and tilted his head up. Farlan stared at Eren’s face for a few seconds before he hummed and commented, “Levi was right. Your eyes are beautiful.”

“FARLAN!” Levi shouted as he quickly walked towards them.

Before Levi could pull Farlan away, Eren had quickly pushed Farlan and took a few steps back. He covered his left eye and whispered, “Please don’t look at it.”

He always did that.

Whenever someone commented about his eyes, Eren would always hide his left eye only.

As if he was ashamed of his amber colored eye.

“Eren…” Levi took a step towards Eren. He honestly didn’t know what he wanted to do. All he knew was that he wanted to get closer to Eren.

“I-I’m sorry!” Eren apologized and quickly grabbed his bag as he said, “I have to get going. I have an assignment to finish for tomorrow’s class.”

Levi knew Eren only has afternoon classes tomorrow.

Eren walked briskly towards the door. He turned the knob and opened the door before looking back towards Levi. Eren smiled shyly as he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Levi nodded and Eren’s smile turned into a soft smile. He nodded at Farlan as he said, “It was nice meeting you… Farlan…”

Farlan nodded and replied, “You too.”

Farlan and Levi watched as Eren left the apartment, closing the door behind him. Farlan crossed his arms and continued to stare at the door as he commented, “Erwin’s right, you know.”

“Don’t.” Levi hissed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Just… don’t…”

Farlan sighed before turning around. He went to the living room and Levi followed him. Farlan sat on the couch and commented, “You have it bad, Levi.”

“No. I don’t.” Levi hissed and glared at the man sitting on the couch, “We’re just… we’re friends with benefits. We’re not even exclusive.”

Farlan hummed and placed his feet on the coffee table as he commented, “Then maybe I'll fuck him before I leave.”

Levi froze at those words.

Farlan turned to look at Levi with a bored expression as he continued, “He’s cute. His eyes are as gorgeous as you said.”

Farlan’s lips curved to a smirk as he added, “He's a screamer, isn't he? I bet he's loud.”

Levi’s hands formed into fists as he hissed in a warning tone, “Farlan...”

“That face?” Farlan stood and walked towards Levi. He poked Levi between the eyes before continuing, “That's not the face someone makes when talking about a no-string attached fuck buddy.”

Levi couldn’t find the words to reply to that.

“Don’t worry. I’ve only been in the same room as him for a few minutes and I already know he only has eyes for you.” Farlan smiled softly as he continued, “And that smile…”

“Stop it, Farlan.” Levi hissed as he turned away from Farlan.

Farlan shrugged as he explained, “I only came ‘cause Erwin was whining about it to me. Maybe he thought I could cram some sense in that brain of yours. I told him I wouldn’t be able to change your mind if you’re hell bent on screwing this up.”

Farlan sighed and said, “I know it’s not my place to butt in. Quite frankly, I still believe that you can take care of yourself.”

“But…” Farlan’s eyes softened as he said, “Just… I just hope you don’t regret this.”

Levi’s heart suddenly ached at those words.

Farlan did not know the impact he was having as he continued with a soft whisper, “Isabel and I hope you won’t make a choice you’ll regret.”

Farlan patted Levi’s back once before saying in a cheerful tone, “But enough about that! I was serious about staying here for the night. Already called Isabel to tell my parents about it.”

Farlan noticed Levi wasn’t responding anymore and said, “I’ll take the couch. I’m so tired I feel like I can drop dead anytime so I’ll go freshen up then go straight to sleep.”

Farlan didn’t wait for Levi to reply and walked towards the bathroom with a cheerful, “I’m gonna borrow an extra towel, ‘kay?”

When Farlan got out of the bathroom, Levi was already in his room.

Levi spent the entire night, staring at the ceiling.

 

 

 

Farlan’s visit only made Levi more distant, more distracted.

He was honestly trying to think about Farlan’s words, trying to analyze if he was doing what was right.

If Eren knew he was more distracted, he made no comment about it.

Eren continued serving the same tea.

Levi continued drinking it.

They continued watching whatever catches their interest.

They continued to have sex.

Their ‘relationship’ continued as it was.

No…

It was more accurate to say that their ‘relationship’ continued to slowly become more distant.

That’s why Levi was surprised when he heard Eren say, “So, about next weekend...”

Eren was… planning…?

Levi didn’t bother to look away from the paper he was reading as he replied automatically, “I have a report coming up so I'm going to be busy.”

He seriously wanted to kick himself… repeatedly…

“That's alright. We can-“ Whatever Eren was about to say was cut off by the sound of his mobile phone ringing. Eren took his mobile phone out of the pocket of his jeans and looked at the number being flashed on the small screen. Levi noticed Eren’s brows furrowed slightly and Eren said in a distracted tone, “Sorry. I have to take this.”

Levi stared at Eren as he walked towards Levi’s room but didn’t bother closing the door. He saw Eren lean by the window as he accepted the call. He placed his phone by his ear as he said, “ミカサ?どうした?”

Levi knew Eren was talking in Japanese. He had mentioned about his mother being Japanese.

He had no idea what the hell Eren was saying though.

“ええ?おばさんが?!” Eren hurriedly walked out of the room as he continued, “分かった!かあさんに連絡するからちょっと待ってよ.”

Eren hurriedly grabbed his bag and coat. He was panicking a bit as he apologized, “I'm sorry, Levi. I have to go.”

Levi wanted to ask what was wrong.

It was obvious something was bothering Eren.

And Levi hated seeing Eren with that kind of expression.

But he knew he shouldn’t so he just replied, “Okay...”

 

 

He didn’t hear from Eren for two days.

On the third day, Levi had been contemplating on calling Eren when said boy came in using his copy of the apartment’s key. Eren had stared at him for a few seconds, his mouth opening then closing a few times as if he was trying to find the words to say.

In the end, he didn’t say anything.

He just grabbed Levi by the arm and pulled. Their lips crashed together and Levi immediately deepened the kiss.

Only two days had passed and he already missed Eren’s kiss.

It was all screwed up.

This was all screwed up.

But none of those mattered as he pulled Eren closer, holding him in his arms. They stumbled into Levi’s room, Eren’s arms around Levi’s shoulders and Levi’s hands on Eren’s waist. They would pull back to catch their breath for a few seconds then return to the same fevered kiss that left Levi breathless and wanting more.

There was a hint of desperation in their movements. From the way they haphazardly took their clothes off to the hasty preparation.

Levi had been too preoccupied to care about the mess they were making.

Eren held onto him the entire time, begging for more kisses as Levi entered him.

He wrapped his legs around Levi’s waist and moaned loudly as he chanted Levi’s name.

Tears fell from his eyes and Levi wiped them away with his thumbs.

Levi didn’t know if those tears were because of their hasty preparation or because of something else.

What he did know was that Eren needed this closeness. He needed to feel Levi close.

And Levi wanted to grant that desire.

Eren wanted it harder so Levi became rougher.

Eren wanted it faster so Levi increased the speed of his thrusts.

Eren wanted to be kissed so Levi kissed him with the fervor of a dying man.

Eren wanted to be held so Levi held him as if he was afraid he was going to disappear if he let go.

They didn’t last long.

Eren came first, moaning Levi’s name and holding onto him so tightly Levi had hard time breathing. His nails dug deep on Levi’s back but not deep enough to make him bleed. His muscles tighten all around Levi’s cock and Levi came deep inside Eren. In their haste, Levi had actually forgotten to put on a condom so Eren gasped at the sudden hotness he felt.

They stayed in each other’s arm with Levi on top of Eren as they tried to catch their breath, their forehead touching. Levi captured Eren’s lips once more as he finally pulled out of Eren but his kiss was gentle and soft.

He saw tears fall from Eren’s eyes once more and he whispered, “Eren…”

Eren placed his hands on Levi’s cheeks and stared at Levi for a moment as if he was trying to memorize Levi’s face. He smiled softly as he whispered, “Sorry…”

There was a hint of fear in his voice as he asked meekly, “Can I… spend the night?”

Levi felt Eren’s hands tremble as Eren whispered, “Just for tonight?”

He wanted to say Eren could stay the night anytime.

He wanted Eren to stay… every night.

But the words couldn’t come out.

He had a week to think about their relationship but it wasn’t enough.

He was still unsure if this was worth the risk.

That’s why all Levi could do was to roll on his back, taking Eren with him. Eren gasped as he landed on Levi’s chest. Levi wrapped his arms around Eren and placed a hand on the back of Eren’s head as he whispered, “Do whatever you want...”

He could feel something wet trickle down his chest. Eren closed his eyes and listened to Levi’s heartbeat as he whispered softly, “Thank you...”

For once…

Levi finally slept peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahaha. Title drop for “A Choice With No Regrets”. I couldn’t help it. XD  
> Farlan deserves more roles so he gets a big role here (quite frankly, Isabel deserves more roles but she won’t work in this timeline TTATT)  
> Levi is still in that stupid stage of “I know I shouldn’t get any closer but I simply can’t push him back either”.  
> Translation (I used Japanese ‘cause I know the language. XD)  
> “ミカサ?どうした?” = “Mikasa? What’s wrong?”  
> “ええ?おばさんが?!” = “Eeh? Aunt did?!” (Loose translation. The second sentence literally means “aunt (omitted action)?!” which means something happened to his aunt XD)  
> “分かった!かあさんに連絡するからちょっと待ってよ.” = “I understand! I’ll contact mom so wait for a bit while.”  
> (You guys probably knows what’s gonna happen next chapter XD)


	4. Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear gripped his heart, clouding his judgment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> 1 unbeta’ed as usual  
> 2 a bit of Levi’s background story  
> 3 Levi is a coward. Eren is a coward. They’re both idiots!!!  
> 4 Feeeellllzzzz. THE FEEEELLLLZZZZZZZ.

He had woken up feeling more refreshed than he had been these past months. A quick look at the digital clock on his bedside table told him he was able to sleep for four hours.

That was a fucking miracle by itself.

The reason for said miracle was currently in his arms, still asleep. Levi unconsciously began caressing Eren’s hair as his mind started walking up. Levi remembered the night before and how they had fallen asleep with Eren on top of him. Now, they were sleeping on their side, Eren’s cheek pressed against Levi’s chest, one arm between Eren’s chest and Levi’s stomach while his other hand was draped over Levi’s waist. One of Levi’s arms was resting an inch above Eren’s head while his other hand was currently caressing Eren’s hair. Their legs were a tangled mess underneath the blanket. Who managed to grab the blanket and cover them was a mystery Levi had no answer to. Perhaps he had grabbed it in his sleep?

Levi’s caress came to a sudden halt when he noticed something.

Levi’s lips were curved upward.

Holy shit.

He was smiling.

What the fuck?!!

Levi hurriedly got out of bed with a hissed “shit”.

He quickly grabbed a clean shirt, jeans and boxers from his closet and walked towards the door.

“Please don’t go…”

Levi stopped and turned around. Eren was still sleeping on his side, a pained sad look on his face. Levi was about to walk towards Eren when he heard the sleeping boy whisper, “Corporal…”

Levi’s chest ached and he formed his hands into fists out of annoyance.

Of fucking course he was sleep talking.

He was begging ‘Corporal’ to not go.

Not him.

Levi turned around and left the room, frustration and annoyance clouding his mind.

He went straight to the bathroom and quickly did his morning routine. He hastily put on his clothes and quickly grabbed his keys, wallet and phone before leaving the apartment, going straight to the only place he knew he could think in peace.

 

Or it was until Erwin decided that enough was enough.

Levi knew that he was screwed when Erwin had suddenly sat on the coffee table directly in front of the couch Levi had been sitting on and directly covered the blank television screen Levi had been staring at since he got in the apartment. Erwin’s face held no emotion but his blue eyes were serious when he said, “This has gone on for far too long, Levi.”

Levi remained silent, staring at Erwin.

“You do know you’re being unfair, right?” Erwin’s eyes softened as he added, “Especially to Eren…”

While Levi knew Erwin had kept his distance ever since that big lie a few months ago, the blond still knew about Eren from Hange. Levi didn’t quite understand why but Erwin had developed a certain soft fondness over Eren.

Levi sighed and covered his eyes as he whispered, “I know…”

Erwin frowned as he asked, “If you don’t want Eren to get any closer then why not just break up with him?”

Levi froze at those words.

He dropped his hand slowly and stared at Erwin.

Break up… with Eren?

As in… lose him?

Forever?

Erwin’s face softened as he asked, “It hasn’t even crossed your mind, has it?”

“I…”

Suddenly Levi found it hard to breath.

Erwin was right.

If Levi wanted to, he could have just broken up with Eren, disconnect all contact he had with the boy.

But…

He couldn’t imagine it.

A life without Eren…

The past weeks without any contact with Eren were already painful.

The idea of that happening till the end of his life…

“I don’t want to leave him.” The words left Levi’s mouth before he could process what he was saying.

“I can’t leave him.” Levi’s voice cracked at those words.

A soft sad smile appeared on Erwin’s face as he whispered, “Then you can’t keep doing this to him, Levi.”

Levi growled and got up as he shouted, “I know!”

Erwin closed his eyes and said, “If you can’t be serious with him-“

“I am serious!” Levi shouted once more, unable to stop his voice from rising.

Erwin thought he wasn’t serious?!

Bullshit!!

Levi has been serious.

He was thinking of what he should do. He was thinking about what would be best for him and for Eren.

He knew he was being an asshole to Eren.

Eren deserved better.

He deserved someone who wasn’t-

Levi didn’t want to finish that sentence at all.

“That’s the fucking problem! I met him what? Three month ago?! And I’m already like this!!” Levi took a deep breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he whispered, “It’s not normal, Erwin.”

Erwin smiled softly as he reminded, “You trusted me the day you met me. That wasn’t normal too.”

“That’s different.”

“Why?” Erwin stood and stared at Levi as he asked, “Why was it different with us?”

Levi dropped his hand and stared back as he whispered, “Because I don’t see you… that way…”

Erwin simply smiled softly as he commented, “You don’t see anyone the way you see Eren.”

Levi couldn’t find any words to reply to that.

Erwin sighed and said, “I’ve known you long enough to say this to you.”

Erwin glared at Levi as he ordered, “Stop being a coward.”

Before Levi could say anything, Erwin added, “Kenny Ackerman is a monster.”

Levi froze at the name. Erwin stared at Levi with a blank expression as he continued, “There’s no denying that. Your mother was kind, gentle and she did not deserve the pain she had to go through because of your father but, I really hope you don’t hit me for saying this, she was weak. She couldn’t leave Kenny and dragged both you and Isabel with her.”

Levi glared at Erwin and growled, “Erwin…”

It didn’t matter that he trusted Erwin with his life.

No one was allowed to insult his mother.

“But you got out.” Erwin continued, answering Levi’s glare with a determined stare, “You did your hardest to get them both out with you.”

“Levi.” Erwin grabbed Levi’s wrist before he whispered, “It’s not your fault your mother died before you could get her out of that house.”

“This isn’t about her!”

Levi tried to pull away but Erwin’s grip was firm. Erwin knew Levi would try to get away once he started talking about his mother, about his family.

The truth was it wasn’t the closeness he suddenly had with Eren that made him run.

It’s the implication of what could happen because of that closeness.

“Yes, it is.” Erwin retorted in a calm tone, “It’s about her. It’s about Kenny. It’s about Isabel. It’s about you.”

Levi’s glare had turned slightly murderous but Erwin pressed on.

“You’re afraid of becoming a monster like your father. You’re afraid of hurting Eren like he did to your family. You’re afraid of becoming weak like your mother. You’re afraid of Eren becoming like your mother, weak and unable to leave a monster. You’re afraid of disappointing Isabel, your last and only remaining family.”

It had been a sore subject that everyone promised they wouldn’t touch but…

Erwin had enough.

When he saw Eren the first time…

He saw how Eren had cared. He saw how devastated he had been.

And he saw how devastated Levi was over what he was doing.

Levi needed a push.

Farlan and Hange had agreed that Levi should be the one to make the final choice.

Erwin had agreed before but…

“You’re so blinded by your past that you can’t see that you have nothing to be afraid of.”

“How the hell can you say that?” Levi hissed.

“Because I know you.”

He might not have met Levi as a child like Farlan.

He might not see Levi everyday like Hange.

But he knew Levi.

He knew how Levi always tried to be strong for everyone else.

“You weren’t old enough to save your mother but you were brave enough to try and protect her when you could. You protected and cared for Isabel since she was a baby. You are not your father. You are not a monster.”

Erwin’s eyes softened as he whispered, “You are not Kenny.”

“I could be.” Levi whispered back and Erwin could hear the fear Levi tried to hide.

“You won’t be.” Erwin declared.

Levi chuckled and shook his head before asking, “And how do you know that?”

“Because you have us.” Erwin smiled softly as he continued, “Me, Farlan, Isabel, Hange… we’re all here for you.”

Levi didn’t say anything so Erwin continued, “We know you and we love you. We want you to be happy. That’s why we know… you can be happy with Eren if you…”

Erwin couldn’t stress his words enough, hoping that it would finally push Levi to the right path, “If you just stop running away.”

Levi smiled sardonically as he whispered, “Your assumptions have no basis whatsoever.”

“It does have basis, you know.” Erwin smiled back as he explained, “Hange told us about how you were before you got scared. Eren was happy. And you…”

Their conversation came to a sudden halt when they heard the front door open. They both heard hurried footsteps running towards the living room. They saw Hange ran inside, breathing heavily. She looked around and her eyes stopped right at Levi. Both men were not prepared for Hange’s hysterical scream, “YOU IDIOT!!! WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER YOUR GOD DAMN PHONE?!!!”

Levi frowned and took out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans as he explained, “I kept it in silent mode like always.”

Levi looked at his phone and frowned when he noticed he had around 50 new messages and 5 voice messages, “Shit. Hange, did you have to spam my inbox?”

“Who cares about that?!!” Hange grabbed Levi’s wrist and began dragging him out of the living room as she ordered, “Get your butt down to my jeep right now!!!”

Levi smacked Hange’s hand and ordered, “Stop pulling, you overeager idiot.”

Hange glared at him but he paid no attention to her and checked his voicemail since that was easier than checking 50 text messages.

Levi blinked when he recognized Eren’s voice for his first voicemail, “Hey, it's me. Uuumm... I just left your apartment to go back to mine. I… I need to talk to you... Call me as soon as you can, okay?”

“Levi…” Hange called out impatiently.

The second voicemail was from Eren as well, “Hi, Levi. Sorry for calling again. It's just... uumm... well... I need to talk to you as soon as possible. Please call me, okay?”

Something was wrong…

The third voicemail was also from Eren.

“You left your phone in silent mode again, didn't you?” There was a hint of amusement in Eren’s tone and Levi heard him chuckle before continuing, “Figures... well... I still have time so call me as soon as you can. I'm gonna go to your apartment in a bit and...”

Levi froze when he heard Eren’s whisper, “I really hope you're there.”

The fourth voicemail was unsurprisingly from Eren as well.

“Hey, Levi. I saw Hange and I kinda freaked her out. Figures you wouldn't be in your apartment.” Levi could hear the resignation in Eren’s voice.

“She told me you were at Erwin and… I don’t want to intrude… again.” Levi’s heart ached when he heard the same empty chuckle Eren had done the day he first saw Erwin. Eren sighed in resignation before continuing, “I wanted to have this conversation with you in person. I actually wanted to tell it to you this morning but you already left so…”

Eren’s chuckle felt tired and he continued, “I guess… we just weren’t meant to have this conversation in person, huh. The truth is… My aunt's health has been getting worse since last week and mom has been asking me to come to their house... Since...”

There was a slight pause that only made Levi dread what Eren was going to say next.

“There's nothing keeping me here...”

Levi couldn’t breathe.

Nothing… keeping him here?

“I'm going to go help mom take care of aunt... Thank you for everything, Levi.”

Thank… you…?

“I'm sorry for being a bother.”

… Eren thought he was being a bother.

“Levi, I...”

… Eren thought…

“I'm sorry for being a brat.”

Eren thought Levi didn’t need him…

Levi barely heard the final voicemail that was from Hange.

“Levi?! Where the hell are you?!!! Eren just left with all of his stuff and he left his key and the ring you gave him and he says he's leaving for good and-!! GOD DAMN IT, LEVI!!! DON'T LET HIM GO!!!”

Levi immediately ran out of the apartment with Hange following him. Erwin was momentarily surprised by their sudden haste before he ran out of the apartment as well to chase after the two.

Levi hurriedly called Eren’s phone but it went straight to voicemail. He didn’t even pay any attention to Hange giving Erwin the summary of what has happened nor did he notice the surprise and dread in Erwin’s face when Hange had finished. Levi waited for the beep before he said, “Pick up the damn phone, brat. We need to talk.”

They reached the parking area and Levi tried to call once more but got directed to the voicemail once more, “Damn it, Eren. You wanted to talk to me so fucking pick up your god damn phone.”

Hange walked towards her jeep and unlocked the doors. All three of them went inside with Hange being in the driver’s sit, Levi in the passenger’s sit and Erwin in the back sit.

“Do you know where Eren’s gone? A flight number? A bus number? Are we even sure he’s going by air? For all we know, he could be going by sea. Hell, do you even know where he is actually going?” Erwin asked, trying to be the voice of reason.

“He didn’t say anything!!” Hange said in a panicked tone.

Erwin grabbed Hange’s keys and said, “We need to think of this calmly. We can’t just drive blindly. We-“

“Eren...” Both Erwin and Hange looked at Levi who was now hiding his eyes with one hand as he cursed, “Shit. Pick up your phone. Just… pick your god damn phone...”

“Don't go. Don't... I...”

Eren thought he wasn’t needed.

“ I need you...”

Eren was leaving.

Because Levi couldn’t make up his god damn mind…

Because Levi couldn’t say…

“I love you.”

 

 

They never found out how Eren was planning to leave nor did Eren returned any of Levi's messages. There was no one they could contact with who might know. Eren had only talked about his friends briefly. After that time in Erwin’s apartment, he rarely talked about himself. Levi only knew the nickname Eren used for his friends.

… It was fucking hilarious.

He was with Eren for three months but he never found out Eren’s major at all.

The textbooks Levi saw were all mandatory subjects all freshmen took.

Without any clue where to go, Hange drove back to their apartment. Once they reach the apartment, Levi silently locked himself in his room.

 

Levi found Eren's copy of the apartment's key and a simple gold ring on his bed.

Underneath it was a simple piece of paper with Eren's handwriting.

All it said was 'I'm sorry'.

Levi spent the entire night looking everywhere for anything that was Eren's or may hold a clue to where Eren had gone.

He found nothing.

Eren had taken everything he owned.

 

The following day, Levi tried calling Eren's phone and it said that the phone was currently out of reach or has been disconnected. He didn’t know if Eren ever did get his voicemails.

His relationship with Eren had been too brief and Levi had been too distant. He never got Eren's hometown address. All he knew is that he grew up in Germany. He had relatives in Japan. Eren never got specific where in both though. And there was no evidence to support that either of those countries were his destination. For all he knew, Eren could have gone to London, Taiwan, Dubai, Canada or some other country. For all he knew, Eren could just be in one of the other states somewhere.

He never got Eren's email address or any other way to contact him. His only contact with Eren had been his mobile phone.

Why the fuck did he not get the boy’s email address?!

He tried to look for any clues in his phone.

Perhaps there was something in it that would help him figure out where Eren had gone.

That’s when he saw it.

It was saved in the phone’s internal storage.

One of the few pictures taken by the phone’s camera…

It was a picture of both him and Eren that Eren took during their second week together. Levi remembered it. They were in the same café they first met. Levi had a report he needed to finish while Eren had already finished finalizing the essay he had to pass tomorrow. Eren had been bored so he began checking Levi’s phone. He had asked permission first, smiling shyly at Levi and Levi just nodded his head. It wasn’t like he used his phone for anything other than an alarm, a reminder for dates and to contact people when he needed to. Eren had noticed the lack of photos in his camera folder and decided to add one. He scooted his chair until it was right next to Levi’s and grabbed Levi by the shoulder. He pressed their cheeks together and told Levi to look and smile at the camera. Levi glared at the camera. Eren smiled.

Levi had already forgotten about the picture.

But this was the only thing he had left of Eren.

A picture of him and Eren…

Before Levi screwed up everything…

Before Eren stopped smiling the innocent happy smile he had on the picture…

Before Levi made the greatest mistake of his life…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that phrase “you never know how much it meant until you lost it”? It’s so painfully true I hate it. XD  
> Next chapter will be the last of the prologue ‘arc’ XD  
> Uuummm… timeskip will be involved. XD


	5. 永恋

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU tsunshun for the male singer of [ Departures ~ Anata ni Okuru Ai no Uta ~](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxr1fC-NfWo) <3   
> Link the link above~
> 
> Warning:  
> 1 unbeta’ed as usual  
> 2 Levi is… a mess…  
> 3 For more feelz… play “Departures ~ Anata ni Okuru Ai no Uta ~“ by Egoist once you reach the subtitle part (it’s sung by a woman… but tsunshun sent a male version <3)  
> 4 It might be better to play “Depatures ~Anata ni Okuru Ai no Uta~” with English subtitles first so you know which part the song is (since I’m writing the ‘subtitles’ and not the Japanese lyrics)

Levi was never the type to just lie down and get swallowed by his self-pity. He found it weak. He couldn’t afford to be weak. He had to support not only his younger sister but her broken mother as well. He could be in the verge of breaking and he would still get out of the house and go on his daily life.

So he continued to go to class, continued his FBI training and continued to study.

He continued to call Isabel everyday and check up on her.

He continued to go to Erwin’s place every week so that they could both talk to Isabel and Farlan via speaker phone.

Of course, his usual demeanor caused everyone around him to be wary.

When his mother died, Levi continued to act normal. He was more caring with Isabel but he still continued to go to school. He still continued to act indifferent to everyone. He still continued to keep quiet and keep Isabel as far away from their father as possible.

And a few weeks later, Levi reported his father to the police and helped the prosecution against his own father.

The truth was he had spent weeks after his mother’s death secretly collecting evidences and following leads to convict his father of a heinous crime he had only learned by accident when he was trailing his father secretly.

Levi was eighteen when Kenny was convicted to life imprisonment with no chance of parole.

That’s why Hange, Erwin and Farlan paid more attention to every little thing Levi did.

It was Hange who found out what Levi had been planning.

Of course, Erwin knew he wasn’t the correct person to intervene Levi’s… stupid plan. There was only one person who could calm Levi down now.

That’s why, when Levi opened the door at ten o’clock of a Wednesday night, he had been surprised when the first sentence that left Farlan’s lips were “You can’t go to Germany.”

Farlan didn’t wait for Levi to reply and simply went inside the apartment. He took off his coat and hanged it on the coat rack just a few steps ahead of the door. He walked straight to the kitchen and grabbed a cup from the cupboard while Levi followed him. Farlan was about to grab a tea bag from another cupboard when Levi asked, “How did you know?”

“You don’t delete your browser history.” Farlan replied as he poured hot water to his cup.

Levi clicked his tongue before hissing, “Hange…”

Farlan sipped his tea, letting the hot liquid warm his currently freezing body, before he said, “The three of us think it’s a stupid idea.”

“It’s not-“

“It is and you know it.” Farlan cut him off before drinking tea once more. He stared at his childhood friend and said, “We’re not even sure if Eren is in Germany.”

“He grew up in Germany.” Levi defended, “Even if he isn’t there, there should be a clue to where he is right now.”

“Okay then.” Farlan shrugged and asked, “Let’s say you do go to Germany. Then what?”

Farlan glared as he asked, “Do you even have a fucking idea where in Germany he grew up?”

Levi stared at Farlan for a few seconds before whispering, “No.”

Farlan sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He stared sadly at Levi and said, “I know you want to see Eren. We all know that. But you can’t just throw away everything and go chase after Eren without any real leads. You’ll be throwing away what you have here. What you could have. And Eren would not want that.”

Levi glared at Farlan and hissed, “How the hell would you know?”

“Because I saw how he looked at you. Because I’ve heard stories about him from Hange and Erwin. Because I know he didn’t leave because he didn’t want to be with you.” Farlan’s next words were as painful as being beaten into a bloody punching bag, “Because I know he loves you.”

Levi turned away from Farlan and whispered, “Don’t say that. Just… don’t…”

“Levi…” Farlan placed his cup on the sink and grabbed Levi’s wrist, “Don’t do this to yourself.”

Levi turned around and hissed, “Do what?”

“Throw away your life because you think you deserve it!” Farlan shouted, causing Levi’s eyes to widen.

“You’ve done this before. You threw away your chance to go to a good university by getting two jobs.” Farlan reminded him, “Your excuse was that you had to support Isabel but we all knew that was bullshit. You didn’t have to give up your own life to support Isabel. You did it because you thought you deserve it. You thought you should be punished for not being able to save your mother.”

“Farlan…” Levi tried to pull away from Farlan’s grip but his childhood friend held on.

“Please, Levi.” Farlan pleaded, “Don’t do this again. Haven’t you already suffered enough?”

“I…”

“Eren wouldn’t want this.” Farlan added, causing Levi to look at the floor, “Eren would want you to be happy.”

“How… How… How the hell can I be happy when I know I made the one person I didn’t want to lose leave!!?” Levi finally shouted, no longer able to hold it all in. Levi pulled away and Farlan simply let him go. Levi turned around and covered his face with his left hand as he let it all out, “I fucking screwed up! I know that! I was afraid of ‘what ifs’ and I hurt him! I don’t deserve him! I know that!”

“But I still want him by my side!” Levi turned around and faced Farlan. Farlan’s heart ached when he saw the sadness and pain etched in Levi’s face as his childhood friend continued, “I… I need him. I… can’t… I just…”

Levi covered his face once more as he mumbled, “I don’t want to let him go.”

“Then find him.” Farlan whispered. Levi dropped his hand and stared at Farlan. Farlan smiled sadly as he added, “But not like this, Levi. He wouldn’t want that.”

Farlan placed his hands on Levi’s shoulders and said seriously, “You’re not alone, Levi. You have me, Isabel, Hange and Erwin. We’ll find him. I promise.”

“In exchange…” Farlan’s eyes softened and he pleaded, “Please promise me one thing, Levi.”

“Don’t give up.” Farlan whispered, “Not on finding Eren again, not on your future.”

Levi stared at Farlan for a moment before closing his eyes.

He knew Farlan was right.

Eren wouldn’t want him to throw away everything just to find him.

Eren was stupidly nice in that manner.

Even if he did thought Levi didn’t care about him, Eren would have wanted him to be happy.

That’s why…

He sighed and replied, “I promise.”

He’ll do it both.

He’ll find Eren without throwing everything away.

It took two more years for Levi to become an FBI agent. Erwin became an agent a year earlier much to his annoyance.

 

 

 

Two years have passed and yet there was still no clue or sighting of Eren.

Hange had tried all possible social networking sites she could use but there was never an Eren Yeager in any of them.

Almost as if Eren didn’t exist.

But Levi knew Eren exist.

His only picture of Eren was proof of that.

Even when he changed his phone, he transferred that photo to his new phone.

Every night, he would stare at it, stare at Eren’s face.

At first, Levi did it as a way of keeping his determination to find Eren.

Now, Levi stared at it as a reminder.

A reminder of his time with Eren…

A reminder of his happiness…

A reminder of his greatest regret…

He never showed the photo to anyone.

Not even to Isabel…

This photo was his greatest secret, his most precious treasure…

… his Pandora’s box…

That’s why he quickly placed his phone in his pocket when he heard the front door slam open then close before Hange came dashing to the living room where Levi had been relaxing while sitting on the couch. Hange was trying to catch her breath and Levi’s heart ached as he felt a sense of déjà vu. Hange raised her head and a big wide manic grin was plastered on her face. She held her phone as she shouted, “I FOUND HIM!!! I FOUND HIM!!!!!!!”

Hange lunged like a wild cat pouncing at her victim… which turned out to be the couch. She scrambled towards Levi and pressed her side against Levi’s. Levi tried to get away but Hange rested her arm on his Levi, caging him in. She held her phone vertically and pressed the play button.

Levi was about to complain about being so close to the crazy four eyes (she was practically hugging him) when something caught his eyes.

An eye the color of sun and amber and another eye the color of sea and turquoise…

Levi froze and stared at the screen of Hange’s phone.

The scene panned out and Levi’s throat suddenly became dry when he saw **him**.

He was wearing a simple white long sleeved collared shirt and off white pants. He was staring at the camera and he placed his hand in front of him.

That’s when Levi realized that some kind of glass was separating him from the camera.

Then he opened his mouth…

「もうあなたから愛されることも

必要とされることもない」

Eren… was singing…

The words were foreign to Levi but there was an English translation at the bottom.

“I am no longer loved by you

I am no longer needed by you.”

Levi’s eyes widened at those words.

Eren looked so sad as he continued to sing.

“And so I am like this… all alone.”

The video changed into a scene where Eren was standing next to someone inside some kind of courtyard that reminded Levi of old castles. The other person was out of the frame but Levi could see a shoulder and an arm. They seemed to be wearing some kind of brown military-like uniform.

“I wonder what you said that time?

The words that didn’t reach me danced in the air.

Even though I know, I still did it anyway.”

Eren smiled sadly as he continued.

“Praying a wish I know that will never come true.”

Eren grabbed the hand and looked at the other person currently out of frame.

“Don’t let go.”

Eren gripped the hand tightly.

“Hold my hand tightly.

Tell me ‘I’ll keep on going with you’”

Eren smiled softly.

“The hand intertwined with mine was warm

And gentle.”

The scene changed once more and now Eren was sitting on the floor of some kind of room. Another person was behind him, obviously pressing his back against Eren’s. The camera was positioned in a way that all Levi could see was Eren and the other person’s back.

The other person was shorter than Eren.

“You’re always like this.

You’ll make me angry and then I’ll cry in the end.

But afterwards,

You’ll say ‘sorry’ and”

Eren turned around and the camera moved just as the other person turned to face Eren, focusing on Eren’s side view and keeping the other person out of the frame.

Eren smiled softly as he continued to sing.

“I like how your face looked”

Eren wrapped his arms around the other person’s shoulder.

“Don’t let go.

Hold me with all your might.”

Eren moved closer and Levi saw a pair of hands wrap around Eren.

“I want to stay in your arms.”

Eren seemed to have pressed his forehead against the other person’s forehead but Levi couldn’t be sure since the camera was just showing Eren.

“Let’s fall asleep with our forehead

Against one another”

The scene changed once more and Eren was now back in the forest, wearing a green mantle. He was staring at the camera as he sang.

“Did you know that we will never meet again?”

Levi’s heart seemed to have stopped when he saw Eren kneel on the ground and the scene changed so that it seemed as if Eren was holding the person holding the camera in his arms. He was crying as he sang softly.

“Don’t let go.

Hold me. I love you.”

Eren smiled sadly as he continued.

“Won’t you smile for me just one more time?

Before your warmth disappear.”

Eren’s face turned to look heartbroken and sad as he sang.

“Hold me in your arms.”

The video fade to black and showed the following lines.

Departures ~あなたにおくるアイの歌~

オリジナル：エゴイスト

歌ってみて：永恋

Once the video was over, Levi gently pushed Hange off him and got up. Hange hesitantly called out, “Levi?”

She didn’t watch the video beforehand so she had no idea what it was. The moment she saw Eren, she had rushed to find Levi and show it to him.

She didn’t expect Eren to sing such a…

… sad song…

“Not now.” Levi said without looking at Hange. He walked towards his room and closed the door. Once the door was closed, Levi leaned against the door and slid down the floor. He cradled his head on his hands as he closed his eyes.

That kind of sadness…

Levi has seen Eren like that before.

That song…

That song wasn’t for him…

It was for Eren’s Corporal.

The title he always mumbled in his sleep.

And that…

… was so fucking painful.

Because Levi finally remembered one great factor to why he couldn’t make up his mind about Eren.

It was because of that Corporal.

It was because Levi always and still wonders if he meant as much as that Corporal to Eren.

He lost Eren because of his indecisiveness.

And now, he felt as if he lost him completely.

To this mysterious Corporal who still plagued Eren…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuummm… The translation is mine so I’m not entirely sure if it’s absolutely correct XD
> 
> Translation of ending credits:  
> Departures ~あなたにおくるアイの歌~  
> Departures ~Anata ni Okuru Ai no Uta~ (Because ‘Ai’ is written in katakana, it could mean a lot of stuff so this could translate to “A Love Song I’ll Send You” or “A Sad Song I’ll Send You”)  
> オリジナル：エゴイスト  
> Original: Egoist  
> 歌ってみて：永恋  
> Cover (literal translation: I tried to sing): Eren 
> 
> Please take note 永恋 is not how Eren is written in the official manga (it’s written in all katakana エレン)  
> This name was something I came up with using jisho.org and then typing Eren in the English corner. A lot of kanji(s) popped out and this one had the nicest meaning that reflects Eren’s character in this story.  
> 永恋 literally means “long love” but can be loosely translated to “eternal love” (永 is usually seen in words with ‘eternal’/’forever’) as well.
> 
> Fun fact: Every “Eren” in jisho.org is supposedly names you give to a girl. XD
> 
> In other news… next chapter starts the MAIN ARC!!!!


	6. Don’t Pick Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three years have passed and Levi gets a call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter flow isn’t… final… yet (I have an ending, just trying to make the middle part XD) but I assure you the angst part will be lessen in this main arc… kinda…
> 
> **NOTE: Please check the ending notes of the latest chapter of Beyond Duty and Responsibility!!!**
> 
> Warning:   
> 1 unbeta’ed… (do I have to keep saying this?)  
> 2 Fictional TV series for Eren’s career (which is actually based on another LeviEre idea I have… please read the ending notes for more information)  
> 3 Mainly background of Eren’s career

After a week of research, Hange finally managed to get more information about the video. It was uploaded by a college student in Japan who saw the video in one of the Japanese video streaming websites. He thought it was cool so he uploaded the video. When Hange managed to contact him, she learned that the video was taken down three days prior to Hange’s contact. He didn’t know why, only that he received an email from a Japanese talent agency to take down his copy as well.

Levi managed to download the video before it was taken down.

A month later, Hange told him Eren was now an actor for a Japanese talent agency, the same talent agency that asked the video to be taken down.

He went by the name ‘永恋イェーガー’ and quickly grew famous due to his exotic mismatched eyes and acting talent.

It was rare for him to sing though.

Hange tried to find as much information about Eren as she could. Unfortunately, the talent agency had a tight security towards Eren’s address and personal information.

The only information they officially released was Eren’s age, height and weight. They also released the fact that Eren was half-Japanese and half-German.

A TV interview finally answered some of the questions Hange and Levi (and his growing fanbase) had.

The video was a college project of one of his cousin’s friends. The initial idea was for his cousin to be the one to act and sing but she repeatedly turned the offer down. She forced him to do it in her stead and he couldn’t refuse because, apparently, his cousin was freakishly strong and frightening.

Eren came to Japan to help his mother take care of his sick aunt.

Unfortunately, his aunt died a year ago.

He and his mother stayed with his cousin and there was no plan for him to return to the States.

… Levi’s heart ached when he heard those words.

The talent agency contacted his cousin’s friend who gave them his contact number. They talked and he agreed on the condition that he will not be forced to sing.

And he was still single.

Eren’s career grew quickly. He started out as extras for dramas and movies. Before long, he was being casted as a minor character.

His first major break was when he was casted as the love interest of a controversial Japanese movie.

It had been controversial for two reasons.

First, Eren played a high school senior student who was in love with his teacher who loved him back.

Second, said teacher was male.

It was a risky move both for Eren and for his agency.

But it proved to be the correct choice because the movie topped the chart on its first week. It quickly rose to become one of the most profitable movies of the year.

Perhaps it had something to do with Eren’s comment a week before the premiere in one of the variety shows he became a guest in.

“It’s not about the gender. It’s about two persons who fell in love with each other. If their love is true, gender shouldn’t matter.”

Needless to say, Eren’s fanbase quickly grew because of that comment and the movie became a huge success.

Before long, Eren started getting projects left and right.

Each movie, drama, variety shows he was in, whether it was a guest, a minor character or a main character, Levi did everything he could to watch it.

He checked streaming sites.

He joined communities and forums.

Before long, he was ordering DVDs and magazines online.

Hange became his ‘partner-in-crime’.

When work started piling up, Hange picked up the slacks. She downloaded everything even if there was no sub. Sometimes, they were left confused at what the hell was happening but they didn’t care.

She would mail him new items related to Eren and wait for his reply if he wanted to order it or not.

Most of the time, he did order them.

A year later, Levi realized that he was, for a lack of a term, a fucking fanboy.

Their apartment was filled with Eren related items like DVDs, magazines and even figures based on the characters he played in live action movies and dramas with tie-ins to an anime or a manga or a game.

……………

Okay…

He might actually be Eren’s greatest fanboy.

When he told that to Hange, she had laughed and commented that he would be Eren’s Strongest Fanboy.

Levi hit her really hard after that.

… the pillow he used never recovered.

Before long, his obsession of Eren spread to his ‘friends’. Farlan, currently trying to be a surgeon, and Isabel, currently aspiring to be an Elementary teacher, would usually visit once a month if not more. They would meet at Erwin’s apartment and they would watch Eren’s latest drama. Sometimes, Farlan or Isabel would borrow his DVDs. Last time he checked, Isabel had gotten her roommate and most of her friends addicted to Eren’s works as well.

Farlan had once texted him that he and his group mates wasted an entire day just watching Eren’s drama instead of working on their project.

Erwin even got his boyfriend Mike who he met at a bar a few months ago to do a marathon of Eren’s dramas with him.

Sometimes, Hange’s assistant Moblit would stop pestering Hange to work and sit with them to watch Eren’s drama.

Levi didn’t know if his obsession was contagious or if Eren was just that good of an actor.

Eren was a good actor.

Every time he watched Eren, he would forget it was Eren. It would be whatever character he was playing. The lonely high school student who fell in love with his teacher, the delinquent who had a soft spot for cats or the lost prince of a fallen kingdom…

He had a natural talent for acting and his passion and determination to do his character justice shone in both his acting and his interviews.

That’s why it wasn’t really surprising that Eren’s career would become international.

Around June last year, Eren got his first international movie. (This was not counting the times his movies were released worldwide)

It was a supporting role in a thriller mystery movie directed by a famous American director.

He played the mysterious young man who was being chased by a syndicate of some kind. He awed the audience with his acting and proficiency in English, Japanese and German.

Before long, his career slowly transferred to the States where he quickly became a famous actor in movies and TV series.

Just like in Japan, he got a wide range of characters to play but he was usually casted as the love interest that was willing to let go of everything if it means the main character’s happiness or a hot-blooded determined protagonist.

Now that Eren was back, it should have been easier for Levi to contact him.

It should have been…

But it wasn’t.

The main reason why he couldn’t do it when Eren was in Japan was because the agency made sure that Eren’s personal information was secured.

He could have gone to Japan but…

His career got in the way.

The same career that was the main reason why he couldn’t pursue Eren now that he was back…

After graduation, Levi quickly climbed the ranks and became part of Erwin’s elite team in the BAU division of the FBI.

They were in charge of profiling the weirdest, most screwed up criminals. Serial killers, robbers, arsonists and even fucking terrorists… Levi’s team is almost always deployed.

That’s why…

“Levi!!! It's about to start!!!” Hange practically screamed from the living room while Levi was in the kitchen getting two bottles of beer from the refrigerator. Levi quickly grabbed the bowl of popcorn with one hand and held the beers on his other hand before quickly walking back to the living room.

Eren was in the same country as him but he was always too busy. Hange was trying to find a way to contact him but she has yet to get a lucky strike.

So, here he was, stuck watching Eren’s latest TV series on his day off.

He sat next to Hange on the couch, placing the popcorn between them and handing her one of the bottles of beer in his hand. He just got in time for the main character’s best friend to say “Previously on…”

Their eyes were focused on the HDTV (there was no way Levi would watch Eren in a fucking small screen that does him no justice) as Hange asked, “Do you think he's gonna die?”

Levi scoffed and replied, “No way in hell are they killing off his character. A lot of fucking fangirls would rage if he dies.”

Hange grinned as she teased, “And his number one fanboy will most certainly rage as well.”

“Shut up, Hange. It's starting.” Levi ordered when the small recap was finally over.

Eren was a reoccurring character in this series that only appeared this season. The series was about a woman who was part of a secret government branch that deals with supernatural forces. It seemed like a cross of Supernatural, Fringe and X-Files.

… minus the aliens.

In this series, Eren played the mysterious leader of one of the greatest supernatural beings in the series’ universe. Well, he was officially the leader but there was this supposedly council that oversaw everything.

Eren’s character started off as a mysterious third party who mainly observed but quickly became part of the story as a new possible love interest.

Which screwed his character up because…

“I am hunted by my own kind...” Eren glared at the main character from across the room as he hissed, “all because I saved you...”

“Do you regret it?” The main character whispered.

“Regret what?” Eren took a step forward at every word he said, “Saving you? Helping you?”

He stopped right in front of her and leaned forward until his lips was just an inch apart from her as he whispered, “Falling in love with you?”

That’s when Levi’s phone rang.

Hange turned her head to glare at Levi and ordered, “Don't, Levi.”

Levi took out his phone from the front pocket of his slacks as Hange reasoned, “It's your day off! Don't you dare pick up-“

Levi accepted the call and placed the phone by his ear as he greeted, “Magnolia.”

“Oh, you freaking workaholic midg-“

Levi smacked Hange with a nearest pillow before she could finish the sentence and his eyebrows furrowed as he asked, “A what? Does it need to be-“

Levi rubbed his forehead as he listened to the caller’s reply. He sighed and replied, “Fine. I'm on my way.”

“Noooo!!!” Hange wailed as she smacked Levi’s shoulder with a pillow.

Levi got up and glanced at the screen. Eren and the woman were sitting on the floor, back against a counter in the same diner where they were currently hiding. Eren scoffed as he said, “You always do this...”

Eren stared at the floor as he smiled sadly, “You always run away.”

Levi gripped his phone tightly and whispered, “Yeah. I always do.”

Hange stared at Levi sadly as she called out, “Levi...”

“I’ll watch that episode later in Netflix, Hange.” Levi said before walking out of the living room.

Hange hurriedly followed him and ordered, “No. You sit down this instant and-“

“There's been another murder again.” Levi said, hoping that would be enough to stop Hange.

Hange blinked before she commented, “I’m really sorry that someone died and whoever did it should be behind bars but does it have to be you? I know you're part of the FBI but isn't solving that the job of our local police?”

Levi contemplated how much he should say to Hange. He sighed and replied, “I can't really give you any details because of confidentiality and all that shit but...”

Levi grimaced as he said, “Let's just say it's now entered our area of responsibility.”

Hange stared at Levi for a moment before finally sighing in resignation. She nodded and halfheartedly waved her hand as she said, “Fine. Have fun catching the bad guy.”

Levi opened the door just as they hear Eren say, “Have you ever regretted running away?”

Levi walked out and closed the door behind him. He leaned against the door and opened his phone once more. He opened the file manager app and searched for the hidden folder. He opened it and clicked the only picture inside.

Staring at the only picture of Eren he was able to recover five years, he whispered, “Everyday...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. LONG LEVIERE AU IDEA BELOW…
> 
> The TV series Eren was staring in this chapter is part of this LeviEre Actors!AU idea of mine.  
> In a nutshell, Eren is an actor for Reiss Talent Agency. He’s been getting famous and he gets a part in this long running TV show (think maybe Doctor Who long) about a secret government branch that deals with supernatural forces (think Fringe set-up with Supernatural and X-Files monster of the week elements… minus the aliens). 
> 
> The TV show has been going on for decades and it was actually the reason why Eren wanted to be an actor. He first saw the show when the main character being played by Erwin (the show changes main character… but usually the main character stick for a decade or something) but, around Eren was 9, the main character became Erwin’s character’s ‘sidekick’ which was played by a young Levi (around 14-15). And Eren ‘fell in love’ with Levi’s character and Levi’s character was the main reason why Eren wanted to be an actor. He is very much Levi’s biggest fanboy and one of the most passionate fan of Levi’s TV series. (think all DVDs, Blu-rays, magazines, tshirts, promotional videos, etc). 
> 
> So he gets excited to be part of the TV show. The problem is, his agency Reiss Talent Agency is the rival of Levi’s agency, Survey Corps, so he gets ordered to be cool and professional (even though he’s fanboying inside). Of course, Levi gets the feeling Eren is hiding something and that annoys the hell out of him. (Eren is hiding the fact that he pretty much gets a fangasm each time Levi acts… ESPECIALLY when the scene is between the two of them XD)
> 
> In the show, Eren plays the new leader of the Titans, a supernatural being that has been something akin to observers in the TV show since Erwin’s era. It has been hinted that the Titans are the guardian of the balance of the world (and something like angels that fell on Earth). In the current season, Eren’s character is trying to develop a diplomatic relationship with the government which some of the Titans do not want.
> 
> Anyway, Eren is obviously attracted to Levi while Levi is interested (and annoyed by Eren’s secrecy) in Eren and that chemistry is being seen by the staff and the audience. XD  
> Hange’s the main writer of the series (who slowly starts to support pairing Levi’s and Eren’s character). Armin and Mikasa are supportive friends of Eren who are the only people he can gush about his Levi fanboying. Jean is a fellow Reiss actor who is kinda like Eren’s rival. Annie and Krista are fellow Reiss actresses who usually get paired to Eren (Annie and Eren are usually paired in love-hate movies/series while Krista gets paired to him in the whole ‘sweet girl who falls in love with dorky geek or bad boy’… depends on what role Eren is doing.)
> 
> Yeeaaahhh… just wanted to share that idea…
> 
> *whispers*The plot of the TV series could totally be another LeviEre AU fanfic*whispers*


	7. To Be Continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is lucky he has awesome teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> 1 unbeta’ed…  
> 2 Prepare for Eren’s fans (aka: Levi’s fanboying is contagious)

Levi managed to get to FBI HQ in five minutes and in his department in the succeeding three minutes. He was lucky that his and Hange’s apartment was just a five minute ride away from FBI Headquarters.

He bumped into one of his teammates, a young woman named Petra Ral, on his way inside. Petra smiled at him and greeted, “Good afternoon, boss.”

Even if Erwin was officially the leader of their team, his fellow team members still call him by the title ‘boss’ which only amused Erwin.

Petra smiled apologetically as she said, “Sorry you got called on your day-off.”

Levi shrugged and replied as they both went inside, “The life of a public service slave, what can you do?”

Before their conversation could continue, they heard Eld shout at them, “Boss, over here!”

They turned their head and saw Eld, Gunther and Oluo all huddled in Oluo’s cubicle. Petra frowned as she mumbled, “What are they doing now?”

Petra and Levi walked towards Oluo’s cubicle and Petra’s eyes widened once she realized what had gotten the attention of all three men. She smacked Oluo on the shoulder as she hissed, “What the hell, Oluo?!”

“Ssshhh!” Oluo hissed as he waved dismissively at Petra, too preoccupied staring at the monitor where Eren’s current TV series was still on-going.

Thank fucking god for live streams.

Levi immediately leaned closer and asked, “What happened? I only got as far as Eren asking if she regretted running away.”

“Boss!” Petra shouted.

“Give it up, Pet.” Eld grinned as he commented, “Boss is like Eren Yeager's biggest fan. And Oluo wants to be Boss so...”

“You have to admit. He's a good actor.” Gunther commented and shrugged before adding, “I mean, I like his previous TV series before this more but this one has its charm as well.”

Petra groaned, knowing there was no way that she was going to get the three (now four) men away from the monitor and watched as well.

… Besides she was a bit curious at what was going to happen now that Eren’s character was being hunted down.

Oluo hurriedly explained, “Well, she went all bitchy and said she never regretted anything 'cause she never run away. He called her a liar and then they got interrupted by a Minotaur sent by his kin to kill him. They got separated and now...”

“Can't you see? You're blinded by your infatuation for that human!” One of the actors shouted at Eren’s character, obviously the same kind as Eren’s character.

Levi remembered that the actor was playing the character that had always been in opposition to Eren’s character even though he was of lower status.

“Why can't you see that humans aren't that bad?!” Eren shouted, glaring at the five people currently around him. He was breathing heavily as he tried to reason, “Sure, there may be evil among them but there is also evil among us! We're all the same!”

“Don't lump us with those hairy apes!”

Eren growled and shouted, “If you just get that stick out of your god damn ass, you'll see that-“

“SHUT UP! You're a disgrace!!” The people around Eren all took out a long silver double-edged knife as long as Eren’s arm. They pointed their knife at Eren as one of them shouted, “You're not even worth the punishment of exile!!! The punishment for you should be death!!!”

All five of them rushed towards Eren.

“Oh shit, oh shit.” Oluo stared at the monitor as he hissed, “He's gonna die.”

“You don't know that. He's a master, right? A master is a lot stronger than five serfs.” Eld reasoned out.

The kind of Eren’s character could be separated to two categories: the masters who are descendants of the one called First Father and the serfs who are not. The masters are generally faster, stronger and have longer lifespan than their serf counterparts.

“Yeah but he just fought a Minotaur by himself a few minutes ago!” Oluo retorted.

“Look out, look out, look out.” Gunther chanted as one of the serfs slowly comes up behind him.

Eren shouted as he was slashed from behind.

“Oh!” Oluo, Gunther and Eld winced as Eren fell on his knees.

“Get up, come on.” Gunther chanted, “Get up.”

“Behind you, behind you!” Petra shouted, getting caught up in the moment as well.

“Shit. Shit.” Oluo cursed as Eren was grabbed by the hair and thrown to the wall.

Eren screamed as he was stabbed on the shoulder and pinned to the wall. One of the actors glared at him and hissed, “Look at you. This is how far you've fallen. You're a disgrace to our race! To the masters and to the title of our First Father! But enough is enough! Your life ends here!!!”

The screen suddenly faded to black and the words “To Be Continued” appeared.

“NOOOO!!!” Everyone except Levi screamed.

That’s when they all heard someone clearing their throat behind them. They turned around and saw Erwin staring at them. Everyone except Levi saluted and greeted, “Good afternoon, sir!”

Erwin raised an eyebrow and asked in a slightly teasing manner, “If you're all done cheering for Eren, can we all go to the meeting room and start?”

“Yes, sir!” They replied and began following Erwin to the meeting room. Levi followed them as well, walking right next to Erwin in silence.

Or it was supposed to be in silence but then Oluo whispered, “Fuck, they're gonna kill him in the next episode.”

Eld glared at Oluo and hissed, “We don’t know that yet.”

Gunther frowned as he whispered back, “Isn't the next episode the season finale? They might actually do that.”

“Or worse.” Petra mumbled.

Oluo glared at Petra as he asked, “What could be worse than getting killed in the season finale?”

Petra rolled her eyes and retorted, “Cutting the episode right before he dies so we all don't know if he survived or not. We'll have to wait for another year just to find out!”

They all fell silent for a moment, letting Petra’s words sink in before Gunther whispered, “Okay. That is worse.”

All four of them were surprised when Erwin commented, “They're not going to kill Eren's character because that would be a bad marketing move. Eren's character is everyone's favorite at the moment.”

Erwin smirked as he added, “Although, killing him off would be a nice plot twist.”

Petra and the others fell silent after that comment, too stunned that their own leader was an avid watcher of Eren’s works…

… which made perfect sense since he was one of Levi’s closest friend and all of Levi’s closest friends were avid fans of Eren.

Erwin opened the door leading to the meeting room and went inside. Erwin sat on one of the chairs in the middle of the room and said, “Go on and take a sit, all of you.”

He turned his attention towards the young woman holding the remote and said, “Nifa, please start.”

Everyone sat around the round table as Nifa started, clicking the remote and a picture of a young man with dark brown hair and green eyes was projected to the large monitor hanging on the wall in front of everyone, “Last January, Glenn Lee was found in a park with a gunshot wound supposedly self-inflicted to his right temple.”

Nifa clicked the remote once more and the monitor should a picture of Glenn lying on a chair with a gun in his hand. Next to that photo was another photo of a piece of letter, “On his hand was a small piece of paper that said "please forget about me".”

The screen changed once more to another man with dark brown hair and green eyes and another photo of the same man lying on the ground as Nifa continued, “Seven months ago, Michael Anderson was found in an alley, two blocks from his apartment building, stabbed sixteen times.”

Levi flinched and Erwin stared at him.

Nifa clicked the remote once more to show another man with the same hair and eye color as the previous two victims and said, “Six months ago, Raphael Moore was found in an abandoned school. He was-“

“Hit over by a car?” Levi asked, causing Nifa to stop and stare at him with surprised wide eyes.

“Yes.” Erwin nodded and grabbed the folder in front of him. He took out three pictures and placed them in front of Levi. All of them were young men with dark brown hair and green eyes. He pointed at them as he asked, “These are three more victims. Mind guessing how they all die?”

“The next one...” Levi frowned as he said, “… drowned, around four months ago. Then the next victim was stabbed as well, happened two months ago...”

Levi glared at Erwin as he finished, “The last victim should be... decapitated...”

“You're correct on all of them.” Erwin nodded and asked with a blank expression, “What connects all of them?”

“Eren...” Levi mumbled, staring at the three photos.

Everyone except Erwin stared at Levi with confused looks. Nifa, on the other hand, seemed more surprised than confused.

Levi glared at Erwin as he clarified, “They died the same way Eren's character died in their respective series or movie since last year.”

Erwin nodded and said, “That's right.”

Erwin stood and grabbed the remote from Nifa. He skipped the next three slides and stopped on a slide with a photo comparison of the first victim and a scene from one of Eren’s movie as he explained, “The first victim died the same way Eren's character committed suicide after his boyfriend went back to his ex-wife in that controversial romantic drama movie ten months ago. Eren's character left that note for his ex-boyfriend.”

Erwin clicked the remote once more and showed a comparison of the second victim and the death scene of Eren’s character from a TV movie, “The next victim died the same way Eren's character was sacrificed in the TV movie that aired seven months ago.”

For each victim, Erwin clicked the remote and showed a comparison of the victim’s death and the death scene of Eren’s character, “The next victim died the same way Eren's character was hit over a car in that TV series he was a guest in six months ago. The setting of that TV series was a school so we know that the Unsub purposely hit the victim and carried him to an abandoned school, the same way Eren's character was carried by the main character back to their school in an attempt to save him. The next time Eren's character died was four months ago where he was a regular cast of a TV series that aired every Wednesday night. His character drowned. Then he starred in a hit TV series for a few episodes and his character was stabbed while trying to save the main character. This happened two months ago. And yesterday...”

Levi glared at the final comparison on the screen as he completed, “... was the premiere of Eren's new movie.”

Erwin smirked as he said in a teasing manner, “And, of course, you would know how he died in that movie. You left work early to catch the premiere showing.”

Levi sighed and rubbed his eyes as he said, “He gets fucking decapitated in the end because he's such a shitty good guy.”

Erwin rolled his eyes and said, “Thank you for that spoiler. I was planning on watching it next Saturday with Mike.”

Erwin clicked the remote once more and the screen showed all of the victims as he said, “This Unsub has a particular specific... victimology.”

Petra frowned as she commented, “The Unsub isn't targeting anyone specifically. The unsub... wants to kill the same way the actor Eren Yeager's character dies...”

Oluo tapped the table as he asked, “Sooo... we're looking for a very batshit crazy fan?”

“But there's one thing I don't get.” Eld said, frowning as he asked, “How did the local police realize they have a serial killer on the loose? How did WE realize the pattern? I mean, I get Boss getting the pattern, he's Eren Yeager's biggest fan but-“

“There was another pattern.” Erwin clicked the remote and the screen showed the back of all of the victims. Erwin pointed at the neck of one of the victims and said, “After killing them the way Eren’s character died, the Unsub cut off the nape of their neck.”

“Even the last victim?” Gunther asked for clarification and Erwin nodded. Gunther frowned as he commented, “But the Unsub already decapitated him!”

“His signature, perhaps?” Petra mused out loud.

“Concerning the pattern with Eren…” Erwin’s expression became grave as he connected, “The local police got complaints from Eren's manager of very alarming... gifts.”

Levi’s eyes widened and he hissed, “Fuck. The Unsub sent him souvenirs?”

Erwin nodded and said, “Yes. We asked that they look as far back as two years ago for any more gifts but what alarmed them was this.”

Erwin clicked the remote once more and everyone’s eyes widened at the picture on the screen.

“Holy shit.” Oluo mumbled, unable to hide his surprise.

“A head? The Unsub sent him the HEAD?!” Petra shouted.

The screen showed a picture of the last victim’s head on the table with a golden crown placed on top of the head. The table was littered with pieces of paper with one word written in them.

“The golden crown...” Levi stared at the golden crown as he commented, “It's a very accurate replica of the golden crown Eren's character wore during his execution. This amount of deta-“

Levi stopped as he read the word written on the pieces of paper.

‘Monster’.

That… made no sense.

Eren’s character was not considered a monster in that movie. He was a martyr from start to end.

Levi’s musing came to a halt when Nifa placed a broken watch inside an evidence bag on the table, “Two months ago, this was sent to Eren Yeager's current address.”

The clock stopped at 6:18.

“His character died at exactly 6:18 pm in that TV series. But that was the main character's watch which got broken because of their fall...” Levi inspected the watch and commented, “This looks nothing like that watch.”

“We found out that this watch was the victim's. And...” Erwin frowned as he added, “The victim died around 6 pm.”

Oluo rubbed the back of his neck and he mumbled, “Now that's just fucked up.”

“Last night, this head was left in Eren's dining table.” Erwin glared at the screen as he said, “The Unsub is escalating. The watch was left on his front door but this head...”

Erwin turned his head to stare at Levi as he said, “the Unsub had gotten inside and left it there.”

Levi’s hands clenched to fists.

“Then Eren Yeager is in serious trouble. He's the Unsub endgame. All of these victims are just a stepping stone to him.” Petra said.

Gunther nodded and suggested, “The Unsub already entered his apartment. He might be nearing his endgame already. We should prioritize Eren Yeager’s safety first.”

Erwin nodded and replied, “I agree. And that is why we're going to go meet with Eren right now.”

Everyone’s eyes widened at Erwin’s proclamation. Oluo was the first one to recover and he shouted excitedly, “Holy shit! We're going to meet Eren Yeager?! Crap, I gotta find a nice piece of paper to get his autograph!”

Gunther grinned as he asked, “You think he'll be cool with taking a picture with us?”

Eld chuckled as he took out his phone while reprimanding his team members, “Remember, guys. We're going there to work so act a little bit professional. “

Petra, who had been sitting next to Eld, rolled her eyes and retorted, “Eld, that's not really convincing when you're texting to your fiancée that you're going to meet Eren Yeager in all caps.”

“Erwin…” Levi whispered, staring at Erwin with an expression similar to a convict being sent to his death sentence.

“You're going.” Erwin placed the remote on the table and stared at Levi as he said, “You're taking point in this, Levi. “

Levi remained silent at those words. Erwin got up and patted Levi on the shoulder as he whispered, “Don’t waste this chance.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys know what this means? Next chapter is the long awaited reunion scene!!! (which I may or may not be able to write since my flight was moved to Saturday XD)


	8. It's nice seeing you again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's most awaited reunion scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miss me?
> 
> Weeellll... work's more taxing than usual (Japanese is painful when it's technical terms and there's no professional translator around (´；Д；｀) )
> 
> Anyway, more notes/announcement at the end notes.
> 
> Warning:  
> 1 unbeta'ed  
> 2 EREEEEEEEENNNN YEEEEEAAAGGGEEERRR  
> 3 Please don't get your hopes up.

Eren's apartment complex turned out to be a three storey old building in the edge of town proper. While it wasn't exactly the type of apartment one would see a well known actor live in, it was a two hour by car away from the shadier part of the city.

Oluo hissed as they got off the car, "He lives in this shithole?"

The apartment complex was styled in such a way that there was no lobby and one could go to the second floor by using the stairs to the left end of the building. Each apartment had a door facing the highway and a balcony on the other side.

Erwin began walking as he explained, "Officially, his agency says he lives in a nice apartment complex with his manager in the middle of town. In reality, the people who lives there are his manager and his manager's boyfriend."

Levi quickly followed behind him, his heart beating too fast for his own liking. The idea of Eren living in such a place made his blood boil.

Eren deserved to live in a nice cozy apartment, not in a shithole like this.

Why the hell was he-

"And he lives here?" Gunther couldn't help the slightly high pitched tone of his voice as he tried to get over the fact that a famous actor was staying in a building which looked like it was ready to crumble if an earthquake happened.

Gunther's question forced a halt to Levi's thoughts. He quickly glanced behind him to check everyone's position. Next to him was Petra while Gunther was right behind both of them. Behind Gunther were Oluo and Eld. Levi returned his attention to Erwin who was in front of him.

Erwin shrugged and reasoned, "What better way to keep away from the paparazzi than here?"

Erwin began towards the stairs, "He's in 202."

Levi's eyebrow twitched when the metal stairs started creaking under their weight.

"At least he isn't in the third floor." Eld whispered.

"Thank god for the small miracles." Oluo whispered back, "I don't know if he's humble or just a plain cheap bastard."

Levi turned his head to glare at Oluo.

The glare made Oluo gulp and shut his mouth immediately.

"Are you excited?" Petra asked Levi, obviously trying to change the topic before he decided to beat Oluo out of misguided annoyance, "To finally meet your favorite actor?"

"I'm fucking petrified." Levi hissed.

"Eh?" Petra's confusion was written all over her face but Levi did not bother to explain himself.

While everyone in their department knew he was a fan of Eren, the only person who knew of their past together was Erwin.

And, the truth was, he wanted to run as far as possible away from this place. It all seemed surreal. Just a few days ago, he was drowning himself on a bottle of Jack with Farlan, talking about how much he wanted to see Eren in person already but, here he was, about to meet him again and all he wants to do was run as far away as possible.

Too many questions were swimming in his head.

What if Eren was angry at him?

What if Eren was bitter about what happened five years ago?

What if Eren found someone else?

What if...

... Eren didn't care anymore?

That was the most painful and frightening possibility of all.

The idea that Eren didn't care about him anymore, the idea that he didn't hold any feelings for him, not even hatred or bitterness, was painful to think about.

It meant Levi wasn't worth it.

It meant-

Erwin's chuckle stopped Levi's depressing thoughts. Erwin turned his head to look at him and smirked as he teased, "You reap what you sow, Levi."

Levi's chest ached. He knew that Erwin meant no malice by that teasing jab but it had hurt more than Levi wanted it to.

It was true, wasn't it?

All of his anxiety and fear were because of his mistake.

All of these was happening because he had let Eren go five years ago.

Noticing Erwin started to look concern, Levi mustered all of his strength to glare at him and hissed, "Keep talking and I'll reap your fucking dick off."

Petra looked scandalous as she shouted, "Boss!"

Levi relaxed when he heard Erwin chuckle softly.

There was no need to worry Erwin any further.

Erwin knocked on the door with the number 202 plastered above the peephole. Right next to it was a button obviously for the doorbell but there was a paper tapped to it that said 'do not press'.

Levi took a deep breath and tried to calm himself.

He made a mistake five years ago.

And now...

He could finally atone for that mistake.

"Yes?" An unfamiliar male voice asked from the other side of the door.

Levi's chest ached once more.

There was somebody else...?

Erwin took out his ID and showed it to the peephole, "Erwin Smith. FBI. We're hear to talk about-"

"Oh yes! Yes! We've been waiting for you!"

The door creaked opened, making Levi winced at the sound.

On the other side of the door was a young man with black hair and a charming friendly smile that lit up his entire face. The freckles all over his cheeks only made him look more adorable and nice.

If this was a cliche romantic soap opera, he would be the nice guy next door who deserved the main character most.

Compared to him, Levi probably looked like the final boss of an rpg game.

... or an overly worked employee better fit to be the main character's grumpy older brother rather than the prime love interest.

Freckled guy stepped to the side and said, "Please come in."

Everyone went in and stood in a narrow hallway leading to another door. In the middle of the hallway was a small corner with a door. The door was slightly open and Levi could make the shape of a toilet and sink.

Perhaps it was the bathroom?

The freckled man smiled and offered his hand to Erwin as he introduced himself, "I'm Marco Boldt, Eren's manager."

Levi couldn't help but feel relieved at Marco's words. He was just Eren's manager.

Erwin took his hand and shook it as he introduced himself, "Erwin Smith. And these-"

"Ah. Let's do that later with Eren." Marco cut him off with a smile. He rubbed the back of his head as he said, "This way you don't have to introduce everyone twice."

He's also fucking considerate.

Is this guy an angel?

"But..." Marco smiled apologetically as he added, "I would like to see everyone's ID. To be sure..."

Everyone showed their FBI ID to Marco. Once that was done, Marco finally opened the door at the end of the hallway and went in. Everyone followed him to a medium size room with a table and two chairs on one end and a single bed on the other side.

Levi realized that the table was the same table where the head had been perched to in the picture they saw back in their meeting room.

There was a small cabinet next to the bed and a bedside lamp by the foot of the bed.

One wall had a small window which was currently covered by dark blue curtains. Next to the window was an airconditioning unit which was currently set to fan mode.

Other than those furnitures, the room was bare of pictures or any items which could describe whoever was living in the room.

It was also clean.

Too clean...

As if the one who cleaned it couldn't stand it to be dirty.

Now that Levi thought about it, Eren was tidy and very neat 5 years back. He didn't seem to notice it and did the cleaning and tidying up like it was second nature to him.

Then...

Levi froze when he finally saw him.

He had his back turned, ear pressed against his phone. He was sitting on the floor next o the bed, leaning his left side towards the bed. He had his knees propped in front of him with his chin resting on his left knee.

Eren didn't even notice them as he continued his conversation with the other person on the line. He sighed and said, "大丈夫だって。ミカサ、来なくっていい。オレは子どもじゃねえよ。"

Marco smiled sheepishly at them and apologized, "Sorry. He's talking to his cousin. Nice lady, kinda overprotective."

Levi remembered Eren talking about her fondly.

His annoying older sister, he would always call her with a soft fond smile on his face...

"Mikasa..." Levi said, remembering the girl's name.

The same woman who called Eren that day with the news about his aunt...

Marco was surprised at Levi's word and asked, "Yeah. How did you know?"

Levi couldn't reply to Marco because he froze. Eren had stopped talking and had turned around, as if Levi's voice had called him.

They stared at each other, not paying attention to the conversation between Levi's team and Eren's manager.

"エレン? エレン? エレン?"

The worried tone of the woman on the other line caused Eren to bring the phone back to his ear but he still did not stop staring at Levi.

Eren's voice was soft as he said, "ごめん、ミカサ。まった電話するは"　

Eren didn't bother to wait for her reply and immediately ended the call. He stood and placed his phone in the front left pocket of his jeans.

Levi wanted to laugh at their current situation.

Eren was wearing the same teal colored long sleeve shirt and tight jeans he wore the day they first met. His hair was the same, his eyes were...

They were the same mismatched colors as they had been five years ago.

But the emotions behind them were different.

Five years ago, they had looked at Levi with a glaze distracted look.

Now they looked at him with a sad glass-like look.

"Eren! These people are from the FBI and they-"

"You're wearing a suit." Eren cut Marco off as he stared at Levi.

"FBI regulations." Levi replied, wondering how the fuck he was able to say those lines with such a nonchalant voice when his heart was beating so fast he wouldn't be surprised if it was going to explode. His throat felt dry and he could feel his hands slightly shaking.

He wanted to turn around and run as fast as his legs could carry him out of the room.

He wanted to grab him and pull him into his arms.

But he could not do either of them because of the sad soft smile on Eren's face.

He couldn't even decipher what that smile meant.

Eren's soft chuckle made his heart beat, "It... suits you..."

He wanted to say how he missed him.

"Thanks." Levi said instead.

Eren rubbed his left ring finger which only made Levi's chest ache. Eren's left ring finger looked so... empty...

"I..." Eren stopped and stared at Levi for a moment before he smiled sadly and shook his head. He forced a happy smile and said instead, "It's nice seeing you again, Levi."

Levi wanted to scream at him, to beg for his forgiveness but all he was able to do was look at Eren with a pair of sorrowful eyes as he whispered, "You... too."

"You know each other?!!" Petra couldn't help but shout her question out of surprise. Everyone but Erwin were still surprised over the fact that Levi and Eren were talking with such familiarity.

Erwin looked at Levi with soft concerned eyes before turning his attention towards Eren as he explained, "Levi and Eren... go way back."

He noticed how Eren had tensed at the sound of his voice and how Eren's eyes had hardened to a slightly guarded stare. If it hadn't been such an emotionally taxing situation, Erwin would have chuckled at how the two had forgotten about everyone else.

He smiled softly at Eren and said in a calming tone, trying not to scare the young man, "It's nice seeing you again, Eren."

Eren's eyes were swirling with conflicted emotions that immediately returned to their guarded look as he turned his gaze towards Erwin, "It's nice seeing you too, Erwin..."

Eren forced a smile as he asked in a slightly hesitant tone, "So... you two, huh?"

"No!" Levi immediately shouted, surprising everyone. He stared at Eren with panicked grey eyes as he tried to form the correct words, "We're... we..."

'We weren't together'?

'We have never been together'?

Levi didn't know what he wanted to say.

Did he want to clear that lie five years ago?

Or did he want to confess more?

About his fear?

His regret?

His pain?

There were so many things he wanted to tell Eren.

But he was too flustered and panicked so everything was just one big mess inside his head.

Seemingly understanding Levi's current predicament, Erwin placed his hand on Levi's back as an effort to calm him down as he said to Eren with a charming smile, "Levi is the best man to my wedding next year."

"Oh." Eren instinctively said before blinking twice. His eyes widened as he repeated in a surprised one, "Oh?"

"Yes."Erwin confirmed with a nod in an attempt to indirectly make Eren realize that he wasn't a threat.

... not that Erwin was an actual threat five years ago anyway...

"You're invited, of course." Erwin added, patting Levi's back lightly before dropping his hand.

"Huh?" Eren seemed surprised by Erwin's invitation. He rubbed his left ring finger once more before replying, "Um... thank you...?"

Erwin placed his hands behind his back as he said, "Now then. Let's have a nice long chat after all of these are settled and over, shall we?"

Eren nodded and Erwin quickly introduced everyone, "This is our team. I am the team leader and Levi is my second in command."

Levi was mildly surprised by the soft smile that appeared on Eren's lips for a moment.

He had seen Eren do that a lot of times five years ago. It was usually whenever someone do something he explained that reminded him of something.

"These are Eld, Gunther, Oluo and Petra." Erwin quickly introduced and Levi notice Eren's eyes looked a bit sad.

Why...?

"I won't bore you with the details of the murders so, in summary, there's a serial killer on the loose and the unsub's target is you." Erwin explained, causing Marco to gulp.

Instead of being frightened, Eren narrowed his eyes and asked in a low tone, "This bastard's killing people the same way my characters die. Why won't he just cut to the chase and kill me?"

Marco worriedly shouted, "Eren!"

Everyone else were also surprised by the quiet rage in Eren's eyes. Levi was more surprised by the implication of Eren's question.

He wasn't afraid of the killer.

He was angry that the killer wasn't targeting him, instead killing innocent people.

Almost as if...

... He wanted the killer to attack him instead.

As if his life wasn't...

"We think it's because you're the endgame. Everyone else is practice. And this unsub is getting closer. And the unsub knows you live here. The head was placed on that dining table over there." Erwin explained, seemingly unfazed by Eren's reaction.

"Then I'm the perfect bait." Eren concluded. He placed his fist over his chest and suggested, "Then use me."

"No!" Levi shouted, stepping towards Eren. Everyone was momentarily stunned by his outburst and could only stare at Levi.

... even Levi was surprised by his own actions.

Erwin was the first to recover. He turned towards Eren and explained, "Levi is right. While it is true that you're the perfect bait, you're a civilian. We can't put you in any danger. We want to capture this unsub before another victim shows up but we also want to protect you. That's why... we want to keep you in a safe place with 24 hours security."

Eren turned his eyes to stare at Erwin as he asked, "A safe house?"

"Not... exactly." Erwin replied vaguely and added, "But you will be safe there. I made sure of it."

"Okay." Eren smiled softly as he said, "I trust you."

Levi was surprised by those words and, if the way Erwin's calm demeanor slightly cracked for a second, even he was surprised by them.

Eren either didn't notice or didn't care as he rubbed the back of his neck while commenting, "So some people will have to babysit me."

Marco nodded and added, "And he can't exactly disappear from the face of the planet. He has interviews and shooting and-"

Erwin nodded towards Marco and replied calmly, "We understand. And we must keep Eren's involvement in this investigation as a secret. We must not let the unsub know that we know of Eren. That's why..."

Erwin patted Levi's back once before he announced, "Levi, Oluo and Petra would go undercover as your bodyguards."

WHAT?!!

Levi was too surprised to even say that word out loud. He saw Eren's eyes widened for a moment before they returned to that guarded stare once more.

Erwin smiled as he asked, "That wouldn't be a problem, right?"

Eren turned his stare towards Levi, his eyes softening once more. He turned his gaze towards the floor as he rubbed his ring finger, "No... No, it isn't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all know a lot of us have been wanting go say Erwin's line since the prequel XD
> 
> Translation time:
> 
> "大丈夫だって。ミカサ、来なくっていい。オレは子どもじゃねえよ。" - "I'm telling you I'm fine. You don't have to come here, Mikasa. I'm not a child."
> 
> "エレン? エレン? エレン?" - "Eren? Eren? Eren?"
> 
> "ごめん、ミカサ。まった電話するは"　 - "Sorry, Mikasa. I'll call again."
> 
>  
> 
> Announcement:
> 
> Due to work, updates will be every other week now. 
> 
> To be more specific, one fanfic will be updated per week. This week is My Greatest Regret 'cause it had the more... painful cliffhanger (who am I kidding. This is a cliffie as well XD)
> 
> Next week will be an update for Beyond Duty and Responsibility... hopefully (not sure due to work (T^T) )


	9. Safe House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi needs a bit more push

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's kinda late. Last week's been busy both for work and socially. (╥ω╥`)
> 
> Warning:
> 
> 1 Unbeta'ed as usual  
> 2 Uuuhh... Levi and Eren are talking... at least...?  
> 3 More hesitation on Levi's part

Eren was a cooperative civilian. Even before they came in, it seemed he had already packed his things so it was just a matter of him grabbing the duffel bag inside the closet then they just had to wait for a few minutes for Eren to wear a dark brown wig that ended by his cheek. The long locks of the wig covered his amber eye as well. Levi's breath hitched when he saw Eren in that wig. There was something familiar about how the wig looked on Eren.

Something... feral...

He didn't have time to drown in his thoughts since they were already walking out of the small apartment.

They went down and Erwin introduced Nifa, the last member of their team who volunteered to watch over the cars.

They had arrived in two cars and prepared to leave with both cars. The first car would go in front and would be driven by Gunther. Nifa wold be sitting in the passenger's sit wile Oluo, Erwin and Eld would be sitting at the back.

The second car would be following the first car since only Erwin knew where the safe house was located at. Petra would be the driver while Levi would sit in the passenger's sit while Eren and Marco would sit at the back.

The car ride was quiet with the car's smooth engine and Marco's voice being the only sounds.

"I managed to adjust your schedule for today so you would have time to get used to this safe house they have for you." Marco frowned slightly and looked apologetic as he continued, "But tomorrow, you have a shooting from 7 am to 10 am then a photoshoot from 11:30 to 4:00 pm, followed by a tv appearance at 5 pm... and another shooting from 7pm to 4am."

Levi, not being a stranger to all nighters and weird-ass schedules sill had to grimace at Eren's schedule.

"I'm sorry, Eren." Marco apologized and continued, "Maybe I can push the photoshoot to a later-"

"It's okay, Marco. Altering my schedule might look suspicious." Eren commented as he stared at his phone. He raised his head to look at Marco and asked, "... how about this Saturday?"

"Uumm..." Marco looked surprised at the question and he stared at his phone, looking at Eren's schedule for that day, "Nothing definitive yet but you do have a shooting from 3 am to 11 am..."

"Can you keep 11 am to 2 pm open that day? Daz and the others want to hang out that day." Eren asked with a soft smile.

"Your college friends, right? Sure. I'll do something about it." Marco replied with a smile.

"Thanks, Marco. You're an angel." Eren grinned as he added, "That Horseface does not deserve you at all."

Marco blushed and replied, "You really have to stop teasing Jean about that."

"Ah!" Marco slightly pouted as he turned to look at Levi and Petra. He looked slightly panicky as he asked, "But would that be alright with you if Eren met with his friends?"

Levi stared at Eren through the rearview mirror as he asked, "Daz' the crybaby, right?"

Eren chuckled at Levi's description and leaned towards the passenger's sit, chest pressed against the back of the chair and his face right next to Levi's as he replied, "Yup. I talked about them, right?"

Levi's chest clenched painfully as he replied cooly, "Briefly... I suppose the others would be... Thomas the leader, Mylius the wise guy, Nac the nice guy, Mina the hyperactive girl and... those lovebirds?"

"Hannah and Franz." Eren added and laughed. He grinned as he said, "I can't believe you still remember that. I only talked about them like once or twice."

Levi looked at the window as he replied, "And you never said their full name."

That's why he couldn't try and find them in an attempt to find Eren five years ago...

"Huh?" Eren thought about it for a moment before nodding, "Oh, yeah. I guess, I never did."

Eren leaned further and looked at Levi with puppy dog eyes as he asked, "Anyway, can I go? Please?"

Petra couldn't help but gulp at how cute Eren was but kept her eyes on the road.

Levi stared at Eren using the rearview mirror before looking out in the window again as he said, "I'll talk to Erwin about it. You do need to act as normal as possible."

Eren grinned and replied, "Thanks, Levi."

Petra couldn't help but be surprised at Levi's words. She had assumed Levi would say no since it was too risky.

After that, they all grew silent with Petra focused on following Erwin's car, Eren and Levi deciding to stare outside while Marco was rearranging and confirming Eren's schedule.

A few minutes later...

"Levi..." Eren frowned as he tried to get Levi's attention.

Levi turned to look at the rearview mirror, internally grateful for the distraction since he was slowly descending to his annoying 'what ifs' and the many ways he can screw this chance, "Yeah?"

"Does this street look familiar to you?" Eren asked with a slight hesitation on his voice.

Levi looked in front of him and finally notices where they were going. His eyes narrowed as he growled, "Shit. You have to be fucking kidding me."

"Boss?" Petra called out, worried at Levi's sudden change of tone. She followed Erwin's car to an underground parking. Once she parked the car, Levi immediately got out and rushed towards Erwin.

"Tell me you're joking or, so help me, Erwin, I might just punch that Captain America face of yours." Levi hissed as he glared at Erwin.

"I've talked to Hange and we've made all the necessary actions in ensuring the security of your apartment." Erwin replied calmly, obviously not worried about Levi's threat.

"Wait." Oluo frowned as he asked, "The safe house is Boss' apartment?"

"It's safer than Eren's current apartment and Marco's apartment. And it will not raise suspicion even if the media finds out Eren is staying here." Erwin turned to look at Eren who was simply staring at him while holding his duffel bag with one hand.

"Even if they find out, you can say you're staying with an old..." Erwin turned his head to look at his seething second-in-command as he continued in a slightly sarcastic tone, "... friend."

Levi didn't notice Eren flinch at that word and how his only visible turquoise eye glared at Erwin.

"Erwin-" Levi hissed but Erwin's cold blue eyes silenced him.

"This is non-negotiable, Levi. Punch me or not, Eren is staying in your apartment. Now, come along." Erwin ordered and began walking towards the elevator.

Levi's team followed Erwin. Marco turned to look at Eren who simply nodded, slightly telling his manager to follow them. Marco nodded and followed the rest of the team.

Levi continued to glare at Erwin as Eren called out, "Levi..."

Levi turned to look at Eren and Eren gripped his duffel bag tightly as he said, "If you have a plan and want to leave, I'll follow you."

Levi scoffed and asked, "What happened to the whole 'I trust you' speech you said to Erwin?"

"I do trust him but..." Eren smiled softly as he whispered, "I trust you most."

Levi's chest ached at those words.

Why?

Why would Eren trust someone like him?

He had hurt him five years ago.

He had let him go five years ago.

Why would he still...

Levi sighed and said, "Unfortunately, as much as I want to fucking punch that Captain America face of him right now, I trust him. He knows what he's doing..."

Levi grabbed Eren's duffel bag and pulled it away from Eren's grasp. He turned around and said, "Come on, brat. Let's get your shit inside."

"Yes, sir." Eren replied as he followed Levi.

Levi turned to glare at Eren and saw the cocky grin Eren had. Levi scoffed and ordered, "Don't get cheeky with me, brat."

Eren chuckled and asked in a teasing manner, "Is that an order... sir?"

Levi didn't have the time to reply since they already reached the elevator where Erwin and the others were waiting for them.

Eren's slight teasing helped calmed him down a bit.

... he stil wanted to punch Erwin though...

It was definitely an awkward elevator ride and it couldn't end any sooner. Levi was still annoyed at Erwin which made everyone else feel awkward being in the same small confined space as the two of them. Eren seemed unaffected though.

He stood behind Levi, staring straight ahead.

Which... actually comforted Levi...

Almost everyone sighed in relief when the elevator chimed and opened. Levi got out of the elevator first, followed closely by Eren. Marco scrambled to follow Eren and Erwin sighed. He got out of the elevator and followed the three.

The rest of the team followed them as well.

When they got to Levi's apartment, they were greeted by the sight of Levi silently watching Eren intently as the actor looked around as the living room, "This place... hasn't changed that much, huh."

Eren grinned as he added "Hey! You got a new tv!"

Eren stared at the huge 60 inch HDTV as he commented in awe, "Man, this tv's so huge..."

"Of course! There's no way in hell we're going to watch our favorite actor in a small ass tv." Eren turned around to where the voice originated from.

Eren grinned as he greeted, "Hange!!"

"EREN!!" Hange shouted as she rushed towards the actor. She jumped and wrapped her arms around Eren, forcing him to take a few steps back as he chuckled. He wrapped his arms around Hange as well as Hange whispered, "You still smell the same!"

Eren laughed as he commented, "And that comment is still as creepy as hell."

Hange crackled like a mad woman before stepping away. She raised an eyebrow when she noticed Eren's wig, "Nice hair by the way."

Eren chuckled and took off his wig as he said, "I borrowed it from Assault on Giant set."

Hange gasped as she maniacally said, "I love that movie! You look so good as the giant shifter fighting for Humanity! The final movie's showing next week, right? Man. So hard to believe the first part showed just a year ago..."

Eren nodded and replied, "Yup. Assault on Giant, final part: Last Stand of Humanity. I could get you premiere tickets if you want."

"Really?!"

Eren chuckled and nodded as he said, "The author's a good friend of mine. Pretty sure he can help me persuade some people to give me more tickets than usual."

"I would love to! Oh! But you have to get one for me, Moblit, Erwin, Mike, Farlan, Isabel and Levi."

Eren raised an eyebrow as he commented, "Wow. That's a lot of people."

Hange crackled once more as she said, "That's 'cause you're our favorite actor."

She grabbed Eren's cheeks lightly and said in a soft happy tone, "Come here. Let me get a good look at you. Awww, there they are. My most favorite pair of eyes. You know, even an HD TV does not do justice to these bright eyes of yours."

Eren chuckled once more before looking at the side as he reminded her, "Stop. You know how I feel about my eyes."

"Oh come on. They're so pretty. You look like you have the sea and the sun in your eyes." Hange replied, smiling at Eren.

"It's not..." Eren sighed in resignation and shook his head as he asked instead, "So, how are you? Are you a researcher now?"

Hange grinned as she replied, "Yup. Head researcher of the Genetic division of Saint Maria Research Facility."

Eren grinned back as he said, "Good for you!"

Hange chuckled and sighed as she backed away from Eren. She smiled at she said, "Well now. As much as I wanna stay and chat with you some more, I know I have to go now and let you guys do your job and all that stuff. I'm going to stay at Erwin's while this thing's going on so you're free to use my room. Don't worry. I cleaned up."

Eren grinned when he noticed Levi glared at her. Hange stuck her tongue out at Levi before continuing, "And..."

Hange gently grabbed Eren's hand and and placed a piece of paper in his palm, "This is my phone number, my skype name and my email address. You better send me a message everyday."

Eren smiled softly and nodded, "I will."

Hange placed her hands on Eren's cheeks and whispered, "Don't be a stranger, okay?"

Eren smiled softly and whispered, "Okay."

Hange kissed Eren's forehead and said softy, "I'll see you later."

"Not if I see you first." Eren replied with a playful grin.

Hange grinned as well and patted Eren's shoulder before walking towards Levi, "Levi, can you be a dear and escort me to my jeep?"

Levi glared at her but sighed as he dropped the duffel bag on the floor, "Fine. Eren..."

The words left a bitter aftertaste as he said them, "Go and unpack..."

If he had just gotten his shit together five years ago, there would be no reason for Eren to pack in the first place...

Eren smiled softly and nodded, "Okay."

Levi didn't bother to say anything to the others as they passed them but he did growl when he noticed the small smirk Erwin gave Hange who grinned like a mad Chesire cat.

Both of them were quiet until they were inside the elevator going down. When they were just two floors away from the underground parking, Hange finally spoke, "Don't mess this up this time, Levi."

"I know." Levi hissed, rubbing his forehead.

"And don't be a freaking coward this time." Hange added.

Levi's silence was all Hange needed to know what Levi was planning.

"Oh my god. You were planning on keeping away, weren't you?" Hange hissed as she stared at her friend.

"I don't know." Levi admitted with a hiss. He rubbed his forehead as he said, "Do I even have the right to do anything else, Hange? I fucked up five years ago. What right do I have to-"

"Keywords: five years ago." Hange cut him off as the elevator door opened.

They began walking towards Hange's jeep as Levi painfully whispered, "I can't... I can't hurt him again..."

Hange stared at him and softly said, "Then don't."

Levi stopped walking as he whispered, "I don't... I don't deserve him..."

Hange grinned sadly as she admitted, "Yeah, you don't. But you know what?"

Hange smiled at him softly as she said, "It was never about deserving someone. You want him. You love him. That should be enough. Levi, don't run away."

Hange shook her head and corrected, "Stop running away. He's right here now. He's back by your side. You don't deserve him. You never did. Five years ago, you didn't deserve him yet he stayed until he had to leave. You never gave him a reason to stay five years ago. Now give him a reason to stay this time."

Hange walked towards Levi and whispered, "I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. He's not a saint. You'll have to fight for him. You have to show him. You might not deserve him but there will be no one in the entire world who can love and take care of him as good and dedicated as you."

Hange placed her hands on Levi's cheeks gently and kissed Levi's forehead before she whispered, "Show him that this time... You don't plan to let him go."

Hange wrapped her arms around Levi and whispered, "I'm rooting for you. Please... make Eren happy. Please..."

"... Be happy, Levi."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaannnggeeeeeeee ♡♡♡
> 
> Bonus points to those who get the small dw reference (￣∀￣)
> 
> A movie called Assault on Giant... hhhhmmmm...


	10. Domestic Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before shit hits the fan, let them have a moment of necessary happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating sooner. TTATT  
> I got sidetracked by Tales of Innocence R (I bought a PS Vita~! I'm so screwed financially!! XD)
> 
> Warning:
> 
> 1 unbeta'ed as usual  
> 2 feels like a filler but after all the emotional shit we went through, I think we kinda need this... questionable fluff...?  
> 3 uuummm... there's a part of MikEr... what do they call that pairing anyway? MiEru? MikEr?   
> 4 Might contain mixed messages and conversationblocks thanks to our favorite shitty brat

When Levi had returned to the apartment, no one was in the living room. He went straight to Hange's room and found Eren standing in front of Hange's drawer, holding in his hands the picture frame housing the photo from Levi's FBI graduation.

 

Eren didn't bother raising his head and asked, “I'm guessing this girl is Isabel?”

 

Levi walked towards him and looked at where he was pointing at a smiling Isabel holding her brother's arm. He nodded as he said, “Yeah.”

 

Eren chuckled and commented, “She looks nothing like you.”

 

Levi smiled softly as he replied, “She takes after our mother.”

 

Eren hummed and pointed at the tall man next to Erwin, “And this guy?”

 

“That's Mike.” Levi replied and added, “The man crazy enough to marry Erwin.”

 

Eren turned to look at Levi with wide surprised eyes as he asked, “Seriously? Erwin's marrying him?”

 

Levi shrugged and replied, “Yeah. He's the bartender of the pub we could go to if we needed to get trashed. He and Erwin started dating two years ago. He's a good guy. Has this weird habit of sniffing people though.”

 

Eren laughed and placed the frame back to the drawer as he commented, “I would... have never expected that.”

 

Levi rolled his eyes as he said, “You and me both. Before Mike straight out asked him out on a date, we were thinking Erwin was going to grow old alone, adopting dogs and-”

 

Levi stopped when he noticed the untouched duffel bag on the foot of the bed. He continued to stare at the duffel bag as he asked, “Aren't you going to unpack?”

 

“Hm?” Eren turned to look at where Levi was staring and rubbed the back of his neck as he replied, “Nah. I don't want to impose.”

 

Levi could only stare as his chest ached due to Eren's words.

 

He wouldn't be imposing.

 

If anything-

 

Eren sat by the edge of the bed and looked at the ceiling, sighing. He turned to look at Levi as he remembered, “Oh. Petra and Oluo are in the other apartment. Erwin's orders, surveillance or something. He was... very vague. He did say to tell you that he placed the files on the table though.”

 

Levi stared at Eren for a moment and said softly, “Eren...”

 

“Yes?” Eren replied, smiling softly at him.

 

“Five years ago...” Levi paused and took a deep breath before continuing, “Erwin and I-”

 

Eren jumped off the bed and said, “That reminds me! I haven't eaten dinner yet.”

 

Eren grinned as he asked, “Have you eaten dinner yet, Levi?”

 

Levi stared at Eren for a moment. It doesn't take a genius to realize that Eren had simply wanted to change the topic. Levi opened his mouth but closed it soon enough. Levi turned away and replied, “No. I haven't.”

 

If this was that Eren wanted then Levi would play along.

 

Eren walked out of the room as he asked, “Should we order takeout?”

 

Levi shook his head and followed Eren as he commented, “Too much of a risk.”

 

Eren hummed and walked towards the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and grinned as he said, “Oh. I can stir-fry some vegetables. It'll be quick and easy.”

 

Levi stared at Eren as he asked, “You can cook?”

 

Eren chuckled and turned to look at Levi with a cheeky grin as he replied, “Yeah.”

 

Eren paused and commented as he realized, “Oh, yeah. I never did cook when we were... well... five years ago...”

 

Levi looked at the floor as he replied, “Yeah...”

 

“Okay then.” Eren clapped his hands and began taking out a few plastics of vegetables as he said, “I'll show you how good I am in making simple dishes and... oh, can I use this?”

 

Levi saw Eren raise a plastic filled with thin stripes of beef and nodded as he replied, “Sure.”

 

He was pretty sure all of those came from Hange's grocery shopping two days ago.

 

Or, to be more exact, Moblit's grocery shopping. Levi and Hange were usually too busy so Moblit, Hange's personal assistant, had made a deal with Isabel and Farlan to make sure that he and Hange had a healthy meal as much as possible. They would take turns buying grocery and cooking for them. Mostly it was Moblit whenever he came over to make sure Hange was alright or Isabel when her classes weren't suffocate her... or when she needed some time away from studying.

 

Eren grinned and placed the plastic next to the vegetables before closing the refrigerator and checking the cupboards, “Okay. Uuumm... how about...”

 

Eren's grin grew as he said, “Yup. Still here. Levi... can you come here?”

 

Levi walked towards Eren and blinked when the grinning man suddenly placed a box of instant mashed potato in Levi's hands. Eren continued to grin as he said triumphantly, “You have fallen for my trap, Levi Magnolia. You can no longer escape and you shall become my servant.”

 

Levi couldn't help the slight curving of his lips as he raised his eyebrow before asking, “Your servant?”

 

“Yes. My mashed potato servant.” Eren patted Levi's back as he ordered in a mock haughty tone, “Well, get to it. Grab the carton of milk in the refrigerator and start stiring, servant.”

 

Levi chuckled and took a quick look at the instructions before he shook his head as he said in a mocking tone, “Yes, sir.”

 

Eren smiled softly as he commented, “You finally smiled.”

 

Levi turned to look at Eren and Eren grinned as he teased, “You know, I kinda like it when you call me 'sir'. It's a nice change of pace.”

 

Eren continued to grin as he opened another cupboard, taking a chopping board and a knife out as he commented, “Of course, that's not as good as my mashed potato but it's easy to make and we don't really need to spend too much time preparing dinner tonight. Maybe... if we have time tomorrow, I'll make us a proper one.”

 

Levi's already getting used to Eren's abrupt change of topics whenever he wanted so he just went with it and opened the refrigerator to get the carton of milk as he asked, “How did you know we even have instant mashed potato?”

 

Eren shrugged and replied as he began washing the vegetables, “I remember Hange likes the instant kind. I figured she would still like it even after five years.”

 

Levi hummed in agreement and opened the carton. He sniffed it before putting it on the counter. He grabbed a microwaveable bowl and asked, “Microwave okay? Or should I use the stove?”

 

“Just microwave it.” Eren replied as he continued to cut the cabbage into thin stripes. He didn't bother looking away from what he was doing as he suggested, “Use butter instead of margarine though.”

 

Levi grabbed the butter from the small tray in the refrigerator as he commented, “We don't have any margarine anyway.”

 

Eren raised an eyebrow as he asked while placing all the thin sliced cabbages into a bowl, “Really? I remembered you guys have some back then?”

 

Levi shrugged and said as he placed 2 cups of water in the bowl, “They never bought margarine.”

 

Eren grinned as he began cutting carrots to thin slices, “You have people doing your grocery for you?”

 

Levi put a teaspoon of salt in the bowl as he explained, “My job pretty much takes up most of my time and Hange is crazy enough to forget eating if she's doing something so her assistant, Farlan and Isabel pretty much make sure we stay alive.”

 

Eren frowned as he commented while placing the thinly cut carrots in another bowl, “But your apartment is still as clean as it used to be five years ago.”

 

Levi turned to glare at Eren and said, “There's no way in hell I'm living in a pigsty.”

 

Eren turned to grin at Levi and retorted, “You don't have time to do grocery and cook but you have time to clean. This is what they call skewered priorities, Levi.”

 

Levi rolled his eyes as he said, “That's why they invented takeouts.”

 

“Really? Takeouts? Levi...” Eren leaned closer and whispered, “Yeah. Cause all of the restaurants and fastfood chains have the same cleanliness standards as you do.”

 

Levi stared at Eren for a moment before looking back at the bowl currently waiting to be placed on the microwave as he sarcastically commented, “Why thank you for opening my eyes on how disgusting people are. Thanks to you, I'll probably not eat ever again.”

 

“Now we can't have that.” Eren chuckled and began crushing the garlic as he commented offhandedly, “Great. Thanks. Now I'm all guilty over what I said.”

 

Levi chuckled and replied as he placed a sufficient amount of butter in the water, “You should feel guilty, you insufferable brat. You better take responsibility over this.”

 

Eren chuckled softly as he placed the garlic on a small saucer and asked, “Okay then. How can I take responsibility over this?”

 

Levi stopped and turned to stare at Eren. His mouth moved before he could even understand what he was saying, “Stay.”

 

Eren stopped as well and turned to look at Levi. He smiled softly and Levi's chest ached when he saw the pure sadness in Eren's mismatched eyes as Eren whispered, “Be careful on what you say, Levi. I might take it the wrong way.”  
  


“Eren, I-”

 

“Please don't.” Eren whispered, cutting off Levi's words, as he turned to look back at the chopping board, “Not yet, Levi. Please... we'll... talk later just...”

 

Eren turned to look back at Levi and smiled sadly as he said, “Let's just pretend for now, okay? Let's pretend everything is alright and have a nice dinner talking about senseless things.”

 

Levi opened his mouth but his throat felt so dry it was painful. He turned around and began stirring the butter, salt and water in the bowl in silence as he said, “Fine.”

 

He did not see Eren raise his hand as if to grab him only to stop when his fingers were just an inch away from Levi's back. He did not see Eren close his hand to a fist nor how his lips curved to a resigned sad smile.

 

He did not see Eren's mouth move, silently forming the words...

 

'I'm sorry, corporal'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ................................. I'm sorry... I was honestly writing this to be kinda fluffy but......... weelllll... uuummm....... yeah... I'm so sooorrrrrryyyyyy TTATT
> 
> Okay. Before anything else...  
> I might not be able to update next week because I'm going to Comic City 100 Osaka. BUT I am not sure if I can't. It shall depend on what happens next weekend.  
> Please bear with me TTATT


	11. No, You're Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most important thing in a relationship is communication.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:
> 
> 1 unbeta'ed as usual  
> 2 SHIT HITS THE FAN!!! SHIT HITS THE FAN!!!

 

After that, Levi kept quiet as Eren talked about various things such as his fellow co-workers, how nice his manager is, how his manager's boyfriend is pretty much a jerk and stories about his time as an actor. Levi had been watching Eren act for so long that he noticed it after the third laugh.

 

Eren was acting.

 

He was a good actor. Sometimes, Levi would forget Eren was acting in the first place whenever he watched his movies or his tv series. His painful expressions and tears were realistic. His confusion, his anger, his innocence...

 

He really is a talented actor.

 

His only weak point was when he acts... happy.

 

Whenever he acted happy, Levi always felt that something was off.

 

The smile was off, the happy tone of his voice was off, the way he looked at the other character was off. Everything... everything was off.

 

That's how Levi knew that Eren was acting as he talked about the time he had 'kidnapped' the author of Assault on Giant so they could play arcades the entire day, escaping his manager and the author's editor. He looked so happy as he talked about it but Levi recognized the fake happy tone and the fake smile on his face.

 

But Levi let him talk. He grunts and nods whenever Eren would seem to look like he was waiting for a reaction. His replies were curt and straight to the point. He doesn't know if Eren was offended by it or not since he continued to act as happy as he could be.

 

It was fucking painful to watch.

 

Before long, they were eating dinner and Eren was talking about the many recipes his mother and aunt had taught him. He talked about how he would make the same birthday cake his aunt had always made for his cousin's birthday. Talking about his cousin made his smile more melancholic, more real... but it disappears soon enough, replace by the same fake smile that irked Levi.

 

It was only after Levi had finished his dinner that he finally understood how he could recognize Eren's acting.

 

Everything was off because... they weren't the same way he had looked so happy when they were together. Before Levi fucked everything up.

 

Before he could stop himself, he started chuckling, covering his eyes with his left hand. Eren stopped talking and called out in a slightly concerned tone, “Levi?”

 

Of course.

 

That was it, wasn't it?

 

It all boils down to how he screwed up five years ago.

 

God damn it all.

 

“I'm sorry.” Levi whispered, causing Eren to stare at him with wide eyes.

 

“For... what...?” There was a crack in Eren's voice as he tried to ask in a calm tone.

 

“For everything.” Levi dropped his hand and stared at Eren, “For the way I treated you five years ago-”

 

“It's okay, Levi. I-”

 

“Shut up and listen, brat.” Levi ordered with a glare, knowing that if he let Eren talk, he would try to stop Levi from talking. Levi got up and said, “I screwed up. Five years ago, you came to my life and became a part of it so quickly I couldn't believe it. So I did what I do best.”

 

Levi walked towards Eren as he continued, “I ran away. I ran away from you, lied to you so many times and hurt you in the process.”

 

Levi stopped right next to Eren and admitted, “Erwin and I were never together. I only used him as an excuse to push you away.”

 

Eren continued to stare at him and Levi noticed how his hands were slightly trembling. Levi grabbed his hands and knelt in front of Eren as he continued, “I regretted it. I regretted letting you go five years ago. There was never a day I did not wish I could return back to that day and treat you right. There was never a day that I wanted to beat the crap out of my past self for letting you go.”

 

“Levi...” Eren whispered his name and looked at him with the most pained sad smile.

 

“I'm not asking you to forget about how I treated you five years ago. I'm fully prepared for your anger and your scorn but I... I...” Levi gripped his hands tightly as he pleaded, “Please... give me one more chance, Eren. Give me another chance. Because I...”

 

“I love you, Eren.” Levi whispered softly, staring at Eren.

 

A tear fell from Eren's right eye and he sadly smile, making Levi's chest ache painfully, as he whispered, “No... you don't.”

 

“What...?”

 

Eren gently pushed Levi away and stood, pulling the chair to stand between them as he said, “You're not in love with me, Levi. You just think you do.”

 

Levi couldn't stop the way his voice slightly rose as he asked, “How can you say that?”

 

Eren continued to smile at him sadly as he explained, “Because I'm the one who got away. You said it yourself. You 'regret' how you treated me five years ago. Five years ago, Levi... That's enough time for feelings and perspective to become skewered and distorted.”

 

“Are you saying my love for you is fake?” Levi hissed, glaring at Eren.

 

Eren backed away and replied with a blank expression on his face, “Yes. You're simply mistaking your guilt as love.”

 

“I loved you for five years!” Levi shook his head and corrected, “I still love you now.”

 

“No.” Eren smiled sadly as he corrected, “You wanted to say sorry for five years.”

 

“I-”

 

“Your guilt and pain over losing me has become distorted. You think you're in love with me but you-”

 

“SHUT UP!” Levi shouted, making Eren close his mouth.

 

Eren looked at Levi with a pained sad expression as he whispered, “I'm sorry, Levi, but this is the truth... you don't love me. You never loved me from the very beginning. You're simply fooling yourself into thinking you love me because you think that's what I want. You want to atone for how you treated me five years ago and the solution you came up with is to believe you love me.”

 

“That's not true.” Levi shook his head and placed his hand by his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly as he mumbled, “My feeling for you is real. I am in love with you.”

 

“Levi...”

 

“I understand why you won't believe it. I understand why you would think this feeling is just a distortion of my guilt but...” Levi grabbed Eren's wrist and proclaimed, “I'm not giving up on you, Eren. I'll make you see that my feelings for you is true. I'll make you understand that I am in love with you.”

 

Eren bit his bottom lip and looked away from Levi as Levi continued, “I'll show you. A shitty bastard like me may not deserve you but there is no one in this entire world who can love you as much as I can!”

 

“Stop it!” Eren shouted, pushing Levi away. Eren backed away, pressing his back against the wall as he grabbed the wrist Levi had been holding. He closed his eyes and begged, “Please just stop, Levi. Please...”

 

“No. If I stop now, I will never have you back.” Levi whispered but kept his distance. He closed his hands and tightly formed them into a fist as he continued, “I spent five years trying to find and be with you. This feeling I have for you... you might think it's fake but it's real for me and I'll make you understand that it is real. I won't lose. Not to your skewered theory... not to... not to your corporal as well!”

 

Eren's eyes widened and he stuttered, “What... do you... mean...?”  
  


“I pushed you away five years ago because I was afraid of how fast our relationship is. That's the major reason why. It was also because I...” Levi closed his eyes.

 

He had been hiding this the entire time.

 

He had put a lid to this feeling and locked it as far as he could.

 

But no more.

 

The reason why his relationship with Eren fell apart because of all the lies and the secrets he kept.

 

That's why he'll say them all.

 

He has to.

 

If he wants to get Eren back... he has to.

 

“Sometimes... I feel like you're not looking at me, Eren.” Levi admitted, staring at Eren, “Sometimes I feel like you're seeing someone else when you look at me. It fucking hurts.”

 

Eren gripped his wrist tightly as he whispered, “Levi...”  
  


“It's this corporal you would always call out in your dreams, isn't it? Whenever you look at me and not see me, you're seeing this corporal of yours, am I right?”

 

“I'm sorry...” Eren whispered, closing his eyes as he turned away.

 

“You're sorry...” Levi chuckled and placed his hands inside the pockets of his pants, “So... it was him... “

 

Eren turned and explained frantically, “I never intended to-”

 

“I don't care.” Levi cut him off, staring at him seriously as he continued, “I don't care if you think I'm a replacement for him.”

 

Eren's eyes widened and he shouted, “I don't-”

 

“I love you.” Levi proclaimed, making Eren stop talking once more, “And I will show you that my feelings are true. I'll show you that... that I love you more than he ever will!”

 

With that said, Levi walked out of the dining room, leaving Eren to stare at the spot he had been standing just a few seconds ago.

 

Eren pressed his back against the wall and slid down. He closed his eyes and whispered, “This is the worst...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ................ Uuummm... weeeeelllll... yeeeaaaahhhhhh.........  
>  Stay tune?


	12. I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren presents a very wild explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I'm just gonna say this now. My next week is full of shit to be done so Beyond Duty and Responsibility may not get updated next week (which means the update of this one will be pushed as well). I will try my very best to update BDR but... it seems highly unlikely. I am so, so sorry TTATT
> 
> Warning:
> 
> 1 unbeta'ed as usual  
> 2 … I guess... prepare for more emotional bitch slaps?  
> 3 SPOILERS FOR THE LATEST CHAPTER OF THE MANGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I cannot stress this enough)

It took a few minutes of sitting on his bed in the dark for Levi to finally admit that what he did was pretty stu- scratch that, what he did was absolutely fucking stupid.

 

No. He wasn't talking about all the shit he said.

 

Those needed to be said.

 

What he meant was how he ended it. How he simply walked out, not letting Eren talk.

 

“I fucked up.” Levi mumbled as he covered his face with both of his hands. He sighed and shook his head.

 

Fuck it.

 

All he can do now was go back out there and hope Eren wasn't too pissed off about how he abruptly ended their 'conversation'.

 

Hell, calling it a conversation wasn't even correct anymore. It was more of Levi saying his piece, not letting Eren say anything back.

 

Really.

 

If any of his friends heard about this, they would slowly clap at him and congratulate him for his 'adult reaction'.

 

He was pretty sure Isabel would even call him a dummy if she heard about this.

 

Levi shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

 

There was no use thinking about how his friends was going to annoy him about this. He stood and walked out of the room. He walked towards the living room and called out, “Eren?”

 

There was no one in the living room. Levi checked the kitchen and dining room but there was no sign of the brown haired young man. Levi hurriedly checked the hallway and found the door leading to Hange's room closed with light coming out from the small gap between the door and the floor. He raised his hand to knock on the door but stop before his knuckles tap the door. He closed his eyes and knocked twice before asking softly, “Eren?”

 

He opened his eyes when he heard the light footsteps coming from the other side of the door but no reply. Levi waited for a few seconds before he said, “Just... tell me you're fine in there. We don't need to talk if you don't want to.”

 

He heard a light thud from the other side of the door before he heard Eren's soft voice, “Let me... think about stuff alone... for a while...”

 

Eren's last word was so soft Levi almost didn't hear it, “Please...”

 

Levi dropped his hand slowly as he replied, “I'll be in the living room...”

 

“Just... talk to me whenever you're ready.” Levi pressed his forehead against the door as he whispered, “I'll wait.”

 

After a few moments of silence, Levi finally walked away from the door. He went to the living room and grabbed the files on the table. They were left by Erwin just like Eren said, detailing all of the unsub's victims. Levi flipped through the documents before closing them.

 

Levi grabbed the white board behind the HDTV and pulled it towards the empty space in front of the couch. Hange would usually write formulas and theories in it but it was currently blank. Levi grabbed a map of their country and placed it on the board, using Hange's magnets to keep it up. He began plotting the sites where the bodies where found, using a red string to connect those places with the last place they were seen, adding small notes and markers for possible sites they should check and any other possible clues he noticed. He used green magnets to place where Eren supposedly was during the last time the victims were seen as well. He added notes about the deaths of Eren's character for each places where the victims were found. He tacked comparison pictures of the victim's death and Eren's death scenes as well.

 

Once he had finished plotting his board, Levi stepped back to look at his work. All of the victims were last seen either in this state or in a state near here. They were also found in this state or in a state near here.

 

This pattern supposedly started a year ago. Last January... but it started escalating, mainly because Eren's characters do tend to... die...

 

Levi always hated to watch Eren's death scenes. His chest hurts so bad it feels like he can't breath at times. It was especially bad when Eren would smile peacefully at the camera before he dies.

 

It was so painful to watch Eren look ready and resigned to his death.

 

Levi rubbed his eyes and tried to focus on finding out why it only started a year ago.

 

Quite frankly, Eren has one of the highest character death count since he started his acting career. It seemed the writers and producers enjoy killing him off. Sure, there were a lot of happy endings as well but his death scenes were abundant as well.

 

That's why... the question was...

 

“Why did this only start now?” Levi mumbled out loud, trying to flip through the documents, hoping to find a clue to his question.

 

“December last year.”

 

Levi froze when he heard Eren's voice behind him. He turned around and saw Eren sitting on the couch, staring at the board as he lightly tapped at the book on his lap. Eren glance away from the board and stare at Levi. Noticing Levi's questioning gaze, Eren stood and walked towards him. He stopped right next to Levi, offering a book to him.

 

Levi lowered his gaze towards the book in Eren's hand and read the title out loud, “Assault on Giant...”

 

Levi's eyes widened as he remembered, “The first part of Assault on Giant premiered last December.”

 

Levi flipped through the pages once more as he mumbled out loud, “Their napes were cut...”

 

“The only way to destroy a Titan.” Eren mused, staring back at the board once more.

 

“Titan?” The word left a bitter taste in Levi's mouth, almost as if it was a word he should never utter.

 

“I suppose you would be more familiar with calling them giants now.” Eren offhandedly remarked as he placed his hand on the photo of one of the victims. He stared at the photo as he asked, “They all had green eyes?”

 

“Just like your character in Assault on Giant.” Levi commented. While Eren was well known for his unusual mismatched eyes, his character in Assault on Giants had green eyes so he had to wear a contact for his left eye for the movie series. Levi closed the folder and mused out loud, “The unsub isn't targeting you. He's targeting the character you're playing in Assault on Giants”

 

Eren turned to look at him and ask, “What if I told you that he and I are the same?”

 

Levi stared at him for a moment before he narrowed his eyes and hissed, “Don't fucking joke about that, Eren. Don't you dare joke that you're a serial killer.”

 

Eren blinked twice before chuckling softly. He shook his head and corrected, “No. I don't mean that. I meant...”

 

Eren smiled sadly as he asked, “What if I told you that the character I play in Assault on Giants... the monster... what if I told you he and I are the same person?”

 

Levi stared at him, unable to find an answer to his question. He frowned slightly as he said, “I don't think I understand your question.”

 

Eren turned to look back at the board as he explained, “I thought about it. About... our current situation... I debated over telling you the truth.”

 

Eren chuckled as he shook his head and corrected, “Or, I suppose, my version of the truth.”

 

“When I was nine... I started to dream of a world filled with death and despair.” Eren explained as he closed his eyes, “I would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying. My mother and father were worried about me. I've been... I've been to a lot of experts, all of them giving different diagnostics about my dreams. After a year, I managed to finally piece everything together.”

 

Eren opened his eyes and stared at the book in his hands as he continued, “I was dreaming of my past life. My past life as another Eren Yeager, a fifteen years old boy forced to fight monsters for humanity.”

 

“A monster used by humanity to survive.” Eren mumbled softly before offering the book to Levi once more. He looked at Levi as he asked, “Did you read this?”

 

Levi looked at the book Eren was offering and replied, “I did.”

 

Levi raised his head to stare back at Eren and asked, “Are you saying that that book is your past life?”

 

“Hard to believe, isn't it?” Eren mused, smiling sadly at him.

 

“Very.” Levi admitted before he asked, “Let's say that this screwed up book is your past life... how do you explain how this book was written by another person? Or are you saying you wrote this book?”

 

Eren laughed and shook his head as he replied, “No. I didn't.”

 

Eren flipped the book open as he explained, “This book was written in the perspective of my best friend.”

 

Levi frowned as he asked, “Are you saying that the author of that book remembers his past life as well?”

 

“Yes.” Eren closed the book as he replied, “We both remembered.”

 

Eren smiled sadly as he added, “We're... the only ones who remember...”

 

Eren turned to look at the board once more as he corrected, “Or... I had assumed we were the only ones who did.”

 

Levi stared at him for a moment before turning his head to look at the board once more as he asked, “You're saying that the unsub remembers as well?”

 

“Yes.” Eren continued to smile sadly as he added, “Even if you don't believe me, you can say that there's a possibility that the killer thinks I am the monster of this book.”

 

“It's a good theory. It has some valid grounds to back it up.” Levi admitted before turning to look at Eren as he said, “But that's not what you meant when you said 'our situation', is it?”

 

“No.” Eren admitted, “Seeing this board just made me realize it.”

 

Eren turned to stare at Levi as well as he continued, “I was talking about us.”

 

Eren walked towards the couch and placed the book in the table before he sat on the couch. He brought his knees up to his chest and grasped his shins with his hands. He rested his chin against his knee and stared at the blank television as he said, “We were never together... me and the Corporal.”

 

Levi stared at Eren in silence. Taking that silence as his way of saying to continue, Eren explained, “He's... I suppose it would be easier to just say that he would be the monster's captain in the book.”

 

“Captain...” Levi turned to stare at the book on the table as he said, “The main character never did say they were together. Whenever he explained their relationship, he had simply said they were... close.”

 

Eren smiled sadly as he said, “Corporal... was the only adult I could trust back then. He was blunt and he never tried to hide anything from me. There were other kind adults, of course. But... their kindness... their kindness made it hard to trust them. They sometimes hide things from me because they believe that was the kind thing to do...”

 

Eren rested his forehead against his knees as he continued, “He was... the only one who continued to support me up till the end. I was grateful for that. I trusted him. But we...”

 

Eren raised his head and stared at Levi as he admitted, “We were not in love.”

 

“We didn't have the luxury to be in love. Our relationship... I don't even know what our relationship was. We never shared any intimacy of any kind.” Eren turned to stare at the television once more as he continued, “I'm not going to say I knew how Corporal felt about me. Honestly, I don't even know if he cared for me as deeply as I did.”

 

“All I can say for sure is that... I would have gladly died if he ordered it.” Eren admitted, smiling softly as he explained, “Because I know he would sacrifice me if it means humanity's survival.”

 

“You would... you would willingly die for him?” Levi hissed, unable to hide the angry in his voice over how easily Eren could throw his life for this Corporal of his.

 

“Yes, I would.” Eren replied with no hesitation. He turned to look back at Levi with clear eyes as he admitted, “If it had meant the eradication of all the Titans, I would have gladly died.”

 

Eren closed his eyes and explained, “I'm not saying it's the correct choice. I'm not glorifying martyrdom or any of that shit. But, back then, we had our backs pressed against the wall. We were struggling to survive. We were struggling to be free. If my death would mean the freedom of humanity... the freedom of my friends...”

 

Eren wrapped his arms around his shins before continuing, “If it finally means he doesn't have to watch his subordinates die in front of him... I would have gladly accepted my fate.”

 

Eren opened his eyes and smiled sadly as he continued, “I grew up chained by these memories. They could be my memories of a past life, the memories of another world, maybe even a delusion of an unknown mental illness... it doesn't matter. I call them memories because I truly believe they happen. The pain and despair of these memories felt too real to be just my delusion. But most of all...”

 

Eren placed his hand by his chest and gripped the fabric tightly as he admitted, “I didn't want Corporal to just be a figment of my imagination.”

 

Eren closed his eyes once more and painfully admitted, “I am the worst. The truth is... I simply don't want your love for me to be true. A monster like me don't deserve your love.”

 

“You're not a monster.” Levi said, stepping towards Eren.

 

Eren chuckled emptily and opened his eyes. He stared at Levi and smiled sardonically as he asked, “What if I told you... that the reason I wanted to be by your side five years ago was because you were my Corporal?”

 

Levi froze at those words. Eren stood and took one step towards Levi as he said, “These memories consumed my life, Levi. I pretended to be alright, pretended I stopped having nightmares, pretended I was normal but I'm not. I would look at my mother and I would remember how I watch her die. I would look at my father and remember how his flesh tasted in my mouth. I would look at my cousin and remember how I couldn't save her and how I watch her die in front of me so I could survive.”

 

Eren took another step forward as he continued, “I told you your perspective is skewered because I know what it's like. I know what it's like to wish to be with someone for so long. What it's like to picture someone who had been there for you, who had been your pillar of support for so long... how skewered our perspective becomes when they're no longer there.”

 

“I know because that's what happened to me.” Tears began to fall from Eren's eyes as he admitted, “I spent eight years, dreaming and wishing Corporal would be by my side. I respected him. I cared for him. ”

 

Eren smiled sadly as he said, “Then I met you. You looked just like him. Your face, your voice, your mannerism...”

 

“If these memories are from a past life then, without a doubt, you are him. If these memories are from another world then you are this world's version of him.” Eren chuckled emptily and admitted, “Whatever these memories may be, I had deluded myself into thinking that I finally found him again. That I can finally be with my Corporal again.”

 

“Being with you...” Eren placed his hands on Levi's cheeks as he whispered, “Being held by you...”

 

“I made my greatest mistake...” Eren smiled sadly as he said, “I believed... I was in love with you.”

 

Levi grabbed Eren's wrists and whispered, “Eren...”

 

Eren pressed his forehead against Levi's as he whispered back, “My feelings for Corporal... my longing and desire to meet him again... they got skewered and twisted. Because of these feelings, I didn't see you. I saw my Corporal... I saw the man I spent my entire life longing for.”

 

“The truth is... I was glad. I was glad I left.” Eren closed his eyes and admitted, “If... if I had stayed... I would have let you do whatever you wanted with me. I would have willingly be by your side even if you just saw me as a toy.”

 

“I never-”

 

Eren placed his finger on Levi's lips and begged, “Please, let me finish.”

 

Eren opened his eyes and smiled sadly as he cupped Levi's cheeks once more, “I was glad I left. Because being away from you... I finally understood it. I wasn't in love with you... I was never in love with you.”

 

“I was in love with my memories of my Corporal.” Eren chuckled bitterly before he gave a pained sad smile, tears flowing from his eyes as he admitted, “I don't even think I'm in love with the Corporal... I think my feelings for him has become so twisted that all I can love is my own perception of him, my idea of him.”

 

“And it's not fair to you nor to him.” Eren's hands began to tremble as he continued, “I'm so sorry, Levi. I'm so so sorry...”

 

“I really hope you don't truly love me because you don't deserve to love a monster like me.” Eren's lips trembled as he continued to smile, “I know you truly believe you care for me. I know you didn't want to treat me like a toy five years ago. I know that. You're a good man, Levi.”

 

Eren pressed his forehead against Levi once more and placed his hands to rest on the side of Levi's neck as he said, “Maybe... maybe if I had never had these memories, I could have fallen in love with you... the real you.”

 

“But I... the monster standing in front of you...” Eren pulled away from Levi.

 

Eren smiled sadly as he admitted, “I don't think I can ever love you.”

 

Levi felt Eren's hands slowly pull away from him. His throat was dry. His legs felt like stone. All he could see was the resigned smile in Eren's face, the way he was crying for both him and the Corporal he sees.

 

There were so many questions swimming in his mind right now.

 

The damn book was real?

 

Eren had dreams of a past life?

 

He was the Corporal who had plagued Eren's dreams?

 

Eren stayed by his side because he saw his Corporal?

 

His mouth wouldn't move. Even if it could, Levi didn't even know what he should ask first.

 

All he knew is that Eren was pulling away from him. Eren was stepping back.

 

Levi knew that...

 

If he let Eren leave now...

 

If he let Eren pull away now.

 

He will never have him back.

 

That's why he grabbed Eren's wrist.

 

Eren's eyes widened at Levi's sudden movement.

 

Levi didn't even know if what he's doing is right.

 

Levi doesn't even know if he had the right to do what he was about to do.

 

All he knew is that...

 

He didn't want Eren out of his life.

 

He didn't want to make the same mistake again.

 

That's why he pulled Eren towards him.

 

That's why he pressed their chest together.

 

That's why...

 

He kissed Eren.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..............................................................................  
>  Oh dear god  
> I didn't...  
> I never...  
> I wasn't expecting this to be this fucking depressing TTATT  
> I'm so sorry (;A; )


	13. Please, look at me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi says his piece once more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:
> 
> 1 unbeta'ed as usual  
> 2 less angst for now? I think? I don't know anymore.

> “ _Do you think... offering your heart to someone is a good thing?”_
> 
> _  
> I was surprised by my best friend's question. It seemed so out of the blue but I suppose, in hindsight, it was a question that should have been asked long ago._
> 
>  
> 
> “ _Are you talking about his proclamation to her?” I asked, unable to stop the smile from forming as I repeated, “After this battle is over, I want to offer my heart to you. She was so surprised back then.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _I grinned as I teased, “Are you jealous?”  
> _
> 
> _He scoffed and asked, “At what? At that horseface? No way in hell.”_
> 
>  
> 
> “ _Then at him?” I continued, knowing his answer already._
> 
>  
> 
> “ _Wha-?! Hell no!! What the hell?!! She's my sister!!!” He looked at the moon and added, “I do think... he can make her happy though.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _I continued to stare at him and asked, “So... why is it supposed to be a bad thing?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _He shrugged and said, “I don't know. I don't understand it, really. I guess... it's because I have no one to offer my heart to after this battle.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _I stared at him, not sure if I should reply to that musing. I know he truly believed that and it would be rude to joke about his closeness with that certain someone. Not when I don't know if what they feel for one another is love or not._
> 
>  
> 
> _That night... all I could do was silently watch the moon with my best friend, unable to comfort nor give him insights._
> 
>  
> 
> _I couldn't._
> 
>  
> 
> _Tomorrow would be our final battle with the giants..._
> 
>  
> 
> _Tomorrow, I do not know if we would even see each other anymore._
> 
>  
> 
> _It would be cruel... too cruel to tell him that there was one person he could have offered his heart to after this battle._
> 
>  
> 
> _It would be cruel to suggest to him to proclaim such a thing._
> 
>  
> 
> _Not when I do not know if they were in love._
> 
>  
> 
> _Not when... it was possible that one of them would not make it out of that battle alive._

**(Excerpt from Assault on Titan Book3: Humanity's Last Stand)**

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He felt Eren squirm against him and try to push him away. Levi pulled back but kept gripping Eren's wrist. Eren tried to pull his hand out of Levi's grip as he weakly whispered, “Please, let go. Levi-”

 

“Look at me, Eren.” Levi whispered back, staring at Eren as he continued to look at the ground.

 

Eren closed his eyes and tried to pull harder but Levi continued to grip his wrist, making sure to apply enough pressure to keep Eren from getting away without hurting him. Levi used his free hand to grab Eren by the shoulder and whispered once more, “Look at me.”

 

Tears fell from Eren's eyes as he opened his eyes slowly. He bit his bottom lip and raised his head slowly, mismatched eyes staring at Levi. The fluorescent light made Eren's teary eyes glow, making Levi have conflicted emotions.

 

His right eye reminded Levi of a green sea during sun rise, sparkling with life and familiarity.

 

His left eye reminded Levi of a dying fire during night time, weak yet dangerous at the same time.

 

Levi had always liked Eren's green eye more. There was something... nostalgic about it. Levi had always assumed it was because it reminded him of Isabel's eyes, of their mother's eyes, but the color was a bit off. Eren's eyes was more complex, appearing more of a blue hue at certain angles and lighting, compared to Isabel and their mother's pure green eyes. It did not stop it from being nostalgic to Levi though. It has always been strange to Levi why he felt such an emotion towards Eren's eyes.

 

In comparison to that, Levi had always been a bit unnerved by Eren's gold colored eye. It always felt off. Levi had always assumed it was because Eren was the only person he knew to have such an eye color. The closest Levi had seen similar to that eye were hazel colored eyes and that was still so far off in comparison. There was something... inhuman about Eren's gold eye and Levi had always felt uncomfortable around it... five years ago.

 

Now, he can look at that gold eye and not feel unnerved. He still loves Eren's green eye more but that gold eye was a part of Eren as well and he had already decided to accept all of Eren.

 

That's why...

 

“I won't say I believe that past life exist. That's just too much for me right now. The idea that your past life was a shitty one that became the basis of that book? Saying that it's too much may be an understatement...” Levi admitted, making Eren turn his head away. Levi pulled him closer and whispered, “Don't look away, Eren. Look at me.”

 

Eren reluctantly turned his head once more to look back at Levi and Levi continued, “But I do believe that you believe that what you're saying is true. I am not going to deny your belief nor am I going to be an asshole and say shit about it. All I ask is... Eren...”

 

Levi raised the hand holding Eren's shoulder and placed it on Eren's cheek, caressing his cheek softly as he asked, “Are you looking at me right now?”

 

The question caused Eren's eyes to widen in surprise. He stared at Levi and asked weakly, “What... do you... mean...?”

 

“Are you looking at me? Are you seeing me? The man in front of you. Not the man you've been longing for so long. Not the man that you made you attracted to me. But at me, the man talking to you right now.” Levi whispered, his voice cracking slightly as he asked, dreading the answer he was going to receive, “Are you seeing me now or are you seeing your corporal?”

 

Eren's tears began to fall once more as he whispered back, “You. I'm looking at you, Levi.”

 

Levi managed to make a small smile and he said, “Good.”

 

Levi pressed their forehead together and pleaded, “Don't turn your eyes away from me, Eren. Look at me. See me.”

 

“I am! It's because I am that I can't-”

 

“I love you.” Levi cut him off, knowing what Eren was trying desperately to tell him. Levi smiled sadly as he continued, “My feelings for you are real. I don't care if you think they're fake. I don't care if you think your feelings for me are skewered representations of your feelings for him. You don't know how he feels for you... but I want you to know how I feel about you. I'm right here, Eren. I'm here with you and I want to be with you.”

 

Eren shook his head and pushed Levi gently. Levi let him but kept his hand gripping Eren's wrist. Eren closed his eyes and whispered, “I can't. I just... I can't be with you, Levi. I can't love you.”

 

“It's not that you can't, Eren. You don't want to.” Levi whispered back, causing Eren to open his eyes and stare at him. Levi continued to smile sadly as he explained, “You believe that if you love me, you won't love me for who I am but for who you think I am. You think you will love me because of your feelings for your corporal.”

 

Eren began to tremble as he nodded, ashamed as he whispered, “Yes.”

 

“That's why I want you to look at me, Eren.” Levi placed his hand on the back of Eren's neck, pressing their forehead together once more as he whispered, “Look at me and see if you can love the real me.”

 

“Levi...” Eren's voice was weak, tired, almost as if he didn't want to listen anymore.

 

But Levi won't let him.

 

“I'm not asking you to love me, Eren. I'm prepared for you to reject me.” Levi's smile turned a bit sardonic as he added, “I have been expecting you to reject me these past five years.”

 

Eren's mouth opened once more but he stopped, looking as if he was unsure of what to say anymore so Levi pressed on, “I just want you to give me a chance, Eren. Give me a chance to prove to you that my feelings are true. Let me prove to you that...”

 

Levi pulled Eren's wrist towards his chest. He placed Eren's hand right in front of where his heart was beating so fast it feels like it would explode any moment and he whispered, “I truly want to offer my heart to you.”  
  


Eren's eyes widened at those words. He stared at Levi for a moment, mismatched eyes glowing with pain and longing, before slowly closing the distance between their lips.

 

Levi stopped him by raising his point finger between their lips, lightly touching Eren's lips. Eren seemed confused and pained at the action so Levi smiled softly and whispered, “I know that look, Eren. You're not seeing me again.”

 

Eren's eyes widened for a moment before closing his eyes, lowering his head in shame as he whispered, “I'm sorry.”

 

Levi placed his hand on Eren's chin and gently raised his head. He kissed Eren on the forehead before whispering, “We'll kiss once you fall in love with me.”

 

Eren chuckled lightly and commented, “You really think I will fall in love with you?”

 

“I want to believe in the possibility.” Levi replied, caressing Eren's cheeks with both of his hands as he continued, “Plus... I have nothing to lose. Love me and I will be the happiest man in the world. Reject me and I will be satisfied, knowing you rejected me because of me, not because of another man who who is similar to me.”

 

“I can't, Levi.” Eren whispered, placing a hand on Levi's chest as he admitted, “You're too similar to him. In my mind... you two are the same.”

 

Levi grasped Eren's hand and pressed it against his chest as he answered, “Then love me more than him. See past our similarity and look at me, not as his replacement nor as the same as him but as me. Whether I am worse than him... whether I am better than him... I want you to love me not because I am him in your eyes. I want you to love me because of who I am now. Love me not as a replacement or a continuation. Love me not as this corporal of yours. Love me... as myself... Love me as the man standing in front of you, begging you for another chance.”

 

Eren closed his eyes once more as he whispered, “I am not worthy of your love. I am not a saint... I am-”

 

“Let me be the judge of that.” Levi cut him off, gently caressing his cheek once more as he promised, “Just like how I ask you to see me, I will be seeing you for who you are, Eren. We don't really know one another that much anymore. What I remember five years ago about you may not be true anymore. We've both grown. We've both changed. And I am willing to see how much you've changed, Eren. I am willing to see the sides of you that I never got to see five years ago. I simply ask you to do the same for me.”

 

Eren opened his eyes and chuckled softly as he asked, “Why... why are you willing to do such a thing? Why would you not just let me go?”

 

“If, after this, you cannot find it in yourself to fall in love with me as me, I will let you go, Eren. I will accept your final decision.” Levi promised before wrapping his arms around him, pressing his forehead on Eren's shoulder as he proclaimed, “That... will be the final proof of my love for you.”

 

Eren chuckled sadly, gripping the fabric of Levi's shirt as he commented, “Your love... is painful, Levi.”

 

Levi chuckled back and retorted with a light tone, “It's only painful now because you can't accept it yet.”

 

“I can't promise you I will be able to accept your love at all, Levi.” Eren admitted, resting his head on Levi's shoulder as well.

 

“Then promise me you'll give us a chance. You'll give me a chance...” Levi closed his eyes as he tightened his hold on Eren, “Give me a chance to show you I love you the most.”

 

Levi could feel Eren's tears wetting his shoulder as Eren whispered, “I don't deserve your love.”

 

Levi chuckled and replied, “Honestly? I also think I don't deserve your love. After all the shit I made you go through... I was thinking of staying far away and keeping my feelings for you deep inside me for the rest of my life. But a good friend of mine told me just a while back... it was never about deserving someone. If you love someone and they love you back, that should be enough. That's why if you can accept me and love me...”

 

Levi held him tighter as he whispered, “That would be enough, Eren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .......................... I am heavily debating on changing the line “I truly want to offer my heart to you”. It sounds so corny  >.


	14. The Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of these are subjective to their point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No relation to the horror movie franchise...
> 
> Warning:
> 
> 1 unbeta'ed as usual  
> 2 More talking XD

Levi sighed tiredly as he continued to hold Eren in his arms. Eren chuckled and asked, “Maybe we should go to sleep?”

 

Eren's tone was light as he commented, “I think we're both tired... physically and emotionally.”

 

Levi couldn't help but chuckle before replying, “Yeah, I agree with you on that.”

 

Levi slowly pulled away from Eren but placed his forehead against Eren. He continued to hold Eren's hand and he closed his eyes as he whispered, “Sleep with me?”

 

Eren chuckled once more and asked playfully, “We can't kiss but we can have sex?”

 

Levi opened his eyes and smacked Eren's arm lightly before clarifying, “I mean just sleeping in the same bed, you perverted brat.”

 

Eren laughed and rubbed his arm before smiling at Levi. He nodded before agreeing in a teasing manner, “Sure. I'll sleep with you.”

 

Levi couldn't help but smile as well as he replied, “Good.”

 

Levi continued to hold one of Eren's hand as he began walking towards his room. Eren followed behind him, seemingly not bothered by Levi's touch. When they entered Levi's room, Levi finally let go of Eren's hand and stepped to the side to flick the light switch on. Once the light was on, Eren began casually looking at the room. Eren smiled as he commented, “This room hasn't changed at all.”

 

Levi leaned against the wall, unable to stop himself from commenting, “It's emptier.”

 

Levi flinched at the words that came out of his mouth. He wasn't trying to be a bitter passive-aggressive person but the words just... came out...

 

Eren didn't seemed to notice the slight jab though.

 

Or... was he acting?

 

“Eren, I'm so-” Levi stopped when he noticed that Eren was just standing in front of the bedside table, his back turned towards Levi. It took a moment before Levi remembered what was on the bedside table.

 

Levi walked towards his work desk and pulled one of the drawers out. He took out a simple silver chain he had gotten years ago. He didn't even know why he had bought the chain in the first place. It just an impulsive buy when he accompanied Isabel in her shopping back then.

 

He closed the drawer and walked towards Eren. He stopped next to Eren and stared at the top of the bedside table. Sitting on the top was a small black box. The same box Eren had held five years ago in this very same room, looking as if he was ready to cry.

 

Levi grabbed the box and opened it. Eren's breathing hitched once as he saw the simple gold ring lying inside the box. Levi took out the gold ring and placed the box back on top of the table. He continued to stare at the ring as he asked, “Did you know that this ring had an engraving on the inner rim?”

 

Eren seemed surprised at the question and he asked, “Really?”

 

“Yeah. I only notice when I was staring at it years ago.” Levi explained.

 

He didn't add that the reason why he was staring at it was because this ring was also one of his reminders of how badly he had screwed up five years ago. Staring at the ring was... a punishment of some sort. When he stared at it, he would remember the pain in Eren's face when he had lied about Erwin. He would remember the despair of his late mother. He would remember... how he had failed at both times.

 

Levi leaned closer to Eren and showed him the ring, pointing at the inner rim of the ring, as he admitted, “I can't make out what it's saying though...”

 

Eren leaned closer, squinting his eyes as he tried to read the engraving. He frowned as he said, “It's too small... I can't make out... the words... Wait. This part...”

 

Eren pointed at the end of the engraving, “I think it says... Le... vi...?”

 

Levi raised an eyebrow as he asked lightly, “It's saying my name?”

 

Eren's expression became sadder as he admitted in a soft tone, “No. Not you...”

 

Levi stared as Eren tiredly sat on the edge of the bed. Eren stared back at him and asked with a sardonic smile, “You going to ask what I mean?”

 

Levi lowered his head to stare at the ring in his hand for a moment before asking, “This ring... it's the same ring as in the book, isn't it?”

 

“Yes.” Eren clasped his hands together as he admitted, “That's the same ring Corporal gave me the day... the day of the final battle.”

 

Levi tried to recall how it was explained in the book but it was no good. That part of the book had been a small paragraph of the main character's best friend telling him about how their captain had given him the ring. His best friend was afraid of losing the ring so he gave it to the main character for safekeeping. The main character didn't ask any question pertaining to the ring but he had been curious why their captain had given a ring to his best friend. He even mused that maybe... just maybe... their captain had confessed and the ring was a promise.

 

Levi sighed tiredly and sat next to Eren. He inserted the chain into the ring as he asked, “Did he say what the ring was for?”

 

Eren stared at the wall in front of him as he replied, “No, not really. He called me up to his office and gave me the ring. He said... he ordered me to return the ring to him after the battle.”

 

Eren chuckled softly before commenting, “I think it was his roundabout way of ordering me to live.”

 

Levi held the ring in his palm as he asked, “So... he didn't confess?”

 

Eren laughed and shook his head. He smiled in a melancholic manner as he said, “Corporal didn't see me like that. He was Lance Corporal Levi, Humanity's Strongest. He didn't have time to fall in love.”

 

“Did you want him to?” Levi asked, staring at Eren.

 

“Honestly? I don't think I ever thought about that back then. He was...” Eren closed his eyes and continued, “He was my superior. He was the man who took me in and kept me grounded. The stakes were high and we had our backs against the wall. I didn't have the luxury to think about my feelings or if I wanted to be with him in a romantic way or not.”

 

Eren opened his eyes and chuckled as he admitted, “I did want him to acknowledge me. I wanted him to think of me as someone he can trust. I... didn't want to burden him any further. I was teased about it though. Some said I was like a dog. Others said I was like a girl trying to please her crush. I just shrugged them all off. As far as I was concern, there was nothing wrong or special about my feelings. I wanted him to trust me. That was all there is to it... at least... that was what I thought back then.”

 

“How about now? You had your entire life to think about that. I think we both know you had thought more about what you really wanted back then.” Levi pressed on, honestly wanting to know more about Eren. This Corporal of his is a big part of Eren's life. He had decided to accept all of Eren. Even this... painful part of him...

 

“I think...” Eren turned to look at Levi before replying with a sad smile, “I didn't want him to fall in love with me.”

 

Levi furrowed his brows as he asked, “You honestly believe that?”

 

“I've thought about it.” Eren admitted before smiling sadly once more, “And my conclusion was... if I was back in that lifetime, I wouldn't want him to fall in love with me. It would be too cruel. For both him and me. Not to mention...”

 

Eren gripped his hands together as he said, “It would have jeopardized our mission.”

 

“Humanity first, huh.” Levi commented as he turned to stare at the wall. He covered the ring with his entire hand and said, “But not anymore...”

 

Levi turned to look at Eren once more as he said, “You can choose to be happy now, Eren. You don't... you don't have to sacrifice yourself for others.”

 

Eren's eyes widened and he turned to look at Levi. Eren's eyes began to water as he admitted, “It's when you say something like that... that I just...”

 

Eren chuckled tiredly before he said, “That I realize that you're not the Corporal I know.”

 

Levi placed his hand on top of Eren's and said, “I'm not going to badmouth your Corporal. All I know about the bastard is what you tell me and what the book says which means they're both other people's opinion of him. I do know that both your opinion and the book's opinion says that he's a good man. We can talk and try to analyze what he felt about you but we both know that it would just be futile.”

 

“Eren...” Levi sighed and looked at their hands as he asked, “Do you still think about it? Do you still wonder if he ever loved you?”

 

“I don't.” Eren admitted, smiling sadly as he said, “I know he didn't.”

 

Levi tightened his hold on Eren's hand but didn't say anything. Eren rested his forehead against Levi's and he whispered, “I'm sorry.”

 

Levi scoffed and asked, “Why are you apologizing to me?”

 

Levi raised his head to stare at Eren before continuing, “I will not stop saying this to you until you finally accept it. I am not him. Maybe he is my past life. Maybe he is me in another world. Honestly, I'm more interested in the shit I had this morning than knowing if he really is me.”

 

Eren couldn't help but laugh at Levi's comment, making Levi smile. Levi let go of Eren and grabbed both ends of the chain. He put the necklace on Eren's neck, all the while staring at Eren. Eren touched the ring and stared at the engraving on the inner rim. Levi rested his forehead against Eren's once more and said, “This may be the same ring he gave you back then. Or maybe this is this world's version of that ring. Who knows? What matters is I'm giving you back this ring.”

 

“Why?” Eren managed to choke out

 

“Don't you remember what I told you five years ago?” Levi smiled sadly as he said, “This ring is yours. I gave it to you five years ago. You're the idiot who left it on my bed.”

 

“But it's yours-”

 

“No, it isn't.” Levi cut him off. He covered Eren's hand with his own, making Eren hold the ring in his hand, as he continued, “This ring has been passed down to my mother's family for generations. Maybe if your memories are from a past life, maybe I am a descendant of your Corporal. Or maybe it's some kind of overly used plot point you see in amateur writing where I was just destined to have this ring in the end for some kind of symbolic shit. I honestly don't give a shit.”

 

Levi took a breath before continuing, “The point I'm trying to get in your stick skull is that this ring is yours now. I gave this to you and I'm not going to let you give it back to me.”

 

Levi smiled sardonically and added, “But I am going to be a bastard and ask a favor from you.”

 

“A favor?” Eren asked and he looked at Levi.

 

“When you fall in love with me... wear that ring on your finger.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...... did I.......... just attacked my own plot? Uuuhhh... Oops?
> 
> I'm cutting it off here 'cause... weeellllll... it seemed right, I guess...


	15. Battleship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ring, ring, ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BAACCCKKKK~
> 
> Warning:
> 
> 1 unbeta'ed   
> 2 plot is finally moving, yeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!!!

It had been the insistent default ringing tone of an android phone that woke Levi from his light sleep. The man in his arms groaned and rolled away. Levi turned to his side and grabbed his phone. The screen was blank so it was obviously not his phone. He still pushed the power button and grimaced as he realized he had forgotten to change the brightness of his phone. His eyes screamed bloody murder as his phone attacked him with the highest brightness setting. Levi growled and blinked a couple of times, tapping the touchscreen to adjust the brightness.

 

Once the brightness was set to 0 percent, he returned to the main screen, grimacing as he saw his phone's internal clock display 4:00 AM.

 

Throughout the entire thing, that damn ringing continued to persist. Levi was about to get up and find the damn phone, probably threaten to decapitate whoever it was for calling this damn early. Before he could move, he felt the bed shift and he turned around just in time to see Eren roll out of the bed, falling to the floor with a light thud. Levi could only raise an eyebrow as Eren began crawling towards the chair where he had left his jeans before climbing into the bed just a few hours ago.

 

Eren took out a phone from the front left pocket of the jeans and tapped the screen. Levi sat up as he heard Eren greeted tiredly, “Hello?”

 

Even from the darkness of his room, Levi could see how Eren froze. Eren suddenly got up and asked in a slightly frantic tone, “He's what? Okay, okay. I get it. Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I'm on my way.”

 

Eren ended the call and hastily returned the phone in the front left pocket of his jeans before hastily putting the jeans on. Noticing Eren's sudden change of demeanor, Levi got out of bed and opened his closet, grabbing the nearest clean pair of slacks and white shirt he could grab. Levi quickly put on the slacks as he asked, “Who was that?”

 

Instead of answering his question, Eren said in a distracted manner, “I have to go.”

 

Levi took off his shirt just as Eren briskly walked out of the room, holding his ankle high boots on one hand. Levi followed him as he put on the white shirt, calling out, “Eren!”

 

Once he was by the front door, Eren dropped the boots on the floor and hastily put them on with one hand while he took out his phone once more and tapped the screen a few times before placing the phone by his ear. Levi put on his black shoes next to Eren as he heard Eren say to the other man on the phone, “Hey, Horseface. Put Marco on the phone.”

 

Eren growled and hissed, “I know it's too early to hear my damn voice but this is an emergency. Give the damn phone to Marco.”

 

Eren was quiet for a second before he said, “Marco? I'm so sorry to call you this early in the morning but I need a lift. I have to get to-”

 

Levi grabbed the phone off Eren's hand, causing Eren to shout, “Hey!”

 

Levi placed the phone on his ear and said, “Hello, this is Levi. Disregard Eren's request. I'll take care of it.”

 

“Huh? Um... is everything alright?” Marco's worried tone only made Levi glare at Eren.

 

“I don't know but I'm going to find out. I'll take care of Eren so you go back to sleep.” Levi ordered.

 

“Okay. Please get Eren to send me a message later about this, okay?” Marco was silent for a second before adding, “Please take care of Eren.”

 

Levi turned away from Eren as he replied, “I'll do everything I can.”

 

Levi ended the call without waiting for Marco's reply then he turned to glare at Eren before proclaiming, “I am not letting you go anywhere until you calm the hell down and explain to me why you're panicking.”

 

Eren turned away and explained vaguely, “My best friend needs my help.”

 

Levi stared at him for a few seconds before looking away. He sighed tiredly and mumbled, “I suppose I deserve your distrust.”

 

Eren's eyes widened and he shouted, “That's not-”

 

Levi opened the front door, just in time to see Oluo get out of the apartment next to his. Petra got out after Oluo and locked the door behind her. Levi turned towards them and noticed they seem to not want to look at him in the eyes. Considering they were probably monitoring them from the other room, Levi could surmise why they seemed awkward towards him and Eren. He didn't let it bother him and simply ordered, “We're taking this brat somewhere.”

 

“Where?” Oluo asked, finally having the guts to raise his head to stare at them.

 

Levi shrugged and said in a dismissing manner, “Ask him.”

 

Eren tried to get his attention but Levi was already walking towards the elevator with his phone out, tapping the screen a few times before putting the phone by his ear. He could barely hear Petra ask Eren for the address while they followed him. His call was answered the exact moment the elevator door opened. Once he heard 'hello', Levi immediately said, “Erwin, it's me. We're leaving my apartment to take Eren somewhere.”

 

Erwin seemed to have noticed Levi's sour mood as his next question was, “Are you okay, Levi?”

 

He barely notice Oluo pressed the B1 button and the elevator door closed.

 

“I've only had an hour, maybe an hour and a half, of sleep. I'm just peachy.” Levi sarcastically replied before adding, “Petra will send you the address later. I'll contact you once we get there.”

 

“Levi...” Levi knew that tone. That wasn't the tone of his cold calculating boss. That was the tone of his overly worried friend.

 

“I'm fine, Erwin.” Levi closed his eyes as he said, “I'm used to it.”

 

Whether Erwin took it as he was used to lacking enough sleep or used to the pain in his chest, Levi didn't wait to find out as he ended the call. The elevator finally stopped and the door opened. Levi walked out of the elevator, followed closely by his two subordinates and Eren. He walked towards their car as he ordered, “Oluo, you're driving. Petra, send the address to Erwin.”

 

“Yes, sir!” They both immediately replied, Oluo going to the driver's side and Petra going to the passenger's side. Levi opened the door to the back and turned to look at Eren.

 

“Get it.”

 

“Levi, I-”

 

“You're in a hurry, right?” Levi cut him off and added, “We can have this awkward conversation once we're on route. Now, get your ass in the car, you shitty brat.”

 

Eren went inside without saying another word and Levi followed him. Once Levi closed the door, Oluo turned the engine on and drove off the underground parking. Levi turned to look at the window, noticing they had taken the highway.

 

An awkward silence filled the car. Oluo and Petra were obviously the ones getting the blunt of the awkwardness while Levi was simply being stubborn, not wanting to talk to Eren at the moment.

 

He expected that level of distrust from Eren.

 

Hell. He would have been much more surprised if Eren didn't do shit like that.

 

But... it doesn't change that fact that his chest still hurt, knowing Eren couldn't tell him things.

 

As if reading his mind, Eren finally said softly, “It's not that I don't trust you, Levi.”

 

Levi continued to stare at the window as Eren continued, “It's just... complicated...”

 

Levi scoffed and commented, “Of course they are.”

 

Levi turned to look at Eren and asked, “Where are we going?”

 

“My best friend's house.” Eren replied, staring at his lap.

 

“Your best friend...” Levi frowned as it finally dawned on him, “You mean the author of Assault on Giant? Battleship AA?”

 

He could see Oluo and Petra squirming, obviously wanting to ask questions, but he paid them no attention once Eren replied, “Yes.”

 

Eren smiled as he said, “Obviously that isn't his real name.”

 

“He needs me right now.” Eren said as he stared at Levi seriously, “I'm sorry, Levi. I don't mean to offend you but making sure he's okay is my top priority right now. Trying to explain to you everything would just take too much time which I do not have.”

 

Levi finally turned to glare at him and said, “We have time now.”

 

Eren smiled sardonically and he retorted softly, “No. We don't.”

 

The car came to a halt and Oluo stuttered, “W-w-we're here... sir.”

 

Levi turned to glare at Oluo who looked ready to shit his pants. Eren opened the car door nearest to him and got out. Levi growled and called out, “Eren!”

 

Levi got out of the car as well and quickly looked around. 'Here' turned out to be one of the nice subdivisions in the center of the city. They had parked in front of a two story house with dark blue roof and light brown walls. Small white picket fence framed the lot. The walkway towards the white front door used light brown bricks. Flowers of different colors and classes grew on both sides of the walkway. The front door opened and a small petite blonde ran towards Eren.

 

The petite blonde grabbed Eren's hand and immediately dragged him towards the home. Eren let her drag him in as he asked, “How is he?”

 

“He's holed himself in his room. I have Ymir making sure he's okay.” The young woman replied as they entered the house.

 

Levi briskly walked towards the house, ordering Petra and Oluo, “Check the perimeter and tell Erwin we've safely reached our destination.”

 

“Yes, sir!”

 

Levi closed the door behind him and quickly followed Eren and the young woman to the second floor. The wall was filled with different pictures, mostly showing what seemed to be a man and a woman with a blond child.

 

They reached the farthest door to the right where a tall freckled woman with dark hair was leaning against the frame of the open door. She turned to look at them and said, “Took you long enough.”

 

She seemed to have noticed Levi and raised an eyebrow as she asked, “Who's the grumpy midget with you?”

 

Levi glared at her and the woman Levi has now dubbed as freckled bitch had the nerve to smirk at him.

 

“Ymir, Historia, this is Levi, my-”

 

“Bodyguard.” Levi immediately cut him off.

 

Eren didn't even seemed fazed by that and simply nodded in a distracted manner as he said, “Yeah. What he says.”

 

“Sorry.” Eren patted the blonde next to him on the shoulder as he said, “I'll leave the introductions to you.”

 

Eren walked passed freckled bitch and warned, “Behave or he will blow your head off.”

 

Freckled bitch only seemed amused by the obvious threat and asked, “You won't let him do that, would you?”

 

Eren smirked and retorted, “I'll help him hide the body.”

 

She laughed at that and stepped away from the door. Eren went inside and closed the door behind him. Levi stepped forward but freckled bitch stepped to the side, effectively blocking Levi. She smirked at Levi and said, “Name's Ymir. Nice to meet you, Levi...”

 

“Magnolia.” Levi said, glaring at Ymir.

 

Ymir's smirk grew as she said, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Levi Magnolia. Got to say, your last name does not suit you.”

 

“Ymir!” The blonde who had been silent up till now called Ymir in a scolding manner. She walked towards Levi and smiled apologetically, “I'm so sorry for her behavior. She's not a bad person.”

 

Ymir placed an arm on the blonde's shoulder and said in a sweet mocking tone, “Only to my dear beloved Historia.”

 

The blonde blushed and introduced herself, “I-I'm Historia Reiss, Armin's cousin...”

 

“And her caretaker.” Ymir added, making Historia knee her lightly on the stomach.

 

“I just make sure he takes care of himself.” Historia corrected with a light glare at Ymir.

 

Levi frowned and repeated, “Armin?”

 

Ymir and Historia stared at him for a second before Ymir asked in a condescending manner, “You don't know about Armin? I thought you were supposed to be Eren's bodyguard?”

 

Levi glared at her as he replied, “I just got my position yesterday.”

 

“Don't they debrief you guys or something?” Ymir prodded while Historia smack her shoulder lightly.

 

“Stop it, Ymir.” Historia ordered with a slight pout. She turned to look at Levi and apologized once more, “I'm so sorry for how she's acting. I suppose we can give you the summarized version. It must be hard getting dragged here without knowing anything.”

 

Historia placed her hand on her chest as she continued, “As I was saying, I'm Historia, Armin Arlert's cousin. Armin is Eren's best friend and the author of Assault on Giant.”

 

Levi raised an eyebrow at that information. He stared at Historia as he asked, “Battleship AA's real name is Armin Arlert?”

 

“Yup.” Ymir nodded and added, “By the way, the three of us live in this place. Historia's Armin's caretaker while I'm Historia's love muff-”

 

“Ymir!” Historia shouted with a scandalous look on her face which only made Ymir grin.

 

“Caretaker?” Levi asked, staring at Historia.

 

“Caretaker is an exaggeration.” Historia immediately corrected, “I just make sure he doesn't neglect on taking care of himself. You know how authors are. Once they're writing, they tend to forget everything.”

 

Levi narrowed his eyes as he commented, “I don't know any author but that doesn't sound normal at all.”

 

Historia fidgeted and said, “Well, I guess... I mean...”

 

The door opened, saving Historia from having to explain herself. Eren poked his head out and said, “Levi, come inside.”

 

Levi noticed the serious tone Eren had said those words and walked passed Ymir. He went in and Eren said to Historia, “I have two more bodyguards outside. Please offer them tea and maybe some biscuits.”

 

Ymir frowned as she said, “Hey, we're not an inn-”

 

“Of course.” Historia smiled and placed her hand on Ymir's arm as she said, “I shall prepare tea and biscuits for all of you. Please come down once Armin is feeling better.”

 

Eren smiled softly and said, “Thanks, Historia.”

 

Historia nodded and dragged Ymir down. Eren closed the door and locked it. Levi finally looked away from Eren and looked around. It was a simple bedroom with light blue colored walls and a small bed in the middle-

 

Levi frowned when he noticed the young blond man staring at him, sitting on the bed with his back pressed against the headrest. His knees were propped up, cradling his chin. A white blanket covered his legs and he stared at Levi with big wide blue eyes. The blond gulped and asked, “Corporal?”

 

Levi's eyes narrowed but, before he could reply, Eren stepped between them and corrected, “He doesn't remember, Armin.”

 

The blond man on the bed stared at Levi for a few seconds before blinking a few times. He stared at the floor as he mumbled, “Oh.”

 

Levi frowned at the seemingly spaced out reaction and looked at Eren. As if he knew what Levi wanted to ask, Eren said, “He's on medication.”

 

“They make me feel fluffy inside.” Armin said with a dazed look.

 

Levi glared at Eren and whispered, “He's high?”

 

“Just a liiiiittle bit.” Armin said as he pressed his thumb and forefinger together.

 

Eren pushed Levi gently, forcing him to back away from Armin. He whispered to Levi's ear, “He was here.”

 

“Who?”

 

“The asshole who wants to kill me.” Eren said as he placed a piece of paper on Levi's hand.

 

Levi took the paper and looked at it, his eyes widening slightly as he read what was written in it.

 

_Why didn't you write the real ending?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pen name Battleship AA is a reference to one of my most favorite LeviEre circle Senkan AA (戦艦AA). You guys probably know her more as AHIRU.
> 
> But yeah... I was thinking of a pen name for Armin and I thought:   
> “Armin Arlert... AA... huh, reminds me of Senkan AA......................................... screw it. Let's use that one. XD”
> 
> PS: Obviously, this series has nothing to do with any of AHIRU's doujins. If it seemed similar, it's probably a coincidence... or maybe my subconscious being the stupid fangirl it is and paying homage to one of the greatest LeviEre circles to grace us with their presence XD


	16. Shhhh, We Can't Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now, now. We can't go explaining everything now, can we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:
> 
> 1 unbeta'ed   
> 2 Armin is a bit high... or he's a bit crazy... it's up for debate (and apparently a fan of American TV shows and movies)  
> 3 A bit of one-sided Ermin? Or more like “everyone wants a piece of Commander Eyebrows”

Levi frowned at those words and looked at Eren as he asked, “The real ending?”

 

Eren looked at the floor as he mumbled in a slightly distracted tone, “Obviously the bastard's talking about the book's ending.”

 

“Ssshhh!” Armin hushed and quickly retorted, “No indication of gender. Bastard is a male insult. Could be a woman. Then the proper insult with be 'bitch'. Can also be neither or both. And the proper insult would be...”

 

Armin frowned and tilted his head as he asked with a dazed look, “What is the proper insult for such a person?”

 

“I know this may be a futile question considering he's high but... is he alright?” Levi couldn't help but ask.

 

Eren glared at him but could not speak since Armin quickly raised his head to look at Levi and said, “Oh yes. I am alright. Perfect health, the doctors say. My parents had me tested.”

 

Armin giggled and waved his hand as he continued, “My mental health is, I'm afraid, fried beyond recognition. Too many possible explanations... could probably be a combination of more than one. It's just easier to say I am crazy.”

 

Eren gave Levi a look that could only be described as 'look what you've done, you insensitive ass. I am gonna skin you alive after this'.

 

How was he suppose to know that question was a fucking landmine?!

 

“Armin, it's okay.” Eren softly said as he stepped towards Armin. He placed his hands over Armin's and whispered, “You're fine. You're not crazy.”

 

Armin giggled and stared at Eren as he said, “Eren, Eren, my beloved Eren. I love you, you know? I've always loved you. The brother I never had... I love you and Mikasa so so much. Our dear beloved Mikasa... so beautiful... so strong...”

 

Eren blinked rapidly and Levi could see that Eren's eyes were watering and his voice cracked as he said, “I love you too, Armin. You and Mikasa... we're a family, right?”

 

“Right.” Armin nodded rapidly, “Family. All we have left. But Mikasa's gone... everyone's gone...”

 

“No, no. Armin. Stay with me.” Eren patted Armin's shoulder as he said, “You have a mother and father now, remember? Your grandfather is alive too. No one's gone anymore, Armin.”

 

“Right. Another father, another mother...” Armin smiled sweetly as he said, “Nice people. They care so much. I feel so bad whenever I make them worry so much.”

 

“It's okay, Armin. They know you are trying so hard.” Eren gripped his shoulder tightly, “Now, I know the pills make you distracted but I need you to focus. Can you do that, Armin?”

 

“Try. I'll try. For my dear Eren.” Armin giggled as he placed his hands over Eren's cheeks.

 

Levi frowned at the two's closeness. If the book wasn't lying about everyone's relationship, Armin and Eren's relationship is simply a close friendship, probably familial at most.

 

But still...

 

The touches and pet names were definitely not in the book.

 

Levi cleared his throat and they both look at him. Armin immediately let go of Eren's cheeks and smiled as he stood, “Corporal! You're back!”

 

“Armin!” Eren tried to grab Armin but did not make it in time as Armin placed his hands on Levi's cheeks as well.

 

Levi could only stand there, frozen, as the smaller blond began caressing his cheeks, “Oh, you really are here. Eren, Corporal's here.”

 

“Yes, he is.” Eren grabbed Armin by the shoulders gently and tried to pull him away from Levi as he said, “Please let him go, Armin. You're freaking him out.”

 

Levi glared at Eren as he hissed, “I am not freaking out.”

 

“Of course not. You're our Corporal. Eren's dear corporal. Humanity's Strongest. Always looking at the big picture. Even if...” Armin's hand slowly dropped and he stared at Levi with a sad forlorn look. Armin placed his hand by his mouth and whispered, “I am so so sorry.”

 

Levi couldn't help but ask, “For what?”

 

“Does it have something to do with the ending, Armin?” Eren asked, turning Armin so that he would be facing Eren.

 

Armin closed his eyes and placed his hands over his ears, “Ssshhh. I can't say. I mustn't say.”

 

“Armin.” Eren shook Armin and waited till he had opened his eyes to look at Eren before asking in a slightly terrified tone, “Was the ending of the book... a lie?”

 

Armin whimpered and pushed Eren away. Armin quickly hid behind Levi and whispered quickly, “The steam made it hard to see. Then I saw them. My best friend and our corporal... Corporal was holding him in his arms. I wanted to come closer to them but my legs would not move. They wouldn't move and all I could do was watch as my best friend... the only family I have left... slowly disappear into the steam. And our corporal, our strong corporal, held him as he slowly disappeared. Held him as blood dripped from the gaping wound on his stomach. No one moved. It was futile to try and save them.”

 

Armin hid his face on Levi's back as he continued, “Let them share their final moments together. Let them have this quiet moment as their happy ending. For the world is cruel and unforgiving. It has asked so much of them already. Let them have this moment. Not as Humanity's Hope and Humanity's Strongest. But as a boy who had to grow up too fast and as a man who had lost so much.”

 

“That's the ending of the book.” Levi remembered, frowning as he realized at Armin had just said it word per word with the exception of using the title 'corporal' instead of 'captain'.

 

“We defeated them but we lost so much. Families, friends, comrades...” Armin gripped the fabric of Levi's suit tightly as he continued, “That is the story I have written down. The story we have all agreed to.”

 

“Armin...” Eren stepped towards Levi, staring at the young man hiding behind him, “The last thing I remember is struggling against the Beast Titan. That's as far as my memories go. You told me...”

 

Eren's hands formed tight fists as he corrected, “You wrote that I managed to eat the Beast Titan's neck, that I managed to take his ability as well and that I was able to order all the other Titans to not kill humans, that I ordered them to kill one another.”

 

Armin's grip on Levi's suit tightened as Eren asked, “Was that part true? Did I managed to defeat the Beast Titan? Did I help humanity?! Did I help the war?!”

 

Eren's voice became a soft whisper as he asked, “Did I die... in his arms?”

 

“No.” Armin's soft answer made Levi's heart ache and Eren could only stare in a frozen look of despair as Armin stepped away from Levi. He looked at Eren as he whispered, “You were already dead when Corporal held you.”

 

Tears finally fell from Eren's eyes as he placed his hand on his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly as he whispered, “He... saw me die.”

 

“Yes.” Armin walked towards Eren.

 

Eren closed his eyes and whispered, “He shouldn't have. How could I- I... I didn't...”

 

“All I wanted was that he never had to see any of his squad members die in front of him.” Eren whimpered as he placed his hands over his face.

 

Levi felt like he was an intruder, like he shouldn't be here. This was between Eren and Armin, the two men who remembered everything.

 

And who was he?

 

An outsider.

 

An outsider who looked and acted like their Corporal.

 

Was he really the Corporal?

 

Or is this just some sick joke of a cruel god who feels joy in seeing the pain and sadness of other people?

 

Armin stopped in front of Eren and placed his hands on Eren's upper arm as he said, “He chose you. In the end... he chose you.”

 

“What?” Eren and Levi couldn't help but utter that one word.

 

He chose Eren?

 

Over what?

 

What does that mean?

 

“What do you mean by that?” Eren whispered the question running through Levi's mind, “Chose me? Over what?”

 

Armin stepped back and tilted his head as he asked back in a dazed look, “Chose? Corporal has always chose you, didn't he?”

 

“What do you-”

 

“His precious brat, always chose you to tell his orders, always chose you to relay all his orders, always chose you to accompany him in meetings, Eren Yeager of the Levi Squad.” Armin giggled as he added, “Unofficially the vice-corporal of the squad. Unofficially the nagging mother of the squad while father is out.”

 

Eren blushed and rubbed the tears off his eyes before shouting, “Stop that, Armin! God damn it, I swear I should have done more than punch that horseface for saying that!”

 

“Now, now, mom. Violence is never a good disciplinary action for unruly children like Jean.” Armin said in a sing-song tone, giggling madly.

 

“Armin!” Eren shouted, blushing madly.

 

Levi raised an eyebrow as he commented, “I remember that scene in the book. After that, everyone would call him 'mom' whenever he tried to order them around.”

 

“Yup!” Armin nodded and gave a toothy grin as he said, “Eren was so embarrassed about it. Especially when we slip and call him 'mom' in front of Corporal and the other higher ups.”

 

“Oh god, stop talking, Armin!” Eren begged, grabbing Armin and pulling him away from Levi.

 

“But the best one was when Connie slipped and called Corporal 'dad'.” Armin began giggling uncontrollably while Eren made him sit on the bed. Armin began swaying as he clapped his hands, “Eren looked like he wanted to die right there. We were all frozen in our spot, fearing for our lives. Connie looked like he was going to throw up and soil his pants at the same time.”

 

Armin giggled for so long, he began grasping for air. Eren patted his back as he gently said, “Breathe, Armin. Breathe.”

 

Once he was composed enough, Armin continued, “Then all Corporal said was...”

 

Armin cleared his throat before trying to mimic Levi's voice as he said, “Dad, huh... not bad.”

 

Eren's cheeks were so red he looked like he was overheating while Armin had another giggling fit. Levi couldn't help the small smile appearing on his face.

 

Imagining Eren having the same expression on his face when the Corporal said that was enough to make Levi believe the Corporal did have a sense of humor.

 

And maybe perhaps...

 

Armin began to cough and Eren patted his back as he said, “See? This is what happens when you laugh too much.”

 

“Giggling is a more accurate word, I believe.” Armin managed to say before coughing once more.

 

Eren rolled his eyes and retorted, “Fine, smartass. Here I was trying to defend your masculinity but, sure, if you want to use giggling, fine.”

 

Armin grinned as he asked, “I believe my masculinity has already been obliterated by my looks.”

 

Eren chuckled and patted Armin's back once more before saying, “I'll get you a glass of water, okay?”

 

Eren walked towards Levi and whispered, “Look after him.”

 

Levi nodded and watched as Eren left the room. Once the door closed and he could no longer hear Eren's footsteps, Levi turned to look at Armin. Armin was staring at him with a blank expression. Levi glared at the silent young man and asked, “How long have you been lucid?”

 

Armin shrugged and replied, “Probably around the time Eren asked me what I meant about that whole 'choosing' thing.”

 

“Were you even high in the first place?”

 

Armin grinned at the question and replied, “The effects of that medicine has been lessening for a while now. I guess my body has finally gotten used to it after years of medication.”

 

“And you simply acted like you're still high to not have to answer his question.” Levi summarized with a roll of his eyes before glaring at Armin as he asked, “Why do you not want to answer that question?”

 

Armin stared at Levi for a moment before asking, “Do you remember anything?”

 

“No.” Levi immediately replied before adding, “I don't even know if I believe all this talk of past life and shit.”

 

“That's a natural reaction, really.” Armin commented with a shrug. He continued to stare at Levi as he asked, “Do you hate it? Being compared to someone who may or not be your past life?”

 

Levi narrowed his eyes at Armin as he asked, “Did Eren told you?”

 

“Eren doesn't tell me anything.” Armin said with a smile, “He has this idea that my memories have shattered my mentality. He always asked about me, about my health, my feelings, very mother-like, actually.”

 

“And you never tried to tell him you're alright?” Levi hissed.

 

“I'm not alright.” Armin retorted with a smile, “These memories have shattered my mentality. Just not the same as Eren's. These memories... they drown you, crush you until you couldn't breathe. I really hope, for your sake, you never remember them.”

 

“Really?” Levi smiled bitterly as he said, “Wouldn't it be better for Eren if I did. If I was his Corporal, wouldn't it be better if I remember who I was?”

 

Armin's smile became softer as he replied, “You really don't believe that, do you?”

 

“No. I don't.” Levi looked away as he said, “I love him. I love him as who I am now. Maybe remembering my past life would be easier. That way I can say 'I've loved you before and I love you now' but... did I? Did the Corporal love him?”

 

Armin's smile became sadder as he said, “I don't know.”

 

“Nobody knows, right?” Levi asked sardonically, staring at Armin.

 

“The only one who can answer your question is Corporal himself. I don't even think the Commander knew how he felt about Eren.” Armin placed his hand over his wrist as he explained, “I wrote the book because, deep down, I wanted someone to remember. I wanted someone to find me and tell me I'm not alone. That I am not crazy and these memories really did happen. I wrote the book because I wanted to be with someone who can understand me.”

 

“Then I met Eren.” Armin closed his eyes and continued, “I saw the pain in his eyes and I thought, why? Why him? Of all the people, why does it have to be him?”

 

Armin opened his eyes and said with a sad smile on his face, “I wanted it to be someone else. Maybe Jean or Commander Hange.”

 

“Hange?”

 

“A part of me wished it was Commander Erwin. He would have understood me.” Armin looked at the floor as he whispered, “Anyone but Eren.”

 

Hange and Erwin were also part of their past life?

 

Doesn't this entire thing seem so surreal?

 

“If anyone deserved a clean start, it should be Eren...” Armin raised his head and smiled at Levi as he added, “And you. That's why if I could ask for one thing, I would wish you never remember your past life.”

 

“What happened?” Levi's question came out as a soft whisper, “What really happened to Eren and his Corporal?”

 

Armin smiled sadly as he said, “I can't tell you.”

 

“Why not?” Levi hissed, taking a step forward.

 

Armin simply continued to stare at him as he said, “Because... we promised this is the truth we shall tell. Humanity's Hope died for humanity to survive. Humanity's Strongest died protecting that hope. We have won. Humanity have won over the Titans.”

 

“The truth?” Levi repeated in a hiss, “Well, it seems not everyone agreed with that promise since we have this jackass-”

 

Levi raised the piece of paper as he continued, “Who is asking you why you didn't write the real ending... any idea of who it might be?”

 

The door opened and Eren walked in, just in time to hear Levi's question. Armin didn't seem to be bothered by Eren's appearance and replied, “It could be anyone who survived the final battle. It could be anyone from the Garrison or the Military Police who participated in that operation. It can even be from the Survey Corps. It can be anyone who remembered up till that part. It can be anyone who has heard about the truth from someone who was there that time. Really... you're asking a very broad question.”

 

“Armin...” Eren stepped towards Armin and offered him a glass of water, “Don't you have any ideas at all? Anyone who could have known you live here and survived that operation?”

 

Armin frowned as he took the glass of water before replying, “Anyone who knows my name and figure out I am Battleship AA would know how to find this house. This house is under my name.”

 

“So you have nothing for us?” Levi asked with a frown.

 

“Levi!” Eren hissed at him.

 

“Not really.” Armin shrugged, seemingly not even sorry, “I can tell you this.”

 

Armin stared at Levi as he said, “You can't trust anyone. Everyone you know is a suspect.”

 

Levi narrowed his eyes as he asked, “What do you mean?”

 

“You must have wondered about it. The world is such a big place but you're meeting people you've met before. Oh wait. You don't remember. Right. Forgot about that.” Armin began to rant before shaking his head and continuing, “What I mean is that you have probably met people who was part of our past life. You repeated Commander Hange's name when I said it and you flinched when I said Commander Erwin's name. By the way, how is he? Is he still a handsome man? Does he still work o-”

 

“He's fine, he still is and he's engaged.” Eren cut Armin off in a deadpan tone.

 

“Oh. Shame.” Armin shrugged and commented, “I can actually hear the dozen cries of our fellow soldiers who wanted to get into his pants.”

 

“Armin, focus. Please.” Eren rubbed his temple and Levi had to wonder if Armin usually acted like this.

 

“Where was I? Oh, yes! Warning!” Armin clapped his hands before telling Levi, “In a nutshell, everyone around us are people we know from our past life. Maybe it's a big coincidence. Maybe it's some kind of prerequisite where in reincarnated lives must be near their past lives' acquaintances. For example, perhaps I didn't need to write this book and I would have still met Eren later in life. Or, I was compelled to write this book so I could meet Eren. We can talk about different theories that will support or deny why we're here together right now but that doesn't matter now, does it? I mean, yeah sure, some would go 'of course it matter, you idiot! That's like a big plot hole right there-”

 

“Armin, please stop trying to rationalize this as a plot of a story.” Eren begged, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“EXACTLY!” Armin shouted, pointing at Eren, “This is why I love you, Eren. You always disregard the non-important parts and try to focus on the important parts.”

 

Armin shrugged as he added, “But the problem with that way of thinking is you tend to disregard the seemingly non-important parts which may prove to be important towards the end. But I still love you because of that. It's very cute. Very protagonist-like and, I suppose, some might say 'I love him because he's stupid' is quite an accurate description for that.”

 

“We've talked about this, Armin. You can't say you love me then insult me afterwards.” Eren said in a tone that says 'I am so done with this shit. I am only retorting because it is my duty as the straight man'.

 

“Yes, right. Sorry.” Armin nodded and turned to look at Levi, “Now, where were we? Oh yes. Suspects. Everyone is a suspect because everyone may or may not remember their past life. How can we know which one remembers or not? Of course...”

 

Armin grinned as he said, “I have no idea.”

 

Eren and Levi stared at him for a few seconds before they shouted, “WHAT?!”

 

“Armin, you can't just rant about things like this and end it with-” Eren mimicked Armin's grin and happy tone as he said, “'I have no idea.' NO! You can't do that!”

 

“What was the point of this conversation in the first place then?” Levi added, glaring at Armin.

 

Armin shrugged and asked, “Does every conversation has to have a meaning?”  
  


“This one has to have a meaning, Armin!” Eren retorted, scratching his head in frustration before he asked, “The asshole threatening to kill me sent you a letter-”

 

“This subdivision has no camera nor any kind of security that could help identity who sent the letter. Plus, it was just a piece of paper left in our mail box meaning either it was delivered personally or was asked to be delivered by someone.” Armin retorted before summarizing, “Not helpful.”

 

“We can dust the paper for fingerprints.” Levi suggested and Armin nodded.

 

“That paper had been touched by me, Historia, Ymir, Eren and you. You can't really disregard any of us in the suspect list though.” Armin commented.

 

Levi glared at him as he asked, “Are you suggesting one of us is the killer?”

 

“I'm suggesting there is no evidences that says we aren't.” Armin retorted, smiling at him, “Then again, I don't know the full story of this and I am commenting based on the minimal knowledge I have about our past life and what you and Eren have slipped out... which is really just 'a serial killer wants Eren dead'.”

 

“And you look very calm about it.” Levi commented as he continued to glare at Armin.

 

Armin continued to smile at him and reply, “I'm used to hearing someone wants Eren dead.”

 

“Thanks for the support, Armin.” Eren said in a deadpan tone.

  
Armin chuckled and turned to look at Eren as he said, “I'm a bit hungry. How about we have some of Historia's cookies and tea while you tell me all the gruesome horrors of having a serial killer stalker. Maybe I can help if I know everything there is to know about your current predicaments.”

 

Eren rolled his eyes and replied, “Probably. Fine. I'll bring us tea and cookies.”

 

“Thank you, mom.” Armin said in a singsong tone as Eren began to walk out of the room once more.

 

Eren glared at Armin and hissed, “Stop that.”

 

Armin only giggled as Eren closed the door once more. Once his footsteps could no longer be heard, Armin turned to look at Levi and asked, “So... bodyguard or government official?”

 

Knowing Armin was asking about his occupation, he took out his FBI ID and showed it to Armin as he said, “FBI agent tasked with making sure Eren is safe.”

 

“So... like Criminal Minds?” Armin asked with a nod.

 

Levi glared at him before sighing, “Yes, like Criminal Minds.”

 

“Is Commander Erwin with you? Oh! I know! He's your Hotch, isn't he?” Armin grinned as he clapped.

 

Levi had to mentally thank Isabel for liking American TV shows and forcing him to watch with her because, otherwise, he would have no idea what Armin was saying, “Yes.”

 

“So... not Agents of Shield?” Armin asked with a pout.

 

“No. We aren't.” Levi shook his head.

 

“Shame. Commander Erwin would have looked so nice in a Captain America outfit.” Armin stared at the floor with a dazed look and was silent for a few seconds.

 

It took a few seconds before Levi realized, “Are you... imagining Erwin?”

 

“Huh? Oh! Yes. Definitely.” Armin nodded, grinning as he said, “To be honest, I think Commander Erwin is more of a Nick Fury type than a Steve Rogers type.”

 

Armin sighed as he commented, “I wanted Captain America's actor to play Commander Erwin in the movies. Unfortunately, he was unavailable. Oh well.”

 

Armin waved his hand over his head as if he was swatting something before turning to look at Levi once more, “Now then. Better to ask this now while Eren's away.”

 

“You're wondering why I seem so calm about Eren having a serial killer stalker, aren't you?”

 

“Very.” Levi replied, glaring at Armin.

 

“In all honesty? I guess it's because I saw you.” Armin smiled as he corrected, “Or, more accurately, because I got to talk to you.”

 

“Because of me?” Levi repeated, frowning at Armin.

 

“You'll protect him. I know you will.” Armin said which only made Levi glare at him.

 

“Because I'm the Corporal?” Levi couldn't help the bitterness in his tone.

 

Armin's smile became a bit sadder as he asked, “If... if Eren Yeager was to become an enemy of mankind, what would you do?”

 

Levi frowned at the question. It was completely out of the blue.

 

Armin seemed to have noticed Levi's confusion and he corrected, “For example, all evidences point to Eren being the killer. What would you do?”

 

“I would find evidences that will exonerate him.” Levi replied immediately.

 

“And if such evidence does not exist?” Armin pressed.

 

“I will make sure none of the evidences that implicate him were falsified.” Levi retorted.

 

“And if they were all valid evidences?”

 

“Then...” Levi kept quiet for a second before he replied, “I'll bring him in myself. If all evidences point at him and they are all valid evidences, if everything points at Eren being killer then I will bring him in myself.”

 

“You would choose justice over Eren?” Armin asked, staring at him.

 

Would he?

 

He did love Eren.

 

He knew that.

 

But if he had to...

 

If he had to choose...

 

“Yes.” Levi replied, “My feelings for Eren is irrelevant. If he has broken the law then I will bring him in. But... if there is even a hint of a doubt then I will do everything I can to protect Eren. As long as there is a chance he is innocent, I will keep believing in Eren.”

 

“Even if it means going against everyone?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Armin's smile became softer as he commented, “And that is why I know Eren is in good hands.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter cannot decide if it wants to give information about the past, about the serial killer or talk about feelz and shit. Oh well. Armin being an Erwin fanboy has definitely because I rewatched Avengers and Captain America Winter Soldier. Sorry~


	17. Using Cookies as Props

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin talks a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special mentions to KenziYost, Charmful, SNKshipperofOTPs, AbystanderWhoIsObsessedWithEreri, and Kaze_mizu1. You will understand why I mentioned you guys in this chapter. XD]
> 
> Warning:
> 
> 1 unbeta'ed   
> 2 Lots of blue text getting fired

 

"So, let me see if I get this straight..." Armin dunked a cookie in his glass of milk as he quickly summarized everything Eren and Levi had explained, "A serial killer is on the loose and their signature is killing people who look like past version Eren in the ways present version Eren's characters dies. From this information-"

  
Armin popped the entire cookie into his mouth and continued to talk while chewing, making Levi grimace, "the FBI concluded Eren is the endgame of the serial killer-"

  
Armin gulped before continuing, "And seeing serial killer other more pattern-y signature of cutting the victims' neck, Eren inferred this killer remembers our past life."

  
Armin sipped his glass of milk before asking, "Did I summarize everything correctly?"

  
"Yes." Levi replied with gritted teeth. After Eren had returned with a plate full of cookies, tea for him and Levi while Armin got milk, Eren had explained everything while Armin ate silently. Levi had remained silent the entire time, sipping his tea.

  
Armin hummed and nodded. Levi used the silence to say, "I would prefer it if you didn't tell anybody about this. You're not even suppose to know there's a serial killer targeting Eren in the first place."

  
Eren smiled at Levi apologetically while Armin scoffed and said in a dismissing manner, "If anybody asks, I'll tell them Eren told me about a freaky stalker who sent him a head. No one will pay too much attention to a crazy author anyway."

  
"You're not crazy, Armin." Eren immediately said, frowning at Armin.

  
"Yeah but it's easier to get away with things when they think you are." Armin retorted with a grin. He reached out to grab another piece of cookie as he continued, "Now then. Let me just say a few things first."

  
Armin grabbed a cookie as he said, "Commander Erwin's plan is stupid... if this is even a plan."

  
Armin pointed his newly acquired cookie at Levi, "Making you Eren's security detail and letting Eren stay in your apartment instead of a more secured place is a blatant move to force the two of you talk about your feelings and turn this entire situation to a romantic drama plot."

  
Levi glared at Armin while Eren defended, "I don't think Erwin would jeopardize the safety of the public because of us."

  
"Aaahh. But are you talking about Commander Erwin Smith or FBI agent Erwin Smith?" Armin argued, pointing his cookie at Eren. Armin raised an eyebrow as he commented, "You have always been a bit of a Commander Erwin fanboy ever since we were kids, Eren. Your views of present Erwin Smith could be compromised because of your respect for our dear hot mouth-watering-"

  
"I get it, Armin. Stop making both of us sound like new recruits who daydreams about their commanding officers, please." Eren quickly said in an annoyed tone. He narrowed his eyes and reasoned, "And I have met Erwin. I might not know him that well but I still believe he would not jeopardize this problem just to get Levi and I..."

  
Eren looked at the floor and mumbled, "... together..."

  
Armin pointed his cookie back at Levi and asked, "Your comments, FBI Agent Magnolia?"

  
Levi continued to glare at Armin as he said in a controlled tone, "Erwin's priority is capturing the serial killer."

  
Armin nodded and leaned back. He grabbed the cookie with both his hands and said, "So taking your opinions about Erwin Smith's priority and personality in consideration, I can think of one conclusion to why he would set up a blatant romantic drama for both of you."

  
"He already has a plan on how to capture the serial killer and you-" Armin looked at Levi as he broke the cookie in two, "-are not part of that plan."

  
Levi and Eren stared at Armin with wide eyes. Armin shrugged and dunked the piece on his right hand as he added, "Of course, with that way of thinking, we can also expand it to mean Eren is not part of that plan."

  
Armin frowned as he commented, "But if that was true then that would suck because that means that the mystery part is not important and would actually be resolved in the background while your relationship with Eren is the main plot."

  
Eren rubbed his temple as he reminded Armin, "Please, Armin, don't think of our current situation as a plot."

  
"The pro of this set up is nothing bad will happen to either of you." Armin shrugged and ate the milk coated cookie, obviously not paying attention to Eren's plea. He gulped before continuing, "Now, if the mystery is the main plot then another theory pops up."

  
Armin pointed the broken piece at Eren as he announced, "Erwin Smith is the serial killer and he plans to kill Eren which will end..."

  
Armin pointed the piece at Levi as he continued dramatically, "With you being framed as the serial killer!"

  
"WHAT?!" Eren and Levi both shouted at the same time.

  
Armin raised an eyebrow and asked, "Is that theory really surprising? I mean, come on."

  
"You..." Armin pointed his cookie at Levi, "... are, without a doubt, the most suspicious of all the suspects."

  
Armin raised his free hand and raised his point finger, "You have a history with Eren which ended badly."

  
Armin rolled his eyes when he noticed Eren look at him with wide eyes while Levi turned to stare at Eren, "It doesn't take a genius to see the awkwardness between the two of you. Of course, Eren had told me he met you five years ago. Taking in consideration how Eren looked like a kicked puppy when he said that, I figured you two dated and it ended badly. At the very least, you guys didn't say goodbye pleasantly if you even said goodbye in the first place."

  
"Now, I've talked to you and you said you love Eren-" Eren blushed at Armin's words but Armin paid no attention to him as he continued to stare at Levi, "-which means you're most probably trying to win him over again. That raises my second point."

  
Armin raised his middle finger as he continued, "You're desperate."

  
"Levi is not desperate!" Eren immediately defended Levi, glaring at Armin.

  
Armin rolled his eyes and corrected in a slightly sarcastic tone, "Fine, it's easy to paint Levi as desperate. How long have you been single?"

  
Levi glanced at Eren quickly before answering in a slow wary manner, "Eren... has always been my only relationship."

  
Armin raised an eyebrow and asked in a slightly sardonic tone, "Are you even trying to look innocent? Come on! That answer is the same as saying "Hey, stop looking, guys, most suspicious suspect right here, come at me!""

  
"Armin!" Eren shouted and Armin rolled his eyes once more.

  
"Here's how this theory is gonna go." Armin dunk the remaining cookie to his glass of milk as he quickly said, "We have an older man who has been obsessing over the famous Eren Yeager for five years now ever since their ugly, ugly breakup."

  
Armin popped the piece in his mouth and continued as he chewed, "Said man probably obsessed over Eren Yeager's career ever since he started to gain popularity in Japan."

  
Armin gulped before asking, "Am I wrong?"

  
Levi looked at the floor as he mumbled, "No."

  
"Eh?" Eren turned to stare at Levi with wide eyes.

  
"Really, Eren? You're surprised that a man who said he has been in love with you for five years now has been virtually stalking you like a freaky mentally unstable hardcore stalker fan?" Armin commented sardonically while his eyebrows were raised but did not bother to wait for Eren to reply and continued, "So said man is probably one of the most obsessed fans of Eren Yeager, as I have said just now. Repeating it for emphasis, people. The killing, as we know, happened last December, after the premiere of the movie adaptation of the first book that is about our past life."

  
Armin reached out for another cookie as he continued, "It is highly likely that the movie triggered the man's memories of his past life as Corporal Levi of the Survey Corps."

  
"Levi doesn't-"

  
"- remember." Armin finished Eren's argument and pointed at Eren with his newly acquired cookie, "Yes, yes, we know that. This is a theory, Eren. Of course..."

  
Armin turned to point the cookie at Levi, "We can argue that he is lying about not remembering at all. Maybe you do remember. You remember everything and that made you snap."

  
"Eren remembered when he was nine and he broke but, because he's Eren Yeager, he learned to pretend he's not broken." Armin placed the cookie in front of his face, "I remembered when I was fifteen and I broke. Unlike Eren, I went crazy for a time and wrote the book as a coping mechanism and an SOS for others who may remember. Now, I'm broken some times and I pretend to be broken other times because it's so much easier to pretend you're broken when people expect you to be broken."

  
"Maybe you remembered and you broke." Armin argued, blocking his view of Levi's face with the cookie. he held the cookie with both hands as he continued, "And unlike Eren who had new memories of less than nine years, because I am totally not counting our toddler year since the chances of us actually remember that early is slim to none, and me who had memories of less than fifteen years, you had twenty plus years of new memories."

  
"Cram in more than thirty years of painful memories and you snapped." Armin said as he broke the cookie in half. Armin stared at Levi as he moved his hands so that Levi's face was between the two broken pieces, "On one hand..."

  
Armin moved his left hand so that the piece covered Levi's face, "You have memories of lost and pain over Eren Yeager, a younger man you broke up with five years ago and left you. On the other hand..."

  
Armin dropped his left hand and moved his right hand to cover Levi's face with the broken piece, "You have memories of the lost and pain over Eren Yeager, your subordinate and one of the people you have cared for who died in front of you."

  
Armin raised his left hand once more and moved both hands so the pieces were between Levi's face again as he said, "Now, this is where I can branch of to different plot twists. The first plot twist is Levi Magnolia..."

  
Armin moved his left hand to cover Levi's face once more, "... is innocent. He has no recollections of the memories of Corporal Levi nor did he commit any murder as far as he knows. In this plot twist, the murderer is..."

  
Armin moved both hands so that it was the cookie piece of his right hand that was covering Levi's face, "Another personality that appeared because of the movie. Unable to accept the memories of Corporal Levi, you created another personality and crammed all of Corporal's Levi in that one but this personality is broken just like me and Eren. Eren broke and the result is a man who distrust his own feelings for other people. I broke and I find refuge in being crazy and misunderstood. You, on the other hand, broke and created another personality that holds all of Corporal Levi's memories and that broke that personality. This broken personality is crazy and thinks the reason for his suffering is the book that forced you to remember your past memories. He transfers all that hate and pain into a certain driving force in your life."

  
Armin moved his left hand towards Eren and continued, "Levi Magnolia's desire to be with Eren Yeager once more. This twisted personality twisted your desire to be with Eren and Corporal Levi's desire to defeat all the Titans. Perhaps this personality also realized Eren remembered which means Levi Magnolia's Eren Yeager is Corporal Levi's Eren Yeager. This twisted personality deemed Eren Yeager as a Titan, the last Titan."

  
"The victims are products of Levi's subconscious battling. The twisted personality wants to kill Eren, the last Titan, but Levi Magnolia, the main personality, and Corporal Levi, the memories, do not agree with that. Because of this, the twisted personality kills people who reminds him of Eren in the ways Eren's characters die, slowly but surely winning against the control of the main personality and the memories and feelings of Corporal Levi. And this will end with the twisted personality killing Eren Yeager." Armin dropped both his hands and added with a shrug, "Or this totally ends like the book ending of Hannibal and you and Eren drop off the face the planet, live in some random European country in peace in a dark-ish Karma Houdini happy ending. Whether Eren is crazy enough to love your twisted personality or he gets Stockholm Syndrome Clarice version are just minor variations of this ending."

  
Before Eren or Levi could say anything, Armin happily announced, "Another plot twist is that instead of making a twisted personality-"

  
Armin placed both pieces of cookies in his right hand and crushed them, "You remembered and you broke. No twisted other personality. Levi Magnolia is the killer and you know you killed all of them."

  
Armin dusted the crushed cookies in his milk as he continued, "Killing the victims are just a way to meet Eren personally 'cause you can't meet him in your free time because of your work or you think Eren won't meet you unless he's forced too because, well, you guys did break up."

  
"This plot twist can end in three ways, at the very least." Armin raised his point finger and said, "You kill Eren. Bad ending, absolutely bad ending. Downer ending to the max. Doesn't matter if you get caught or not. Both of them are bad endings."

  
Armin raised his middle finger and continued, "You and Eren get back together. You don't kill Eren and the serial killer 'mysteriously disappears'. Happy ending... I guess. Karma Houdini like the other plot twist. Maybe someone will find it suspicious but you probably hid your tracks really, really well. Or not... then it becomes a variation of the third way which is..."

  
Armin raised his ring finger and continued, "You get caught before you kill Eren. Absolute downer ending. Unless, of course, Eren still loves you and visits you in prison then it becomes a bittersweet ending. Until you get the death penalty then it goes back to bad ending territory. Or you plead insanity, makes use of your old memories and gets sentenced to a mental institution. Another bittersweet ending if Eren still loves you and sorta downer ending if he doesn't."

  
Armin grabbed his glass of milk and shrugged, "That's just two plot twists that can be used to make you the killer."

  
Armin sipped before he concluded, "And, if present day Erwin Smith is just as cunning as our Commander Erwin Smith, he can totally pull this off."

  
"But..." Eren rubbed his temple as he shouted, "... that is just insane!"

  
"I know, right?" Armin asked with glee, making Levi wonder if Armin was really faking his insanity or was actually faking his sanity.

  
"Come on, a simple 'Levi killed Eren because Eren won't love him' frame-up is too simple. It's too bland. Too..." Armin frowned as he said, "... normal."

  
Armin shrugged and said, "Anyway, I'm just throwing out theories here. I mean, in this kind of set up, the killer is most probably already introduced. Oh yeah, did you see this month's edition of Vogue? I know you still have mixed feelings for Annie but you have to admit, she looked absolutely stunning in that cover."

  
Eren frowned as he asked, "Why are you bringing up Annie all of the sudden?"

  
It took a moment before Levi realized who they were talking about, "Annie Leonhart? The actress?"

  
"Yup." Armin nodded and explained, "You might be familiar to her if I call her the female giant?"

  
Levi's eyes widened as he asked, "She's the female giant who killed the captain's squad back in book 1?"

  
"Yes." Armin nodded once more before continuing, "Now, to answer Eren's question, why did I bring up Annie all of the sudden? Weeellllll, following Knox's Decalogue-"

  
"Knox?" Eren and Levi repeated the name.

  
"The criminal must have been mentioned early in the story." Armin recited and placed the glass back on the table as he asked, "Now then, I brought up Annie because, come on, if we're going to find a killer, Bertolt, Reiner and Annie are the most suspicious ones in this kind of plot. So I'm throwing up their names now so they can totally be suspects and not invalidate the first commandment."

  
Armin shrugged as he added, "Of course, if we have already passed the 'early' part of this story then this random introduction would be moot."

  
Eren frowned as he asked, "So what? You're mentioning them now because of a rule for writing crime stories?"

  
"Detective stories." Armin corrected as he grabbed another cookie before saying, "Personally, I do not know if Knox even applies in your situation. For one, we don't know who the detective in this plot is. Is it-"

  
Armin pointed his cookie at Levi and said, "FBI agent Levi Magnolia? Or..."

  
Armin pointed the cookie at Eren and said, "Actor Eren Yeager?"

  
"Let's face it. Whoever is not the detective..." Armin bit the cookie before concluding, "Is one of the most suspicious suspect of all. Unless they're the Watson of this set-up. But, for the sake of this conversation, let's just go with the assumption that there is no Watson or the Watson can totally be the killer."

  
Levi narrowed Armin and asked, "Even Eren?"

  
Armin scoffed and replied, "Especially Eren."

  
Eren remained silent as Armin explained, "Eren is an actor. A good one, I might add. Now, five years ago, you guys broke up. Imagine it. An already broken man gets crushed by a man who had been his pillar of support back in his past life. It's not really a stretch to think that Eren could have done all these killings as some kind of sick way to try and kill 'himself'. More specifically, his past self. We can even cut off the whole break up and just go with the whole Eren watching the movie last year triggered him to finally snap. Or this is just Eren's way of finally getting Levi to 'look at him' again if we really, really want to stay down that road."

  
"Or..." Armin bit his cookie once more before continuing, "We can go for the dual personality plot as well."

  
"Why would Eren get a dual personality?" Levi glared as he argued, "Okay, fine. I get traumatized and developed a fucked up dual personality but Eren remembered when he was nine and he already accepted it."

  
"It doesn't have to be his memories." Armin said solemnly. He stared at Eren and asked, "You know what I am talking about, right?"

  
Eren stared at Armin silently for a moment before asking, "It's the real owner of my left eye, isn't it?"

  
Armin bit his bottom lip as Eren continued, "In this plot of yours, my dual personality is the Beast Titan..."

  
"Yes. It would kinda fit." Armin rubbed the back of his neck as he said, "Your left eye isn't the eye of Eren Yeager. That's the eye of the Beast Titan that might have transferred to you because you fused with the Beast Titan."

  
"Just because I have that Titan's eye does not mea-" Eren stopped and stared at the floor for a second. He raised his head and asked with wide eyes, "Did you say... I fused with the Beast Titan?"

  
Armin immediately covered his mouth and Eren asked, "Armin... you wrote I ate the Beast Titan's neck... Did I? Or did I fuse with him instead?!"

  
Armin lowered his hand and whispered, "You fused with him."

  
Eren's jaw dropped at those words. Armin hurriedly said, "But you did manage to order all the Titans to die before... before..."

  
"Did I die... because I fused with him?" Eren whispered, Armin looked away and kept quiet. Eren leaned back on the back of the chair he was sitting on and looked at the floor. Eren rubbed his temple and mumbled, "I need some air."

  
Eren got up and briskly walked out of the room. Once the door closed, Armin began nibbling on his cookie while Levi stared at the floor. Armin didn't bother to look at Levi, staring at his glass of milk like it held the answer to life itself as he said, "You should find him sitting on the steps outside."

  
Levi stood but didn't move when he heard Armin tell him, "I truly wish both of you aren't the killer."

  
Levi stared at Armin and asked, "If you could... if you could write our current situation as a book, who would you make as the killer?"

  
Armin raised his head and replied, "A random person who had been in the final battle and survived. A random soldier from the other military branches. Someone... we didn't know. But..."

  
Armin smiled sadly as he added, "This world is cruel. The real killer is probably someone we actually knew. It would have more impact if it was."

  
Levi didn't know what to say to that so he simply started to walk out of the room. He closed the door behind him, leaving Armin alone in his own room. Levi began walking down the stairs, hearing Petra's and Historia's voices coming from one of the rooms in the first floor. He paid no attention to them and walked out of house. Just like Armin said, Eren was sitting on the steps leading to the front door. Eren was staring at the road in front of him. He didn't bother turning around as he said, "It's not Annie."

  
Levi didn't say anything and simply joined Eren in sitting on the steps. Eren took that as a cue to continue and explained, "Annie... she... she wasn't in the final battle."

  
Eren looked down and said, "I met her last year. When we were filming Assault on Giants... figures she would play the part of her past self. Bertolt's her manager too. He and Marco get along really well. Me and Annie? We... uuhh... I suppose you've heard the rumors about how we have unresolved sexual tensions or something. I think it's just... my past self's murderous intents, really. She's beautiful, yeah, but I will never be romantically attracted to her. She's... she smiles now. And not the smiles she showed in the movie. She really smiles. I..."

  
Eren sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as he explained, "I don't know what to think about it. She looks like her. She acts like her. But there are other things, other quirks that makes her different. Makes her..."

  
Eren finally turned to look at Levi as he finished, "... better."

  
Levi turned to look at Eren as well and simply stared. He didn't know what to say. He didn't even know if he should say anything at all. Eren continued to stare at him with pain in his eyes. Eren gripped the fabric of his pants tightly as he admitted, "I'm scared. What if..."

  
Eren stopped and sighed. He looked back at the road and admitted, "I... I don't believe I have a dual personality. I don't even believe that fusing with the Beast Titan is evidence enough to actually have another personality. As far as I'm concerned, this left eye is a reminder of that life. Perhaps even the Beast Titan's final 'fuck you' to me."

  
"What frightens me is... the killer being someone I cared about. Someone who snapped because I played as myself in the movies. Someone who started killing because of me." Eren leaned forward and whispered, "I'm afraid that it is you."

  
"If... if I am the killer..." Levi took a deep breath before asking, "What would you do?"

  
"I would let you kill me." Eren replied, smiling sadly as he turned to look at Levi. Eren placed a hand on Levi's cheek and whispered, "If you want to kill me, I would let you. If you want... if you want to be with me... I would go with you. I would let you do whatever you want with me."

  
Levi stared at Eren for a moment before whispering, "That's stupid."

  
"You would honestly do that? You would let me kill you?" Levi asked, gently pushing Eren away. Levi sighed and turned to face the road as he asked, "Is it because you think I'm your corporal?"

  
Eren lowered his hand and turned to look at the road as well before replying, "No. I think... my answer would have been the same whoever it might have been."

  
"That's just screwed up." Levi commented in annoyance. He shook his head and said, "Armin asked me before what I would do if you were the killer."

  
"You'll arrest me." Eren said without any hesitation.

  
Levi nodded and asked, "How did you know?"

  
"Because I know you." Eren smiled softly as he added, "Your feelings for me will not matter. You will always choose the safety of others over your own feelings."

  
Levi turned to look at him and asked, "Do you also know I would do everything I can to prove you're not the killer?"

  
Eren's eyes slightly widened at those words. He turned to look at Levi silently listening as Levi continue, "If there is even a very small chance you had been framed, I would protect you. Until the evidences prove to be valid and indisputable, I will be by your side."

  
Eren dug his nails on his knees but remained silent. Levi clasped his hands together as he said, "I will protect you, Eren. Even if it means protecting you from yourself."

  
"Levi..." Eren leaned forward, placing his hand on Levi's knee as he tilted his head slightly.

  
The sound of a door opening made Eren pull away immediately. He scooted away from Levi and turned towards the house to the right. A large man with blond hair stepped out of the house and stretched. As if sensing Eren and Levi were staring at him, he turned to look at their direction. He grinned and greeted, "'Morning, Eren! Visiting Armin again?"

  
Eren smiled and nodded, "Yeah. Early morning visit. Going out for a jog, Reiner?"

  
The large man named Reiner walked towards the fence separating his house from Armin's and rested his arms at the top of the fence. He nodded and offered, "Yup. Want to join me?"

  
Eren chuckled and replied with a smile, "You really need to get it over your head, Reiner. I am not interested in jogging with you or going out with you."

  
Reiner didn't even seemed offended. He simply laughed and shook his head. He grinned at Eren and said, "Hey, can't blame a guy for trying to score a date with a hot actor, right?"

  
"Good bye, Reiner." Eren said as he continued to smile at Reiner with amusement.

  
"See you later, Eren." Reiner replied with a grin. He nodded at Levi and walked out of the lot. Once he was by the sidewalk, he began jogging. He waved at Eren and Levi when he passed Armin's house before taking a turn. Eren and Levi watched Reiner jog until they could no longer see him.

  
Once Reiner was out of view, Eren sighed and stood. He dusted his ass before saying, "That was the Armored Titan in our past life. Now, he's just Armin's flirty neighbor who harbors a crush for both Armin and Historia."

  
Eren grinned as he commented, "He probably just has a thing for cute blondes."

  
"He seemed to like you too." Levi commented without any malice. Reiner seemed like a nice guy and it all seemed like some kind of friendly flirting.

  
Eren chuckled and shook his head before explaining, "That's because he finds it funny to flirt with an actor. He's not serious. It's just his way of talking to me."

  
Levi hummed but didn't say anything. Eren turned to face the door and said, "We should go back. Armin might be worried."

  
Eren began walking towards the door but stopped once he was holding the door knob. He didn't look at Levi as he said, "You..."

  
Levi turned to face him and Eren turned as well. Eren smiled at him softly as he said, "You're the only one I would be willing to be with even if you turned out to be the killer."

  
Levi frowned as he asked, "So you're okay with dying for anyone but if I go all Hannibal on you, you'll be willing to be my Clarice?"

  
Eren chuckled and shook his head. He leaned on the door and continued to smile softly as he corrected, "You don't need to drug me like Clarice. I would go with you out of my own free will."

  
Levi stood and commented, "That's fucked up."

  
Eren shrugged and retorted in a nonchalant manner, "I will never be able to say no to you. I can resist all I want but, in the end... I can never say no to you."

  
Levi's eyebrows furrowed and Eren added, "And I'm not saying this because of my feelings for the Corporal. I'm saying this because of my feelings for you, Levi."

  
"That's not the same as love, Eren." Levi said as Eren turned the knob and pushed the door open.

  
Eren smiled sadly and whispered as he entered, "I know."

 

%MCEPASTEBIN%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. That was... long.
> 
> Just to clear stuff up, I am using Knox's decalogues in the mystery part... or I am trying to, anyway. This is my first time actually writing a freaking mystery-ish fic so, yeah, hahahaha, good luck to me XD
> 
> In case someone asks why I am using Knox' and not Van Dine... wwweeeelllll, I have two main reasons.  
> 1\. I already screwed Van Dine's 3rd rule "No love interest" because this is, first and foremost, about Levi and Eren's relationship.  
> 2\. Because I read Knox's Decalogue first due to Umineko no Naku Koro ni. Okay, fine, they do use Van Dine as well but they used Knox first and THAT one stuck to me.
> 
> Now then. Let's see... what else should I say. Oh, yes! Armin's theories are neither confirmed nor denied. So... as far as we are concern, they are still on the table... if you guys support any of them.
> 
> Just, a little tidbit... I did like Hannibal's book ending. Now, I'm not saying that's the ending this fic will have but I'm not exactly denying it as well.
> 
> Take my author's notes and replies to your theories... with caution. Mwuhahaha.


	18. Additional Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi feels a migraine coming up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is a day late TTATT  
> I had a busy weekend but, hey, better late than never, right? XD  
> Just a heads up, I MIGHT not be able to update this week because I'm taking JLPT N3 this Sunday (oh god, I am so not prepared OTL)  
> It's not sure if I will be able to update BDR and CaRB but, just to be sure, I'm giving you guys a heads up.
> 
> Warning:  
> 1 unbeta'ed like usual  
> 2 some 104 bantering  
> 3 a bit of acting...

Levi and Eren went straight to the kitchen where Historia and Petra were making pancakes by the stove while Ymir was sitting by the counter, sipping a mug that smelled like strong coffee. Next to Ymir was Armin who was still eating cookies. Levi quickly glanced the entire room and saw Oluo standing by the corner where he had a clear view of the door and the window. Oluo nodded at him and greeted, "Hey, boss."

  
"Oh, boss!" Petra smiled at him and said, "Pancakes will be ready in a minute."

  
Historia flipped the pancake currently in the pan before turning to smile at him as she asked, "You guys can stay for breakfast, right? It's the least we can do for calling you out so early."

  
Eren glanced at Levi who simply shrugged. Taking that as Levi silently saying it's Eren's choice, Eren chuckled softly and replied, "Sure. I can never say no to the best pancake in the world, Historia."

  
"Mikasa's going to force-feed you her pancakes if she heard that." Armin teased in a sing-song tone, making Eren grin at him.

  
"That only means I can just hope no one would tells my dear cousin I said that then." Eren playfully retorted which made Ymir smirk slyly.

  
"Oh-hoh, now that's interesting. Armin dear, you wouldn't happen to know the number of Eren's lovely cousin now, do you?" Ymir asked with a manic grin on her face.

  
Eren raised an eyebrow and warned with a grin, "Call Mikasa and tell her about the pancakes and I'll take Historia out to dinner."

  
Ymir mockingly gasped and dramatically said, "You wouldn't dare!"

  
Eren shrugged and turned to look at Historia, grinning playfully as he asked, "How about it, Historia? Wanna go out to dinner with one of the most famous actors in the world?"

  
Historia hummed and grinned as she replied, "Well, it has been a long time since I pretended I like boys."

  
"Historia, my love, the apple to my eyes, my dear angelic goddess-" Ymir got off her chair and knelt in front of Historia as she dramatically asked, "You wouldn't spend a night with a man when you have me, right?"

  
"Oh, I don't know, Ymir." Historia shrugged and flipped the pancake once more as she said, "Eren has always had a soft spot in my heart."

  
Ymir gasped and Armin scoffed. Armin continued to chew as he commented, "Eren has a soft spot on everyone's heart."

  
"Not to me!" Ymir declared, "I demand a duel, fair ser!"

  
Eren raised an eyebrow and asked, "You know I'm going to kick your fairy ass right, Ymir?"

  
"I've been training." Ymir said with a smirk before adding, "And, for the last time, he's not a fairy!"

  
"Pointy ears, blond hair, tights? Either he's a fairy or he's Peter Pan." Eren shrugged and said, "Fine. I guess I can kick your ass before breakfast."

  
"Bring it, Princess!" Ymir grinned as she stood. Eren grinned back and was about to follow Ymir out of the kitchen when his phone vibrated.

  
Eren took out his phone and frowned as he said, "Sorry, Ymir. I think I'll have to take a rain-check on that one."

  
Eren accepted the call and placed his phone by his ear as he greeted, "Hey, Marco. What's up?"

  
"Nooo!" Ymir groaned and returned to her sit as she bemoaned dramatically, "You can't take a rain-check over a duel! I just found an awesome combo to kick your peachy ass with."

  
Eren smiled apologetically at Ymir before replying to Marco over the phone, "Uh-huh. Seven? Oh, yeah. I remember. Where was it? Okay... Well..."

  
Eren tapped his wrist and stared at Armin and Ymir expectantly. Armin sipped his milk before replying, "Six thirty."

  
Eren groaned and rubbed his forehead as he said, "Uuhh... We'll be there before seven, I promise."

  
Eren grabbed Levi's wrist and began dragging him out of the kitchen as he apologized, "Sorry, duty calls. Rain-check on that duel, Peter Pan."

  
"Yeah, screw you too, Peach." Ymir waved in a dismissing manner.

  
"Rain-check on the pancakes, Historia." Eren said to Historia as he ended the call, not paying attention to Ymir.

  
Historia waved as she said, "Stay for tea next time, okay?"

  
Eren nodded and grinned at her. He turned towards Armin and asked, "Call me later?"

  
"Yes, mother." Armin grinned as he waved.

  
Petra and Oluo quickly followed them out of the house and Eren got in the car, dragging Levi to the back sit. Oluo got to the driver's side while Petra sat on the passenger's side. Eren began tapping on his phone for a few seconds before showing it to Oluo and asking, "You know how to get to this address?"

  
Oluo nodded and said, "Sure. I can get us there in fifteen minutes tops."

  
Oluo's eyes widened and he turned to stare at Eren as he asked, "Is that where you're filming the season finale?!"

  
Eren blinked at Oluo's giddy attitude and nodded as he drawled, "Kinda...?"

  
"I'll get you there in ten minutes!" Oluo exclaimed and turned the engine on. Without waiting for any of them to buckle up, Oluo sped out of the quiet subdivisions, making Levi grit his teeth as he heard the burning of the tires.

  
Levi and Eren kept quiet while Petra screamed at Oluo to 'slow down, you mad man!' and 'god damn it, Oluo, if we crash and die, I'm going to haunt your sorry ass!' much to the amusement of Eren. True to Oluo's announcement, they managed to arrive at a nice quiet park in ten minutes (technically 10 minutes 12 seconds). They all got out of the car, Eren blinking and shaking his head slightly as he tried to regain his sense of direction and balance.

  
"Eren!" Eren smiled as Marco jogged towards them together with two women, "Thank goodness, you're here."

  
"Hey, Marco." Eren greeted sheepishly, “Got here before seven, see?”

  
"No time for pleasantries, Mr. Yeager. We need to get you ready five minutes ago!" One of the women who had followed Marco whined, grabbing Eren's wrist.

  
Levi grimaced at the wrong grammar... or was that supposed to be a jab on Eren's late appearance?

  
"Oh dear. What happened to your hair?! It looks like a bird's nest!" The other woman complained in such a grave tone that it seemed like the disarray of Eren's hair was the end of the world.

  
"Chop chop, Mr. Yeager!" The two women manhandled Eren towards one of the trailers, fussing over his hair and, apparently, lack of foundation.

  
Levi seriously did not want to hear what else they have to complain about.

  
"Petra, go make sure Eren doesn't get into trouble." Levi ordered, sending Petra to the wolves.

  
"Yes, boss!"

  
...

  
Apparently Petra was more than happy to 'observe' Eren being manhandled by two women bent on making him look 'presentable'.

  
And, if the frown was any indication, Oluo wanted to 'observe' as well.

  
"Oluo, check the perimeter." Levi ordered as he took out his phone.

  
"Yes, sir!" Oluo shouted and hurriedly ran off.

  
A quick glance at Oluo's direction showed that the eager agent was looking around, dumbstruck and awing over the props and actors.

  
Levi could feel a migraine coming.

  
That or the need to shoot something...

  
Levi growled loudly and typed a quick text to Erwin, updating their status before pocketing his phone once more. He turned and noticed Marco staring at him. He raised his eyebrow at him but remained quiet. Marco took this as a sign to ask, "How's... Armin?"

  
Levi shrugged and replied, "He seems to be alright..."

  
"Oh, that's good!" Marco nodded, smiling softly as he commented, "Eren treats him like a younger brother."

  
"I noticed." Levi replied, not really sure how to talk to Eren's manager.

  
Marco seemed unaffected by Levi's curt replies and he said, "I hope Eren's not been bothering you too much. He can be a handful at times."

  
A small smile appeared on Levi's face as he commented, "He is a brat."

  
Marco chuckled and nodded as he added, "But he's a good kid."

  
"He is." Levi's smile faltered as he mumbled, "Maybe a bit too good."

  
Before they could continue their conversation, the door to the trailer opened and Eren came out. Instead of the casual clothes Eren wore when they went to Armin's house, Eren was wearing the clothes of the leader of one of the most ancient supernatural races observing Earth. He wore a dark brown trench coat over a forest green buttoned shirt and black tight slacks. He also wore a pair of ankle-high military boots and a single silver dangling earring with a dark green opal gem at the end. His hair now had a windswept look and he had a yellow contact lens over his green eye. Eren nodded at them silently before walking towards one of the benches. Marco and Levi followed him with Petra enthusiastically walking next to Levi.

  
Levi felt like he needed a headache pill when he noticed Petra was also looking dumbstruck over the props and actors around them.

  
Eren walked to where an older panicking man and a bored looking blonde were standing. It took a minute for Levi to recognize the bored looking blonde as Annie Leonhart, a fellow actress who seemed to be one of Eren's usual love interest.

 

The panicky man was...

  
Yeah.

  
Nope.

  
Levi didn't know him.

  
"That's Kitts Woerman, one of the directors of this series." Marco whispered, seeming to know about Levi's internal dilemma. They both watched as Kitts continued to talk with dramatic hand gestures and Annie looked increasingly bored as time passes by while Eren's polite smile turned more forced as Kitts continued.

  
"He seems... a handful..." Levi commented, trying not to show his more colorful vocabulary in front of a lot of famous people.

  
"It can't be helped. This scene wasn't meant to be in the finale but the higher ups decided to squeeze it in." A tall, fidgeting man said, trying (and failing) to hide his grimace with a smile, "Oh dear. I hope he doesn't get too worked up with Annie..."

  
"Levi, this is Bertolt Hoover, Annie's manager." Marco introduced him to the fidgeting man, "Bertolt, this is Levi, Eren's new bodyguard."

  
"Oh, hello." Bertolt nodded at him and smiled grimly as he corrected, "Marco is too nice of a person to say it but I'm more of Annie's errand boy than her manager."

  
"Nonsense! Annie is lucky to have someone as kind as you as her manager!" Marco said with a smile, making Bertolt blush in embarrassment.

  
"Excuse me but what did you mean they had to squeeze this in?" Petra asked, not bothering to hide her inner fangirl.

  
"The finale is already finished and ready to be televised but the upper management decided to add this scene a week ago. Kitts' having a mental breakdown because he's afraid this will botch the entire finale or it won't make the cut or... well..." Bertholt shrugged as he concluded, "Kitts' a worrywart."

  
"But what's the scene about?" Petra pressed, her big eyes gleaming with glee.

  
Levi closed his eyes and mentally tried to will his migraine away.

  
Marco grinned and said, "Wait for a bit and you'll find out."

  
Petra pouted at those words.

  
"Ready in 5!" Someone shouted and Marco pushed Levi and Petra to one side where most of the crew were standing. A few minutes later, Oluo managed to find them. He quickly told Levi that nothing seemed out of the ordinary before becoming enraptured at the entire scene, especially towards the bench where Eren and Annie were sitting.

  
Eren and Annie were whispering to one another and Eren had a grin on his face while Annie had an amused smirk on hers.

  
"Last Resort, Scene 780, Take One!" One of the assistant directors shouted and both Eren and Annie stopped talking. Annie patted Eren's kneecap once before she stood and walked away, stopping next to one of the cameras while Eren leaned forward, resting his arms on his lap, and stared in front of him.

 

Eren took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He exhaled slowly and opened his eyes, his entire face schooled into a grim expression.

  
Kitts' hands were shaking as he shouted, "ACTION!"

  
Annie slowly walked towards the bench, staring at Eren with cold blue eyes. She stiffly sat next to Eren and greeted, "Grand Master."

  
Eren grimly smiled as he commented, "I would have expected that the elders would have stripped me of that title already."

  
Annie hummed and continued to look ahead as she said in an emotionless tone, "The elders are still debating on your fate, my lord."

  
"How many times must I tell you to not call me that?" Eren mused but continued to smile grimly at whatever was in front of them.

  
"I will forever be loyal to you, my lord. Like my father to your father and my grandfather to your grandfather." Annie reminded him before adding, "Most of the elders are still loyal to your late father and to your cause."

  
"Oh?" Eren turned to stare at Annie and asked, "And?"

  
"It will only be a matter of time before they decide you are too enthralled by that human and order your death. It would be a miracle if they simply ordered your capture and held you prisoner in the Citadel for eternity." Annie concluded, turning her head to stare at Eren as she continued, "Unless you return to us and wash your hands of these human affairs... If you return to the Citadel now, you'll remain as the Grand Master..."

  
"Forever caged in the Citadel?" Eren asked bitterly. Annie closed her eyes and nodded.

  
"And my cause?" There was a hint of anger in Eren's voice.

  
"Another can take your place as the bearer of diplomacy. It does not need to be you." Annie argued as she opened her eyes, her tone remaining void of emotion. Annie stared at Eren as she asked, “This is the best course of action, I'm sure you understand. There is no need for you to die. Even if you were to stay at the Citadel, you would still have the power to ensure our people stay in the right course. You can still lead us to our continued age of glory.”

 

Eren simply stared at her with a grim expression, making Annie's eyes grew soft as she asked softly, "You won't... let her go, will you?"

  
"No, I won't." Eren immediately replied and stood. Eren sighed and smiled sadly as he corrected, "I can't."

  
"Does she know?" Annie asked, staring at Eren with concern blue eyes, "Does she know the extent of your sacrifice for her?"

  
"Thank you for everything you have done. As your lord and master, I absolve you and your family, present and future, of your servitude to me and my family, present and future." Eren said in a calm tone, smiling sadly at Annie, "May your future be brighter and may your wings soar the endless sky forever more."

  
"My Lord, please reconsider!" Annie pleaded, standing and grabbing Eren's wrist to stop him from leaving, "You are throwing away your life for a human who does not even love you back!"

  
"Enough... I am no longer your lord. The pact between your family and mine has been absolved. You are free now... There is no need for you to worry about me." Eren hissed, tugging his hand but Annie only tightened her grip on his wrist.

  
"She will never understand you! To her, we are monsters!" Annie shouted, pulling Eren as she pleaded with tears filling her eyes, "Please, my lord, reconsider! Please don't throw your life away for her!"

  
"Enough!" Eren ordered, glaring at Annie.

  
Tears fall from her eyes as she whispered, "Please... my lord... you must understand... you and that human?"

  
Eren closed his eyes and looked away as Annie whispered, "There is no happy ending for both of you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun-dun-dun!  
> So... congrats to those who got how Eren and Ymir were planning to duke it out. XD
> 
> By the way... the President's Son has a new [ side story ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4233399)... because... I was bored... ^w^()


	19. The Child At Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren hears rumors and gets roped into an impromptu interview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm back from Tokyo~
> 
> Warning:  
> 1 unbeta'ed like usual  
> 2 more backstory stuff, I guess

"Good work today, Eren." Annie Leonhart said as she walked towards the bench Eren was resting on. They had just wrapped up the additional scene ten minutes ago and Eren had been relaxing while waiting for Marco to finish talking to Kitts. Levi was sitting next to him while Oluo was standing under a tree with a good view of the entire set. Petra was already waiting in the car.

  
"You too, Annie." Eren greeted back with a smile. Annie glanced at Levi before turning his attention back to Eren and raising an eyebrow. Eren grinned and introduced, "This is my new bodyguard, Levi Magnolia."

  
Levi simply nodded at Annie but did not say anything. Annie hummed and sat on Eren's other side. She crossed her right leg over her left and asked, "Have you heard the rumors?"

  
"What rumors?" Eren asked, turning to stare at Annie.

  
Annie jerked her head to the direction where Kitts was talking to Bertolt and Marco before saying, "Some people are saying Kitts had a nervous breakdown after the private pre-release viewing of the final movie of Assault on Giants."

  
"Really?" Eren asked, turning to look at Kitts.

  
Annie hummed before adding, "Apparently he had trouble breathing during the final battle. Some even said he began crying at the Garrison scene."

  
Eren frowned at that and said, "That's... interesting..."

  
Annie shrugged and said, "But it's just a rumor. Everyone is mostly hush-hush about the pre-release viewing anyway. Who knows? Maybe they just made up the rumor. Kitts looks as neurotic as he usually is."

  
Eren snorted and retorted, "That's not a nice thing to say, Annie."

  
Annie scoffed and retorted, "Says the idiot grinning at it."

  
Annie smirked when she remembered, "Speaking of rumors, have you heard about the latest rumors about you?"

  
"The last rumor I heard about me is that I'm going to play Satan's child in that movie adaptation of that comic book." Eren said, shrugging before continuing, “Seems to be true, by the way. Marco told me the writer of the comic book did want me as her first choice.”

  
“That's nice. It's been a while since you got a hot-blooded character to play.” Annie commented before she turned to face Eren and said, "There's a rumor going around that Pixis wants you to play the main character for his next project."

  
"Pixis? As in Dot Pixis, one of the most popular directors at the moment?" Eren asked for clarification, turning to face Annie with big wide eyes.

  
"Yes. And unlike the whole Kitts nervous breakdown rumor, this one I heard from Bertolt so it's most definitely true. He even told me he was trying to get me an audition to be your love interest." Annie added.

  
Eren snorted before commenting, "You would think that people would start getting sick over seeing the two of us together project after project."

  
Annie scoffed and retorted, "I doubt it. We look too good together."

  
  


Eren chuckled softly before saying, “I suppose we do.”

  
  


They both saw Marco and Bertolt walking towards them and Annie patted Eren on the back before saying, “That's my cue to leave. I'll see you around, Eren.”

  
  


“Yeah. See you around, Annie.” Eren nodded and watched the blonde get up. She walked towards Bertolt and they talked for a few minutes while Marco stopped to talk to a woman Eren did not recognize. Bertolt finally turned to stare at Eren and nod slightly. Eren waved at him and they both walked out of the park, probably to go to Annie's next appointment.

  
  


Eren watched the two of them leave while telling Levi, “That was the Colossal Titan.”

  
  


Levi narrowed his eyes and stared at the two, “That meek manager?”

  
  


“I'm not sure if he's really meek this time around. He does have a nicer smile now than before.” Eren admitted before shrugging as he said, “He was a real piece of work back then.”

  
  


“I hate him.” Eren admitted, clenching his hands together, “I wanted to pull him apart, limb from limb. I wanted him to feel the pain he had caused to everyone of us when he tore down the walls.”

  
  


Eren smiled grimly as he continued, “Even now, I still feel uncomfortable around him.”

  
  


“But not towards Annie Leonhart?” Levi asked, turning to stare at Eren.

  
  


Eren's smile turned more sardonic as he admitted, “Liking Annie again was easy. I spoke with her a lot of times now. I... managed to separate this Annie from the Annie I knew back then.”

  
  


“She's so similar to Annie but she's also different.” Eren leaned back and said, “I suppose you can say she changed for the better. That's what makes it easier to like her. Bertolt though...”

  
  


Eren gripped the fabric of his pants tightly as he continued, “We haven't really gotten any chance to talk for a long time. I don't know much about him. Just that he's Annie's manager and he seemed to be friends with Marco.”

  
  


Eren grimly smiled as he continued, “Not that being friends with Marco would help give me an idea of how he is. Marco is friends with everyone. He's in a relationship with Horse-face. That pretty much states he's practically a saint.”

  
  


Levi raised an eyebrow at that comment but remained quiet, listening as Eren continued, “In the end, I just don't know if Bertolt is still the same or not.”

  
  


“Do you think he remembers?” Levi finally asked.

  
  


Eren shrugged and replied, “If he does, he's a better actor than he was before.”

  
  


Levi glanced around and saw Marco talking to one of the crew members as he asked, “Do you think he would want to kill you if he does remember?”

  
  


Eren finally turned to look at Levi. His lips curved into a resigned tired smile as he admitted, “A lot of people would want me dead if they remembered who I was before.”

  
  


Levi turned to face him once more and asked, “Why?”

  
  


“I was a monster, Levi.” Eren reminded him which only made Levi frown. Eren raised his hand to stop Levi from opening his mouth and continued, “I mean it literally. Every Titan must be exterminated. That's the only way humanity can win. I knew I was going to have to die in the end and I accepted it. If it meant humanity's, my friends' and comrades', survival, I would gladly offer my heart.”

  
  


“What about your dreams?” Levi asked, placing his hand on top of Eren's clenched fist, “Armin wrote that you wanted to see the outside world.”

  
  


“I did.” Eren admitted with a sad smile, “It has been my dream since I was a kid. But...”

  
  


Eren sighed and intertwined their fingers as he admitted, “During the later years of our life, everything just seems so bleak. I... I accepted the fact that I will have to die in the end. I accepted the fact that I would never get to see the outside world.”

  
  


“What about now?” Levi asked, caressing the back of Eren's hand with his thumb, “There's nothing stopping you from seeing the world now, is there?”

  
  


Eren chuckled and reminded him, “Well, there's this thing called my career. It kinda needs most of my time.”

 

Levi sardonically smiled as he commented, “Ah, that. I forgot about that.”

 

“Really?” Eren stared at Levi with an amused smile and said, “You just watch me act my ass off and you already forgot I'm an actor?”

 

Levi shrugged and replied as he turned to stare ahead, “I did. When I'm with you, all I remember is that you're Eren, the same brat who I fell in love with in just a few weeks.”

 

Eren's smile turned sad as he said, “Levi...”

 

Whatever Eren was about to say was cut off by Marco jogging towards them. Marco looked nervous and a bit sad as he apologized, “I'm so sorry, Eren!”

 

“For what?” Eren asked, discreetly pushing Levi's hand away.

 

“Those guys...” Marco pointed at a man holding a camera and a woman next to him, “... are from a magazine. They want to do a short interview with you.”

 

Marco winced as he admitted, “I kinda... said... yes...”

 

Eren raised an eyebrow at that and Marco quickly said, “I'm so so sorry. I couldn't say no. I mean I should have said no but she was just talking so fast and before I knew it she was alrea-”

 

Eren raised his hand to stop Marco, an amused smirk on his face as he said, “I get it, Marco. Sure. I'll take the interview.”

 

Marco's face seemed to be confused whether to be relieved or to be sad. Marco hurriedly said, “Thank you, Eren! I'll do better next time! I promise it won't happen again!”

 

Eren chuckled and got up. He patted Marco on the back and said with an amused smile, “Chill, Marco. I'm not angry or anything, okay?”

 

“I know but-” Marco seemed to hesitate before leaning close to Eren so he can whisper, “She's a bit of a handful. A lot of managers I know don't like her because she can be... overzealous. Just be careful, okay?”

 

Eren nodded and patted Marco on the back once more before saying, “I'll do my best, Marco.”

 

Eren gave his poor worried manager a reassuring smile before walking towards the woman and her cameraman. Marco and Levi followed him silently with Marco fidgeting worriedly and Levi glaring at the woman they were going to. The moment Eren was near them, the woman had grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to sit on the nearest bench. Some of the staff glanced at them for a moment before returning to their work.

 

"Thank you for taking the time for us even with your busy schedule, Eren." The woman gave a toothy grin that reminded Levi of a hyena as she asked, "Can I call you Eren?"

  
Levi twitched when he noticed the fake pleasant smile on Eren's face as the actor replied, "Of course."

  
"Thank you." The woman nodded at him and tapped her phone a couple of times before nodding at her camera man. She leaned back on the couch and began, "So, Eren, we've heard about how you were scouted after a Japanese acting agency found your video. Can you care elaborate on that?"

  
Eren grinned sheepishly as he said, "Well, I was staying with my cousin and her family together with my mother. My cousin was asked by her friends to be their singer for a group pro-"

  
"What about your father?" The woman interrupted him, making Levi's finger twitch.

  
"He's in Germany." Eren replied, taking everything in stride.

  
"Oh?" The tone of the woman's voice oozed with fake sympathy. Levi narrowed his eyes at her.

  
Eren nodded and explained, "He's a well known neurosurgeon. My aunt's health was failing back then so my mother and I came to Japan to support her and my cousin. My father couldn't leave his job so he stayed behind."

  
"Is that so..." The woman nodded, typing furiously at her phone while keeping eye-contact with Eren, "And? How did they scout you back in Japan?"

  
Eren chuckled softly before answering, "My cousin had a kendo tournament the day her friends decided to shoot their project. They couldn't reschedule because they already asked permissions for the places they wanted to shoot and everything was already prepared. So my cousin pushed me into replacing her instead since I knew the song she needed to sing and her friends already thought I had nice eyes."

  
"Yes, about them..." The woman interrupted, "We all think your eyes are very unique. Were you born with two different eyes?"

  
Eren raised an eyebrow at the strange question as he replied, "Yes, I've had these eyes since I was born."

  
"What is it like to have two different colored eyes?" The woman asked.

  
Eren's smile was a bit sardonic as he admitted, "It was... hard at the beginning. I was teased a lot when I was a kid. A lot of the kids back in my school thought my left eye was creepy."

  
"It is a very unusual color." The woman commented and Levi's hand twitched again.

  
This time, Levi finally realized why.

  
He wanted to take out his pistol and shoot the damn hyena.

  
Eren's smile turned sad and he agreed, "It is."

  
"How did you feel when you were teased?" The woman pressed.

  
Levi mentally thought he would be doing a service to society if he did shoot the damn hyena.

  
"I cried." Eren admitted before smiling sheepishly, "I was a bit of a crybaby back when I was a kid. I would run home and cry. As I grew up, I started picking fights to anyone who tease me. I eventually stopped when I was nine."

  
"What happened?" The woman pressed, typing furiously on her phone.

  
Levi stared at Eren with an unreadable expression on her face even though he was worried inside.

  
Eren had told him what happened when he was nine.

  
He had remembered his life as another Eren Yeager, a child soldier.

  
He remembered the horrors of trying to survive each day, waiting for the Titans to come inside the Walls and end their lives.

  
Eren smiled sadly as he replied, "I grew up."

  
Levi's heart ached at those words.

  
Eren Yeager stopped being a child when he was nine.

  
In a sense, Eren Yeager, the half-German, half-Japanese child with the unusual eyes died when he was only eight.

  
The one to replace him was Eren Yeager, the child soldier who gave up his life for humanity's survival.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's gonna be a slight timeskip next chapter (just a few hours, at most) because I suck at transition XD


	20. To Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi asks questions better left unanswered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> 1 unbeta'ed like usual  
> 2 more backstory stuff, I guess  
> 3 usage of alternative names for terms in Attack on Titan for the made-up book series Assault on Giant  
> 4 ANGST ALERT! ANGST ALERT!!!

 

The rest of the day passed by without any more impromptu interviews or any other calls from any of Eren's other friends. They accompanied Eren to a photo-shoot for a magazine's article of Assault on Giant's final movie.

 

Levi felt his chest ached when he saw Eren wear the uniform of the Scouting Regiment. The two overlapping wings of blue and white had always made Levi feel something he couldn't describe.

 

But when he saw Eren wearing it...

 

There was a pang of pain, covered by the overwhelming feeling of nostalgia.

 

He had always assumed it was because he had missed Eren and his character in the movies had always been one of Levi's favorites.

 

Now that he knew about Eren's past life, his past life, Levi wondered if these feelings were residue of his past life as Eren's Corporal.

 

Does that mean that Eren's Corporal was still inside him, simply waiting to be left out?

 

Did Levi want such a thing to happen?

 

If he was to have the memories of Corporal Levi, what would happen to him? To Levi Magnolia?

 

Would he simply merge the memories and feelings of Corporal Levi and of Levi Magnolia?

 

Or would Levi Magnolia be replaced by Corporal Levi?

 

Will he break like Armin?

 

… like Eren?

 

It was a painful thought.

 

The truth was... he was afraid of remembering Corporal Levi.

 

He didn't know who Corporal Levi was.

 

Nobody seemed to know who he was.

 

Armin's books only described him as one of the few adults who Eren had trusted, the man that seemed to bring hope to everyone around him by simply existing. He had been one of the cornerstones that kept Eren grounded, kept him sane but...

 

What did he really feel about Eren?

 

That's what Levi was afraid of.

 

What if...

 

What if Corporal Levi didn't feel the same thing as Levi?

 

Would his feelings overwrite Levi's feelings?

 

Would Levi... forget he loved Eren? That he still loves Eren even now?

 

“A penny for your thought?”

 

Levi turned his head to the side and saw Eren leaning next to him, holding a paper cup of some kind of hot beverage.

 

It smelled like coffee.

 

Levi turned his head to observe the buzzing happening in front of them. It was already 2 am but the entire set was still buzzing with activities. After the photo-shoot, Eren had a tv appearance together with some of the cast of Assault on Giant. After the tv appearance, they ate an early dinner before going to the set of one of shows Eren was guest staring in. They've been here since 7 pm and... well...

 

Oluo was already sleeping in the car and, last he checked, Petra was nursing her fifth cup of coffee and had turned into a chatterbox who seemed quite at home talking to some of the crew members.

 

Levi never felt so lucky to be an insomniac.

 

Eren sipped his hot beverage and stared in front of them as well. Levi continued to lean on the wall behind them as he asked, “Do you... do you want to see the Corporal again?”

 

Eren's movements froze with the cup still by his lips for a second before Eren slowly pulled the cup away. He placed both of his hands on the cup and looked at the hot liquid inside. Levi turned his head to look at Eren but remained silent, waiting for Eren to answer. A ghost of a smile appeared on Eren's face as he replied, “I... I don't know...”

 

Eren sighed and rolled the cup between his palms slowly as he explained, “I think... I'm afraid of what Corporal would think of me now.”

 

Eren's lips curved into a bitter smile as he continued, “Even until now, I still look up to the Corporal. Sometimes, whenever I would lose myself to my emotions, I would stop and ask myself if Corporal would agree with what I'm about to do. When I'm alone, sometimes my thoughts would drift back to him. I can't help it...”

 

“I had become dependent to his existence.” Eren admitted, holding the cup tight, “He was one of the few people who stayed by my side until my memories... stopped.”

 

“Your memories stopped?” Levi repeated with furrowed brows.

 

Eren's lips pursed for a few seconds before he admitted, “I don't... remember the final battle. I remembered turning into a Titan to defeat the Beast Titan but my memories end there. The last thing I remember was my teeth on my hand.”

 

Eren closed his eyes and said, “That's why... I'm afraid.”

 

Eren opened his eyes and began rolling the cup between his palms once more as he said, “A part of me always knew Armin didn't write the real ending. There was always that part of me that knew something had happened. Something... bad...”

 

“That's why I want to meet this serial killer.” Eren turned his head and stared at Levi as he admitted, “I want to meet this person and ask them. Why me? What happened? Why...”

 

Eren's eyes softened as he whispered, “Why do you want me dead?”

 

Levi's mouth felt dry. 

 

Before he could understand what he was doing, he had grabbed Eren by the arm, pulling the younger man closer. Eren staggered for a moment but kept his balance, a few drops of the beverage in his hands sloshing out of the cup and falling to the ground.

 

“Do you plan on dying, Eren?” Levi asked with narrowed eyes, “Do you plan to die if their answer was to your satisfaction?”

 

Eren's lips curved into a bitter smile as he whispered, “I don't know. Maybe...”

 

“Bullshit.” Levi hissed, “You're not that weak, Eren. You are not some martyr idiot who would lie down while someone stab you like you were a fucking pin cushion.”

 

“How would you know?” Eren hissed back, “You don't know me, Levi.”

 

“And who does? Armin? Your Corporal?” Levi took a step closer to him and hissed, “I may not know Eren Yeager, the child soldier, but I would like to think I know Eren Yeager, the stupid brat I fell in love with.”

 

“Both of them are the same person.” Eren argued, his eyes softening as he whispered, “You can't have one without the other, Levi. Eren Yeager is a monster-”

 

“No. Eren Yeager is a stupid brat who can't let go of the past.” Levi tightened his grip on Eren, “You're still haunted by your past and you don't want to let go. You could be free-”

 

“I can never be free. These memories-”

 

“There is a difference between remembering them but moving forward and remembering them but drowning in them.” Levi interrupted, his chest aching as he saw the despair in Eren's mismatched eyes, “Why can't you see it, Eren? Why can't you see that the only person who thinks you are a monster is yourself?”

 

“The serial killer-”

 

“... is a sick bastard who needs to be put in jail.” Levi interrupted again, pulling Eren closer until their shoulders were bumping as he whispered, “You are not a monster, Eren. Why can't you see how fucking painful it is for me to know that you think of yourself like that?”

 

“I can't...” Eren whispered back, “You don't understand...”

 

“Then explain it to me.” Levi ordered softly, “Make me understand.”

 

“I can't... I...” Eren closed his eyes, “This is my burden to bear, Levi.”

 

“No, it really isn't.” Levi argued, staring into Eren's mismatched eyes as he whispered, “Whoever said it was yours to bear, Eren? Who said you had to continue to drown in this fucked up idea that you're a monster? Armin? Your Corporal?”

 

“No!” Eren shook his head before whispering, “I can't... I remember and they don't... I-”

 

“Oh? So because you remember, it's your duty to stay in that place and never move forward?” Levi asked, “Do you hear yourself, Eren? You sound like you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders when you don't. You don't have to live like this.”

 

“And how... how am I suppose to live, Levi?” Eren asked bitterly, “I close my eyes and I remember everything. I look at Marco and I remember the day Jean told me he had died. I look at my mother and I remember watching her get eaten by a Titan. I look at my father and I remember how his flesh tasted in my mouth. I look at you and I remember the empty stare Corporal have when he looked at our fallen comrades. I look at Mikasa and I remember how I couldn't save her, how her hand felt when she pushed me away, her last smile before the Beast Titan crushed her against a tree.”

 

“You don't understand. You can't understand. You don't have these memories. You don't have this pain.” Eren's shoulders began to tremble and he rested his head on Levi's forehead as he whispered, “You can't... you... You just can't... You will never understand me.”

 

Levi barely heard someone call out Eren, telling him they were ready for the next shot.

 

Levi barely felt Eren pull away from him.

 

He barely saw Eren began walking away from him.

 

He barely heard himself say...

 

“Would your Corporal understand you?”

 

Eren stopped but didn't turn around.

 

Levi stared at Eren's back as he asked...

 

“Would you rather have him than me?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... yeah... This happened... yeeaaahhhh...
> 
> I'm gonna remind everyone to look at the tags and read: “ANGST WITH HAPPY ENDING”
> 
> Don't lose hope, my dears. (aka: please don't kill me for hitting your kokoro)
> 
> Eren does have martyr-like tendencies in the manga (especially in the later chapters)  
> Probably doesn't help his name means “Saint” XD


	21. The Difference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every action has a reaction.  
> Every question has an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:  
> 1 unbeta'ed like usual  
> 2 a little timeskip

Levi didn't know how to react when Eren didn't answer him. Eren just stared at him with this sad look on his face.

 

Like Levi just kicked his puppy repeatedly or something just as depressing...

 

He could only stare as Eren finally turned around when his name was repeated by one of the staff members. Eren played his part perfectly. It was as if their conversation never existed, that Eren never looked at him with such sadness just minutes ago.

 

It was as if Eren Yeager didn't exist.

 

The one who existed was the character he was playing, an easily angered delinquent with a heart of gold.

 

Levi wondered if Eren became an actor as means to escape his life as Eren Yeager.

 

To be someone else... even for just a few hours...

 

The shooting finally ended at 0417 hours. The only incident of note then was Oluo screaming bloody murder when Petra woke him by banging the car door with unnecessary force.

 

He knew Petra didn't have any suicidal tendencies when she decided to surprise an agent trained to use a gun. He blamed the unhealthy amount of coffee the poor lady had consumed.

 

They drove back to Levi's apartment complex in silence. The elevator ride up was also silent, Oluo looking like he could sleep on his feet while Petra was jittery from the remaining caffeine in her system.

 

They said goodnight by the door and Eren reminded them that he was free tomorrow so they could sleep in. Oluo and Petra could only murmur a sound that seemed similar to a tired confirmation but Levi wasn't sure if Eren's words even penetrated the caffeine and sleepiness of the two. Eren simply chuckled and followed Levi inside his apartment.

 

Levi knew that something was wrong when they had entered the apartment.

 

It wasn't his intuition as an agent.

 

There doesn't seem to be anything strange with the apartment.

 

It was his intuition as a person.

 

He could feel Eren staring at his back, remaining still by the door even when Levi had began walking towards his room.

 

Levi turned around to face Eren and stared back silently.

 

He could ask what was wrong.

 

That would have been his first reaction but the way Eren stared at him stopped his words before they could even leave his lips.

 

There was pain in his eyes.

 

Levi never really did understand why he could easily see how Eren felt through his eyes.

 

He could never do it with anyone else.

 

It was only Eren and his mismatched eyes.

 

Eren with his beautiful blue-green eyes.

 

No.

 

He had a blue-green eye and a yellow-gold eye.

 

Turquoise and Amber...

 

Two different eyes which gave two different emotions to Levi...

 

But the pain in his eyes betrayed his clenched jaw and the clenched fists on his side.

 

“Why did you ask me such a thing?” Eren asked, his tone calm and modulated yet Levi heard the anger lying underneath, the repressed rage inside.

 

“You never answered me.” Levi stated, not answering Eren's question.

 

How could he?

 

He didn't even know why he had asked it in the first place.

 

“Do you really think I could?” Eren asked, his voice cracking slightly as his fists begin to tremble, “Do you really think I can choose between you and Corporal?”

 

“Why not?” Levi asked back, taking a step towards Eren as he snapped, “I'm not him, Eren. I will never be him. I don't remember his life. I don't remember his feelings.”

 

Levi took another step as he continued in a softer tone, “I'm me. I'm not the Corporal.”

 

“I know that!” Eren snapped back, taking a step forward as he hissed, “Trust me, Levi, I've known you long enough to know you aren't Corporal.”

 

“Do you want me to be?” Levi whispered, his heart pounding so loudly he almost couldn't hear himself ask, “Do you want your Corporal back?”

 

“I-” Eren stopped whatever he was about to say, staring at Levi for a couple of seconds. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears and his lips was trembling slightly. Eren began walking towards him but Levi noticed how he hesitated, how he dragged his feet, but he kept quiet, silently watching what Eren was going to say next. Eren stopped right in front of Levi and placed his hands on Levi's cheeks. Eren's voice was shaky and quiet as he answered, “I don't want to lose you.”

 

“I'm not like you, Eren.” Levi whispered, grabbing Eren's wrists, “You can't have me and have your corporal at the same time.”

 

“We don't even know if you can become Corporal.” Eren whispered back, resting his forehead against Levi's. Eren closed his eyes as he admitted, “I don't know if I want you to become him.”

 

Eren rubbed Levi's cheeks with his thumbs gently as he admitted, “Some days I miss him so much it hurts. I know I should let go. I know I should simply be happy that you exist but he... he was someone special to me. I feel like it's my responsibility to remember him, to keep his memories alive.”

 

“You should remember him but you shouldn't let it dictate your life. You shouldn't let it chain you down.” Levi whispered, moving his hands to cover Eren's hands as he continued, “Letting go is different from forgetting, Eren. Letting go means finding the courage to face the future, remembering your past but never letting it drag you down.”

 

“You can only say that because you don't have the memories of another life, of that life.” Eren bitterly whispered.

 

“Would it be better if I did?” Levi asked, staring at Eren's tear-filled eyes.

 

“No. It won't.” Eren whispered back, “These memories... they change you. If they ever returned, you'll stop being you.”

 

“Then what should I do, Eren?” Levi asked, pulling Eren closer so their noses were touching. Levi stared at their feet as he whispered, “What do I have to do for you to listen to me?”

 

“I don't know.” Eren admitted, “I don't know what I want. I just... I...”

 

“I've told you before that I'm who I am right now. I'm the Levi who is standing in front of you.” Levi reminded him, “I'm not your corporal but I am in love with you. Seeing you like this? Hearing you say such things about yourself? It fucking hurts, Eren. I fucking hate this feeling.”

 

Levi pulled his hands down and entwined their fingers as he whispered, “I want to see you smile, Eren. I want you to be happy. I want you to act like a fucking insufferable brat.”

 

“Just tell how, Eren. Tell me how I can make you happy.” Levi whispered softly, tightening his grip on Eren's hands as he stared at Eren's eyes.

 

“I... I don't know...” Eren closed his eyes as he admitted, “I don't know how to be happy. I just... I don't...”

 

Levi watched as tears finally fell from Eren's face. Eren rested his forehead against Levi's shoulder, whispering with a cracked quiet voice, “I wish I could just love you. I wish I didn't have any of these memories and just be a normal person in this world but I'm not. I'm not normal. I can't be normal.”

 

“These memories are painful but I won't forget them. I don't want to. I want to remember. I want to remember everyone. I want to remember Corporal.” Eren's shoulders began to tremble as he sobbed, “I don't want to forget those days I spent with everyone.”

 

“You don't have to forget them. It's not about forgetting them, Eren.” Levi whispered, wrapping his arms around Eren, “It's about moving forward. It's about living in the present and preparing for the future.”

 

“I can't... I don't know how.” Eren admitted with a whisper.

 

“You don't have to do it alone, Eren.” Levi stated, “I'm right here. I'll stay with you.”

 

Levi gently pushed Eren away, grabbing his cheeks to force Eren to stare at him. Levi stared at his tear-stained cheeks and smiled sadly as he whispered, “As Levi Magnolia, as the man who has been in love with you for so long... I'm not Corporal Levi. I can never be him. I don't want to be him.”

 

“I love you because of who I am right now. I don't want to change that.” Levi's lips curved into a bitter smile as he continued, “I may never be able to understand what you're feeling, how much pain you are in, but I want to try. I want to be with you. Please, Eren...”

 

“Let me be with you...” Levi whispered.

 

His answer came in the form of soft lips on his.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Er... well... it's less angst-ish?


End file.
